Quit drinking last weekend...

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Axegrinder77, Oct 17, 2019.

  1. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    My old man used to combine his drinking with beating the crap out of me, I hated to see him come home drunk for more reasons than one. I haven't seen him in 66 years, you know it's a strange thing, but I still miss him.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2019
  2. BorderRadio

    BorderRadio Poster Extraordinaire

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    Keep it up, make it stick, don't look back.
     
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  3. G.Rotten

    G.Rotten Tele-Holic

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    I've always been 100% addicted to guitars & pretty much nothing else. My alcohol intake rose a lot (for me) when my GF moved in with me as she would routinely bring home wine or beer & I have no issues drinking socially. However, once it starting feeling like a habit & after putting a few more pounds on I had to tell her not to buy me anything.

    I've always had a fairly high tolerance. 3 beers won't give me a 3 beer buzz so for me there's no point to having only 1 or 2, other than a cold fizzy drink is damned refreshing. Now i just buy Carbonated water (Lime or Lemon or whatever). Does the trick for me.
     
  4. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    For those of you who think I'm a cranky old S.O.B. here on the forum, you should have seen me when I was a young buck loaded up on a full belly of whiskey, I could have shown you horesesass big time. My first encounter with a garage band didn't go nearly as well as my more recent one! :eek::D:lol:
     
  5. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    One of the casualties of not drinking, is the little parties and such where you get together and pretend to eat little cracker things and visit, while you pour down booze. I have friends who sometimes insist we attend one of those things, when I drank they were a delight, now that I don't drink, they are kind of like a nail pulling session. We show up, make the rounds and exit almost in a single circle.
     
  6. mkdaws32

    mkdaws32 Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

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    LOL! Been a long time here - 30 years or so. I woke up one morning (or probably the afternoon) after crashing with my bandmates - we consumed what was probably a dangerous amount of beer the night before. I remember having the thought - "Why did I drink so much beer? It's not that I love it. It's not that I'm thirsty. I mean who would drink a 24 of Pepsi in a few hours even if they loved the stuff?". That was the start of it. A few weeks later, I cousin of mine and I were snowmobiling, fully roasted on Canadian Club (my thing - his was straight vodka). We drove into my uncle's secluded hunting camp - just the two of us maybe at 2AMish - and proceeded to finish off our bottles. I have never been so sick and when I woke up the next day, it was the first time I had "lost significant time". It was very scary after the fact. That was my last hard drink. Shortly after, I stopped drinking altogether, just because it was expensive and started feeling like stupid thing to be doing anyway. I won't say I have never had another drink, but I can count on my hands how many I have had in the last 30 years and I can't tell you when the last one was. Never two on the same night. I don't believe I was ever an alcoholic because I was able to quit with no trouble and no withdrawal. However, to anyone who tries to quit on their own and then falls off the wagon I have two things to say: 1) don't get discouraged - don't quit trying to quit! 2) don't be afraid to get some help, whatever that looks like for you. Trying to better yourself is never something to be ashamed of, and it someone makes you feel that way, seek help elsewhere!

    Peace and all the best on your journey!
     
  7. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    It can also be a reminder of what being drunk really looks like without the lens of drunkenness that makes those loud jokes seem so funny and those loud proclamations seem so brilliant.

    And it's worth noting that even drunk people who don't have a drinking problem pretty much act like fools while drunk.

    I suppose we all need to act like fools now and then, but paying big money to act like a fool in a crowd of other people trying to out fool you seems like an odd goal to have in life.

    Can you imagine at the end, regretting not having spent enough of your life getting drunk and acting like a fool?
    Maybe some folks really do value that and keep it as a goal in life?

    Given how seldom we choose to hang out with a bunch of drunk people while we are not drinking, I wonder how clearly we know how we look and act when drunk?

    Should we maybe see a video every morning, of the highlights of our last drunken behavior (stuff our kids and family would see when we get home), might we still want to spend our free time that way?

    Of course much of what doesn't show in a video of our drunken antics, is the way kids and spouses FEEL when they are afraid of when the next drunken antics will result in shame or harm of some sort.
    That fear of our drunken state can be all day every day for loved ones who we hurt and harm when in that state where we can't see their feelings or control our behavior.
    Could be years or decades later that we learn how scared our child was.
    Sometimes by then it's just too late for apologies or amends.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2019
  8. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Good post, glad you made it to the stopped group.
     
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  9. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Can you imagine, a world where people did not use mind altering substances of any kind. No more fist fights resulting in death over a real or imagined insult, or the favors of a woman on a dance floor. At least a large percentage of marital abuse eliminated, child abuse, animal abuse, just to name a few. Perhaps the most important all the lives which would not be lost to drunk or impaired drivers. I still enjoy going to a few local concerts, but the absolute stupidity displayed by men and women alike when they're in their cups is difficult to endure when you are a teetotaler.
     
  10. PCollen

    PCollen Friend of Leo's

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    42 year old having his wife clean up his barf while his 3 year old son watches. Good Lord. I'd be reluctant to admit that in a confessional, much less in a public forum of faceless, nameless "friends". You need the 12-step program, and a sponsor, bad, Bro.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2019
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  11. Axegrinder77

    Axegrinder77 Tele-Meister

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    Wow, judge much? My 3 year old was asleep when I got home. I didn't force her to clean it. I would have happily cleaned it, had I known it was there! Anyways, your comment is definitely more of a reflection of you, than of me. I hope you can improve yourself too!
     
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  12. PCollen

    PCollen Friend of Leo's

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    Sometimes the truth hurts. Meditate on the Picture.
     
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  13. Axegrinder77

    Axegrinder77 Tele-Meister

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    You're not speaking "truth," but rather being a jerk. It's okay, I didn't expect everyone on TDPRI to be empathetic and to read all the posts in detail.

    My truth to you is to gather facts before you spew half-measured, ignorant, hypocritical "advice." We all make mistakes. At least I admit mine and am taking steps to correct it. Meanwhile, you'll likely continue being an arrogant jerk. Next time, if you post, try to add some value. I'm guessing this would be good advice for you in general - try to add value as a person. Good luck!
     
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  14. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Is that event really unusual among guitar band/ bar band musicians?
    Isn't it really quite common in the lives we know in our corner of society?
    Whether or not one guy has a problem and another guy just has fun, playing music in bars, drinking and getting sick, pretty much go hand in hand. Even if not us getting sick, playing music in bars we choose a life where this is reality.

    Are you maybe a classical guitarist who never sees much drunken behavior?
    Seems like this is the way of Western Civilization today.
    Work hard, stress out, drink hard, start over...

    I've had friends in recovery who work in white collar business jobs, and the hardest thing they find is that on business trips where they have to do business outside of the 9-5 office, the peer pressure to get drunk while on business trips, doing business after hours, makes that work particularly challenging. Business associates as a group don't like it when one isn't drinking.
    Just noting that business as usual involving drunken behavior isn't only a biker bar low life thing.

    I'm truly surprised that you're surprised.
     
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  15. thunderbyrd

    thunderbyrd Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    I hope you can keep your resolution. i'll help you by telling you this: after you've gone some period of time sober, 3 or 4 months or whatever, if you drink, the hangover will be vicious.

    they also get worse the older you get. so bear these things in mind.
     
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  16. Axegrinder77

    Axegrinder77 Tele-Meister

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    In my experience (from taking a month off drinking - Sober October etc), drinking after not drinking for long time, you end up going way overboard. It's like "I can drink! weeeeee look at me!" It feels so good and you forget about what a nasty hangover feels like. And, your body isn't used to it, as you mentioned. Yes, important to note. Also a good excuse not to start again!
     
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  17. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    It's also worth noting in that scenario of drinking after being sober for a while, that being sober for a while tends to start up little stories in the mind.
    Stuff like: "it wasn't so hard not drinking, I deserve a drink to celebrate!", or "Hmmm, if I can go that long without drinking at all, maybe I can control the drinking now?".

    Even if not going 12 step program, it may be worth keeping track of the time since quitting.
    While drinking is a thing we have in life, we may not think of sobriety as a thing we have, which makes it easier to throw away.

    If you have 60 days or six months, that's a thing that you worked to get, and identifying it as a thing by the number of days/ weeks/ months/ years may be useful in adding value to that thing we worked to get.
    Even when our mind tells us it's a thing we lost: drinking.

    One thing we learn in recovery with others is how getting sober or clean isn't as hard as staying sober or clean.
    Another thing that seems to be a very clear pattern, is that drinking again after a period of not drinking, often brings a sort of apathetic hopelessness that's hard to shake and harder to live with.
    Might be tolerable at first but once it becomes a pattern, it feels like being trapped in a loop of repeated failure.
    Even more scary to loved ones.
     
  18. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    When I worked for a large corporation in my early thirties, I thought I'm on my way, I've hit the big time! Then I found out that what really went on when we would fly to a big organizational meeting to discuss the facts of doing business in our respective parts of the country what we really did was sit around and drink, and talk about the last time we got together and drank. I grew tired of the big time pretty quickly. Walked away, and never looked back.
     
  19. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    This IS a confessional booth. Cool thing is, you can come here seeking advice on almost anything. There'll be some lemons, and there'll be some peals of wisdom. It's up to each of the seekers that which he will keep and that which he will discard.
     
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  20. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    People seem to have skipped over the really bad part of drinking and smoking, not always, but some folks develop dreadful health issues, once you get 'em it's too late to quit. I have a very good friend who was diagnosed with lung cancer, a small spot, he was treated and doing well. Then he developed esophageal cancer, which my son had, and did not survive. When my friend's son took him to L.A. to a specialist, they did a complete exam on him, and discovered a cancerous brain tumor. Now they are not even going to treat the esophageal cancer until they treat the brain tumor. He is a lifetime smoker, as was my son. They say that smoking causes cancer, I'm no expert so I don't know, but both smoked, and got similar cancers. Just like my friend's cancer metastasized to other places in his body, so did my son's. Was smoking to blame? Who knows, but how would have things worked out for both of them had they not smoked? I smoked for years, quit a very bad habit of at least two packs a day, sometimes more if I worked all night. I quit thirty years ago, just like I did booze, quit cold neve looked back. I am so thankful I took both alcohol and tobacco out of my life's equation.
     
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