RANT!!! MY "BABY" BROTHER IS HOME, I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.

Kandinskyesque

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All 6' 5" 280lbs of my brother arrived on Saturday. He's here for a month.

He flew in from Sydney to Edinburgh the long way because it was cheaper (Sydney-Arizona-NYC-Edinburgh). He got delayed for 36 hours in NYC so he was properly 'pickled' when he arrived and I'll be surprised to see him anything less than 'paralytic' while he's here.
(Background: in Scotland we have more words for drunk than the Innuit have for snow).

The last time he was here 3 years ago for my auld fella's 80th he left utter chaos. A major fisticuffs at my auld fella's party after my brother dropped my eldest grand-daughter on her head.
Miraculously I didn't get involved; I was too busy making sure my daughter and grand kid were all right; however, the incident lit the touch paper for all the other siblings and partners to air their frustrations with him and each other, resulting in the church hall became like a scene from "The Quiet Man".

I'm as angry (still) with certain people for using that situation for their own ends.

I'll do my best to avoid him while he's here but there are some unavoidable situations where I'll have to see him.

My daughter has decided to have all 4 of her kids Baptised in the Catholic Church in few weeks time. We have organised a party afterwards in the church hall and had no idea at the time that my brother was going to be in Scotland.

Not inviting him isn't possible; there are certain people in our very large family who find my loud, opinionated. obnoxious, 24/7 drunk brother endearing and this will cause major rifts that my daughter can do without because she lives next to the majority of the family.

No doubt having a talk with my brother before the event will be something I'll have to do. However, on the evidence of me already repeatedly telling him to no avail that phoning me when he's 'three sheets' is unacceptable, I have no doubt whatsoever any talk I have with him will not be well received.
It's highly possible, I'll have to convey my message in a language he understands.

I'm getting too old for this man child sibling.

Rant over.
 

nojazzhere

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All 6' 5" 280lbs of my brother arrived on Saturday. He's here for a month.

He flew in from Sydney to Edinburgh the long way because it was cheaper (Sydney-Arizona-NYC-Edinburgh). He got delayed for 36 hours in NYC so he was properly 'pickled' when he arrived and I'll be surprised to see him anything less than 'paralytic' while he's here.
(Background: in Scotland we have more words for drunk than the Innuit have for snow).

The last time he was here 3 years ago for my auld fella's 80th he left utter chaos. A major fisticuffs at my auld fella's party after my brother dropped my eldest grand-daughter on her head.
Miraculously I didn't get involved; I was too busy making sure my daughter and grand kid were all right; however, the incident lit the touch paper for all the other siblings and partners to air their frustrations with him and each other, resulting in the church hall became like a scene from "The Quiet Man".

I'm as angry (still) with certain people for using that situation for their own ends.

I'll do my best to avoid him while he's here but there are some unavoidable situations where I'll have to see him.

My daughter has decided to have all 4 of her kids Baptised in the Catholic Church in few weeks time. We have organised a party afterwards in the church hall and had no idea at the time that my brother was going to be in Scotland.

Not inviting him isn't possible; there are certain people in our very large family who find my loud, opinionated. obnoxious, 24/7 drunk brother endearing and this will cause major rifts that my daughter can do without because she lives next to the majority of the family.

No doubt having a talk with my brother before the event will be something I'll have to do. However, on the evidence of me already repeatedly telling him to no avail that phoning me when he's 'three sheets' is unacceptable, I have no doubt whatsoever any talk I have with him will not be well received.
It's highly possible, I'll have to convey my message in a language he understands.

I'm getting too old for this man child sibling.

Rant over.
You have my sympathies.
While my family has its share of eccentrics and non-conformists, we don't have ANYONE who is like your brother sounds. We have a huge range of political and religious viewpoints, but everyone "suppresses" those long enough to get through a family gathering. It's not so much having respect for differing views, but it's mostly just wanting to avoid exactly what you describe.....for the sake of the younger family members.
We may have a few folks who drink......but no one gets stinking pickled at get-togethers. Best wishes.
And, for the voyeurs among us, (including me) let us know how it goes.
 

Toto'sDad

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You have my sympathies.
While my family has its share of eccentrics and non-conformists, we don't have ANYONE who is like your brother sounds. We have a huge range of political and religious viewpoints, but everyone "suppresses" those long enough to get through a family gathering. It's not so much having respect for differing views, but it's mostly just wanting to avoid exactly what you describe.....for the sake of the younger family members.
We may have a few folks who drink......but no one gets stinking pickled at get-togethers. Best wishes.
And, for the voyeurs among us, (including me) let us know how it goes.
We don't have one of those, but we have a friend who had one that would make the OP's brother look like he'd been on a starvation diet. As far as our own family, we are all of the exact same persuasion, and get along like a batch of puppies in a basket.
 

Mike Eskimo

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uggggh I hate drunks.

That crap runs all through my family - including my dad, his brother, their father, and his father who was from Ireland.

Plus, we all know and can grasp the concept of - there’s a time when we fade into the background because it’s not about us.

Which of course, is part of being an adult.

But the narcissistic/sociopathic/“oh come on, we’re just having a bit of fun here aren’t we? “ drunk doesn’t get that.

You need somebody bigger and stronger or better yet, somebody that’s both who also has a badge to squeeze his shoulder periodically and say “steady little man, steady…”

Time to go outside the family is what I’m saying!
 

memorex

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I've never had to deal with this problem in my family, but if I had a brother who frequently gets drunk and out of line, my response would be to tackle him and slap him around a little. Of course, if he were a lot bigger than me, I'd have a taser handy, and wouldn't hesitate to use it.
 

WingedWords

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I have a drunk violent younger brother and I sympathise. In a way, it's not a problem: he doesn't know where my sister or I live now or my phone number. I haven't seen him for probably 15 years. But he did severe psychological damage to his son and daughter and deeply hurt our mother in her last years - I've no interest in him. But I shall be thinking of you in the next few weeks @Kandinskyesque. Look after yourself first.
 

MickM

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All 6' 5" 280lbs of my brother arrived on Saturday. He's here for a month.

He flew in from Sydney to Edinburgh the long way because it was cheaper (Sydney-Arizona-NYC-Edinburgh). He got delayed for 36 hours in NYC so he was properly 'pickled' when he arrived and I'll be surprised to see him anything less than 'paralytic' while he's here.
(Background: in Scotland we have more words for drunk than the Innuit have for snow).

The last time he was here 3 years ago for my auld fella's 80th he left utter chaos. A major fisticuffs at my auld fella's party after my brother dropped my eldest grand-daughter on her head.
Miraculously I didn't get involved; I was too busy making sure my daughter and grand kid were all right; however, the incident lit the touch paper for all the other siblings and partners to air their frustrations with him and each other, resulting in the church hall became like a scene from "The Quiet Man".

I'm as angry (still) with certain people for using that situation for their own ends.

I'll do my best to avoid him while he's here but there are some unavoidable situations where I'll have to see him.

My daughter has decided to have all 4 of her kids Baptised in the Catholic Church in few weeks time. We have organised a party afterwards in the church hall and had no idea at the time that my brother was going to be in Scotland.

Not inviting him isn't possible; there are certain people in our very large family who find my loud, opinionated. obnoxious, 24/7 drunk brother endearing and this will cause major rifts that my daughter can do without because she lives next to the majority of the family.

No doubt having a talk with my brother before the event will be something I'll have to do. However, on the evidence of me already repeatedly telling him to no avail that phoning me when he's 'three sheets' is unacceptable, I have no doubt whatsoever any talk I have with him will not be well received.
It's highly possible, I'll have to convey my message in a language he understands.

I'm getting too old for this man child sibling.

Rant over.
Do you mind telling us you and your brother's age?

You know the old saying "you can pick your friends, your nose, etc but you can't pick your family" is unfortunately true. I have 2 younger brothers and the one closest to me in age grew up very well balanced meaning that he had a chip on both shoulders. Nothing was ever his doing and everybody hated him (his view). Luckily since he hit 60 he's mellowed quite a bit. I love him and have to say that I've never known anybody with better wiring and carburation trouble shooting skills, so there is that!
 
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Kandinskyesque

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Do you mind telling us you and your brother's age?
44 next week.
The same day as I'm 30 years married.

(Edit) He 'entertains' far eastern clients for an Australian bank, which may or may not give an idea of the type.
He has also come over here without his other half, which means there ain't no leash on him.

The middle brother (49) is the more sensible/conventional of the 3 of us in general but with a very short fuse. His wife's is even shorter.
 
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Blazer

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Make sure to keep your camera on hand rolling video to catch all the fun!!

It could make you a ton of money should it go viral!!
Thank you for giving me an excuse to post THIS.


After Dave England stopped drinking, Johnny Knoxville tweeted "Goodbye Darf and good riddance"
 

nvilletele

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You can choose your friends, but not your relatives.
Blood is thicker than water, but so is mud.

I feel for your situation.

But I have somewhat mixed feelings. My brother is dead, and I miss him terribly, every day. But he was neither a drunk nor a problem, he was well loved by many. His absence from my life is painful.

I'm not suggesting that you engage in a relationship with your brother, what with the way he is, but I do hope that (however unlikely), somehow, someone or something turns him around, away from drinking and towards being a better brother and a better person.
 

drf64

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You need somebody bigger and stronger or better yet, somebody that’s both who also has a badge to squeeze his shoulder periodically and say “steady little man, steady…”

Time to go outside the family is what I’m saying!

Does Andre the Giant have any living relatives?
 




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