Public Fart

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by jumpnblues, Aug 15, 2020.

  1. jumpnblues

    jumpnblues Friend of Leo's

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    Anyone ever done it publicly and unintentionally? Where were you? I was using a weight machine at the gym and shall we say erupted under the strain? Good thing mine don't stink. ;)
     
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  2. E5RSY

    E5RSY Doctor of Teleocity

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    New band name.
     
  3. jumpnblues

    jumpnblues Friend of Leo's

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    Yeah, I thought someone might mention that. :p
     
  4. Recce

    Recce Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    Good thing only a fart.
     
  5. JSMac

    JSMac Tele-Meister

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    I have to be very careful these days. Good thing I work outdoors.
     
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  6. 985plowboy

    985plowboy Friend of Leo's

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    No, fortunately.
    However, I have taken yoga classes off and on over the years whenever I have been having back trouble and it can be a struggle some of my classmates have lost.
    I consider it a success to make it through an hour session without incident.
     
  7. RoyBGood

    RoyBGood Doctor of Teleocity

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    Homer Simpson to Bender (who has just given advance warning of one):

    ''There's no need to announce it... just do it quietly then blame it on the dog.''
     
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  8. CajunJ

    CajunJ Tele-Holic

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    Intentional or nothing.
     
  9. EsquireOK

    EsquireOK Friend of Leo's

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    Publicly; yes.

    Unintentionally; no.
     
  10. Zepfan

    Zepfan Doctor of Teleocity

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    You know what happens if you fart in church?
    You have to sit in your own pew.
     
  11. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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    every day. crop dusting IS a sport. dude, don't kid yourself, your farts stink. I don't apologize or excuse them... I act like nothing happened... even when it is purposeful.
     
  12. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    If I fart in public, I try to look like I'm doing it subtlety, but actually in doing so calls attention the fact that I'm moving away from the person sitting next to me. Taking your hanky from your cargo shorts and holding it to your nose while you're doing so, will divert attention from the fact that you may have passed a little something extra in the seat of your cargoes when you farted. Of course the injured party will always try and act like they didn't do it, which just clinches your argument that they did!
     
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  13. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Man, if I could be Superman for only one day!

    [​IMG]
     
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  14. jguitarman

    jguitarman Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    A buddy of mine was working in an office environment standing still when a lady co-worker crept up from behind. She jabbed him in the ribs at just the wrong/right time and he let loose. He was the new guy in the office and more than a little embarrassed. I'm still laughing.
     
  15. EsquireBoy

    EsquireBoy Tele-Afflicted

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    When I was a child I used to watch tv side by side with my mom on the sofa. One evening she farted loudly when sneezing and I remember so clearly both of us feeling embarrassed: that was one of those days when you become aware you have grown up.
    A bit like the first time you feel embarrassed seeing your parents naked.
     
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  16. Old Deaf Roadie

    Old Deaf Roadie Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    Never trust a fart.
     
  17. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Back when my wife and I still walked the golf course, we were in one fairway, and an old lady walked by in the next fairway over pushing a little golfing cart and let loose a long bubbling blaster of a fart that would have been the envy of fat men everywhere! She thought she had got away with it until I called out, GOOD SHOT LADY!
     
  18. koen

    koen Friend of Leo's

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    I crop-dust all the time. Although recently I'm avoiding crowds.
     
  19. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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    Exercise tends to make that biological function more prevalent. And the public aspect of that has been moreof a problem lately, since my wife and I have changed our evening walk routine. We used to walk in our own neighborhood. Others walking their dogs or just walking for fitness are occasionally out as well, but they're few and far between, so letting one go wasn't that problematic.

    For the last week or so, we've changed to walking down to a public park. It's just 3 blocks from our home, and from our house to around the park and back again is a tad over 3 miles. I like that new routine, but we encounter a lot more people that way. I've tried to look all around me before expressing myself in such a fashion, but the other day one got away from me. There were other walkers, not immediately behind us, but still closer than I would have liked. I don't know if it was heard.


    The dreaded fart combined with $#!T. Would that be called a shart or a fit?
     
  20. Collin D Plonker

    Collin D Plonker Tele-Holic

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    When I didn't realize I was lactose intolerant, I wasn't nice to be around. My bandmates got on my case big-time one day. I couldn't tell them what was wrong. I found out shortly after that. Now I just have regular farts, having given up all dairy.
     
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