She went through my knife collection...

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Cheap Trills, May 30, 2020.

  1. Cheap Trills

    Cheap Trills Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

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    So, i collect folding knives for fun. Sort of like guitars, I have some high-end ones, some quirky ones...

    I'm working on my laptop when she asks me if she can borrow one of my knives "real quick" for something. I say sure, and continue working. I hear her come in and out of the house several times over the course of the next hour and a half. My curiosity gets the better of me after a while and go outside to see what he's doing...

    Next to a tree is my pocket knife collection thrown about on the ground as she is sawing away at a tree branch the size of my neck. Yes, "sawing" with a plain edge knife, not "chopping" or "hacking", she was pushing them into the branch with all her weight expecting them slice it in half like Excalibur. No, she didn't even try with any of the ones with serrations, she started with what she thought was my sharpest knife (read: most expensive) and worked her way down... pushing as hard as she could. Then when they stopped being "effective", she got the next one.

    "Your knives aren't very sharp".

    "it's the wrong tool for the job, you need a saw or an axe"

    "There aren't any around, you sound annoyed with me..."

    I went inside and got her a serrated kitchen knife so she could continue (yes, I know where the axe is), then checked if my M4 Benchmade could still cleanly slice paper... nope. Cheaper knives had clear rolls.. I mean, I can't imagine what she was thinking doing this for an hour and half.. that's some edge retention test.
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2020
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  2. tery

    tery Doctor of Teleocity

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    Maybe it was a test to see if you really loved her ?
     
  3. sean79

    sean79 Poster Extraordinaire

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    Ouch. When I started reading, I thought she was doing something nice - like building some kind of display for them. Guess it’s time to sharpen some knives - and buy her a bow saw.
     
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  4. tubegeek

    tubegeek Tele-Afflicted

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    I thought this was going to go a different way based on the title.
     
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  5. tubegeek

    tubegeek Tele-Afflicted

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    I'm not sure I want my significant other knowing where I keep the bow saw. We've been locked down a few months now and she's getting pretty sick of me.

    (See post above.)
     
  6. stormsedge

    stormsedge Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

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    I hide the spark plug for the chain saw...
     
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  7. tubegeek

    tubegeek Tele-Afflicted

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    You've been together a while, too, huh? No surprises!
     
  8. Switchy

    Switchy Tele-Afflicted

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    Well, I think you got off easy... I have relatively cheap kitchen knives, but I take pride in keeping them nice and sharp with whetstones.
    Anyway, when my GF cooks, she gets a little carried away, and doesn't spend time looking for the can opener, so she was grabbing the knives and piercing them like a WWII soldier out in the field. :eek::rolleyes:

    Yeah, I got a llittle cranky when that happened.
     
  9. SPUDCASTER

    SPUDCASTER Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    Was this after she came in through the bathroom window?
     
  10. nvilletele

    nvilletele Friend of Leo's

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    The “will this knife cut through a very thick tree branch” test is the newest one on Forged in Fire.

    It hasn’t been broadcast yet, as they are still in the middle of the test.
     
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  11. Jakedog

    Jakedog Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    What the actual hell? I can’t imagine a person trying that with even one knife, let alone a pile of them. How would it even occur to somebody to attempt that? I’m totally speechless.
     
  12. Jesse414

    Jesse414 TDPRI Member

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    Sorry to hear hope you can get them all sharpened back up glad no one got hurt. :)
     
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  13. glenlivet

    glenlivet Tele-Meister

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    My wife let slide that she and her best friend have a pact....and a code word that means "I need help moving and burying the body".....
     
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  14. memorex

    memorex Friend of Leo's

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    If this is your wife, cancel your life insurance policy. If this is a girlfriend, rethink.
     
  15. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I think she needed one of these blades.

    [​IMG]
     
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  16. papa32203

    papa32203 Tele-Holic

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    You tell her she is using the wrong tool for the job. Then, you get her a kitchen knife? Hmm.....
     
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  17. 24 track

    24 track Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    In 5 years you weill laugh about it at parties!,

    but now that she knows where you keep your collection , I'd sleep with one eye open , her last name isnt Bobbitt is it?
     
  18. 985plowboy

    985plowboy Friend of Leo's

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    I’m at a loss for words.
    Not sure this has happened before.

    My main thought is “Why would she think that would work”.

    Oh well, nothing broken no one hurt.

    So far. Let us know if it plays out differently.
     
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  19. televillian

    televillian Tele-Afflicted

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    she ain`t the sharpest either
     
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  20. scooteraz

    scooteraz Friend of Leo's

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    At least she didn’t use your Telecaster as a hammer...:eek::eek::eek:
     
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