Rant time - Vacation weddings

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by uriah1, Jan 28, 2019.

  1. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    In this neck of the woods, there's lots of degree holders working for Starbucks and Kinkos (or whatever they call it now)
     
  2. noah330

    noah330 Friend of Leo's

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    When I got married my wife wanted to get married in Greece. We had a regular wedding here but after we were married maybe a year and a half or two we went to Greece and got married again.

    We brought a whole bunch of people with us. We also paid for a few people. You don't know the backstory of this couple, that and not everybody wants to get married the way the previous generations did.

    Look at how many Boomers on here are divorced or have been married multiple times - not exactly a generation to give anyone advice.
     
  3. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Agreed on that!
     
  4. Whatizitman

    Whatizitman Friend of Leo's

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    Right. Bridezilla and Hollywood weddings long predated social media. And millennials. Destination weddings were destined to become bourgeois at some point.
     
  5. Fiesta Red

    Fiesta Red Friend of Leo's

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    My niece had a “destination wedding,” albeit in La Veda, Colorado (a hard day’s driving distance from D/FW, where most of the guests were from)...neither bride nor groom are from that area, they just thought it would be “prettier” that way.

    Beautiful scenery, lovely ceremony, wonderful event...but it did put some burden on several people involved, and I have asked my daughter to be more considerate when her time comes.

    I also offered her the cost of a (moderate) wedding as a wedding, if she would have a simple ceremony and use the money more wisely, like as a down payment on a home or as a nest egg for the start of their journey together...she’s agreed thus far...but she’s 17, and it better be a loooong way off.
     
  6. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    you guys with daughters, what's your take on dowries?
     
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  7. Wallo Tweed

    Wallo Tweed Friend of Leo's

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    There are quite a few of us here that have been married for a long time.

    I have millenial grandkids, and they are nothing like what I see portrayed on these pages. They and their spouses own their own homes a few years before their 30th birthdays. It bugs the heck out of me when I see someone put the entire generation in the same group. But you know what? It bugs me to hear people lump the boomers all together, or to brand all gen X as slackers.

    In some ways we took a hosing from the greatest generation, and the Notch Babies took one from those who came before them. But I don't consider everyone of my parents' or grandparents' generations to be the bad guys.
     
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  8. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    At least three camels!
     
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  9. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Is that from a father-of-the-bride's perspective, or a groom-to-be's perspective?
     
  10. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    That is what needs to be transferred from bride's family to the groom's family, but you also have the bride price (going the other way) and the dower (given to the bride). Discussions of these are best done on horseback with much shooting into the air.
     
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  11. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    No, the dowry is in place because daughters are a liability , and the marriage is shifting that liability to the groom.
    EVERYone knows that:cool:
    (I like the horseback/shooting thing though)
     
  12. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    Three camels, take it or leave it!
     
  13. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Well, she's not gonna stay 18 forever, y'know...
     
  14. rcole_sooner

    rcole_sooner Poster Extraordinaire

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    I always here that, but the few I've met, when I try to get them to send a resume to my company ... it becomes obvious that there is a reason they are unemployable. It has nothing to do with lack of demand for any given degree.
     
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  15. Paul in Colorado

    Paul in Colorado Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Reading all of this is making me glad I never got married. I did get divorced, though.
     
  16. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    Omar the one-eyed is seriously interested.
     
  17. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    Now we're all progressive type 'round here, eh? How does dowry work with same-sex marriage?
     
  18. bgmacaw

    bgmacaw Friend of Leo's

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    If I had earned a CS degree in 1980 I don't think it would have held up. But, learning how to learn has held up. I think today college is seen as more of a trade school.

    Speaking of the classes I took, I wonder if I can get a refund on that "Foreign Policy and the Soviet Union" class. Hmmm.....
     
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  19. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    It's a wash
     
  20. chemobrain

    chemobrain Friend of Leo's

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    I APPRECIATE YOUR SENTIMENTALITY.

    Personally having been married once I think eloping or secret weddings running off to the chapel of dreams in Vegas, is more appealing than having to accommodate so many people's expectation, all of the "you have to do this and that because that's how it's supposed to be." It seemed like we were just walk on extras at a ritual that was about what others wanted and or expected at our own wedding. Would I do it again , All the families coming together an performing a ritual that was without meaning to me. Not to mention their opinions about a member of their family marrying an anarchistic tree hugging dirty worshipping agnostic that doesn't attend mass, on sunday having been to confession the day before.
    I didn't understand that when I married my true love I inherited a ton of baggage belonging to others. I didn't know really about becoming part of the family, feuding in-laws having to interrupt my life to participate in meaningless holiday celebrations that have no meaning to me.
    How obligated am I to live up to the expectations of strangers who have decided I'm going to become a part of an dysfunctional family. And yes I was very accommodating when it came to participating with a smile and an continence, to take the heat off of my blushing and randy bride. Knowing that the pliers used to exert pressure to conform to "how we do it" , would come out and be applied to my true love was motivation enough to help ease her discomfort. My family clearly understood that not interfering with our lives was not going to be tolerated as in , Mind your own business.

    I go to A.A. and N.A. meetings and people come in and talk about having to go visit their families and how they dread it, and my advice is take a gun with you, a large caliber hand cannon and when you come to the table for the festive meal set "Oscar"down next to your plate and cover Oscar with a napkin with the tip of the barrel peeking out from under the napkin.

    Now just to be clear , take a gun is a metaphor translated means you have a right to self defence even in your family
    It's about setting boundaries regarding what is and isn't acceptable behavior with regard to how you are treated.
    A Lot of people appreciate the metaphor when reflecting on their families behavior.

    I'm sure that if you have married or are going to marry you will love your in laws as much as they love you and will have many wonderful gestalts with them.....maybe:rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2019
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