Psychi vampire. Have you ever met one ?

drmordo

Friend of Leo's
Joined
Jun 27, 2019
Posts
2,935
Age
48
Location
Tampa, FL
My mother. Not kidding or exaggerating. There's a reason I am her only child who talks to her and I struggle to keep her at arm's length. She is probly the most manipulative and vampiric person I have ever known. FWIW she actually does stuff that Colin Robinson does on WWDIS. She actually makes that show slightly less funny for me.

You can imagine how this has impacted my relationships with women, but the truth is it's been 30 years since I realized how twisted she is and I have come to grips with the fact that all women are not like her.

But she did make me really good at watching and reading people in order to understand their true intentions.

So... yes, I know a real life energy vampire.
 

Alex_C

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
Nov 8, 2020
Posts
1,518
Age
58
Location
Florida
True story about a psychic vampire and my inability to deal with a metal band.

In 2013, I answered a CL ad for a metal band that was seeking a guitarist.
The band had a large air conditioned space, with a stage. lighting and a PA. A really nice setup and it was about 1.5 miles away from my home. I was stoked!

Auditioned against another guitarist. The singer came in and started singing a line, so I started doing a call and response thing to his line. He is like, ‘Yeah, that is what I’m talking about!’ He turns to the other guitarist tells him to ‘pack it up’. Harsh.
They tell me that I have the gig. Yay? Then they tell me that this is how it’ll go: We will write songs, record them, get a record deal and tour.

We are all in our mid 40’s to mid 50’s. I’m thinking ‘WTF?!?!’ but the setup is NICE and a few minutes from my home. I know this isn’t going to happen like they think, so I agree to give it a go. They give me their names. ‘Lethal’ is the singer, ‘Black V’ is the bassist and ‘Spazz’ is the drummer… they ask me my name and I say ‘Alex’. They say ‘Alex’ is a cool name. Okayyyyy.

We get together 2 days later and jam. It is LOUD, I can’t hear anything because it is SO LOUD. My 30watt amp is on 10 and I can’t hear what I’m doing. I ask if we can turn down so we can hear each other. The answer was ‘No, this is a metal band’. I vow to get a 100 watt amp for next practice and convince them to turn down just for now. I can finally hear. They are decent players, the vocalist is pretty good.

Afterwards, my ears are hurting and I’m really struggling to find the joy. We are sitting around and the bass player tells me he is a vampire. A psychic vampire, although he sometimes drinks blood. I chuckle, and he tells me that it is true. At this point I’m wondering if I can deal with this crap. The people are obviously delusional, it was 2013 not 1983. The bassist is insane. Did I mention the space was clean, air conditioned and right down the friggin’ street from my house?

My ears were ringing when I got home and didn’t stop for three days. On day two, I texted the band with “I’m out”. That is my true psychic vampire story.
 

57joonya

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
Jul 23, 2021
Posts
1,561
Age
48
Location
New Jersey
OK long story but stay with me for a chuckle.

For those that don't know, that video clip is from "what we do in the shadows" and spotlights Colin who is a vampire.

I watched about three episodes of the show before I got bored with it (I am just not a vampire guy) but was introduced to Colin during that time. I laughed my backside of as there were so many similarities to someone I knew.

Colin is not your usual vampire, he is an Energy Vampire. He does not suck your blood, but he sucks the life out of you by being around you. He looks like Dilbert from cartoon fame and makes me laugh as I used to work with a guy just like him.

Once I walked out to my shop manager's office and found him asleep at his desk. I woke him up as I had a question and the manager looked at me and said, "Sorry about that, but Greg just left a minute ago".

Greg (name changed to protect the immortal) was one of our accounting guys and Greg had to be an energy vampire. When Greg first came to work for us he worked in a Pod with two other people. After both of those people quit over a period of two weeks, Greg had the whole office area to himself. Then we hired another accountant and that guy quit two days in.

Then the boss decided to put one of my sales guys in the office with Greg. This guy was one of my better sales guys and once he moved into Greg's domain his sales started sliding. We put him in there because he needed the space but after two months I had to do a performance review and he begged to get his old cubicle back. I told him he was the one who wanted to move into the new space because he needed more space. He said that he did not know what was going on but just listening to Greg talk made him tired.
We moved him back to his old cube and his sales went back to normal.

Then we hired an old lady to help Greg with the accounting stuff since Greg was doing the work of two people. She was in her mid 60's and was like one of those old hippy grannies. She had a pep to her step and seemed to be 20 years younger which is why the boss hired her. She lasted two months with Greg and then DIED... Just did not come to work one day and her husband called in and said she died in her sleep.
It was then that we all started to look at each other and question if something evil was walking among us.

Crucifixes were bought and worn around the office to no avail, they have no effect on an Energy Vampire. The front desk secretary started growing garlic in her succulents planter but that did not work either. There were even some that talked about taking a stake to him but we discouraged anyone from doing something that they would regret later.

I was unsure of Greg until we had a pot luck lunch one day. I watched as Greg did not touch one piece of food the entire lunch. He just wandered from table to table talking about stupid stuff until the people at the table emotionless ate their food and then returned to work. It was amazing, everyone after the lunch was tired and we blamed it on the Turkey and Dressing, but I know now it was Greg.

After that lunch (it was just before Thanksgiving) Greg audited the entire sales teams budget and came to my office just before closing time. He sat down in the chair in front of my desk with a stack of file folders and waited until I got off of a phone call. As I hung up he told me that he had audited the expenses of each sales person and wanted to go over them with me.

I told him I did not have time and he could leave the files with me and I would look them over later. He persisted that it was important that he go over each and every file with me. I told him that was not happening today and that I would look them over when I had some time and it would be after Thanksgiving. He then told me that he was good with that, and on the Monday after Thanksgiving he would be in my office at 8AM to go over the files. I said "whatever" and then got another phone call and sent Greg out of my office.

Monday AM after Thanksgiving Greg was in my office before me. He seemed kind of depressed and slow. I came in and he quickly perked up and started going over the sales expenses. At 8:30 Greg was back to his normal self but I was feeling drained. I could not focus, I was getting irritable and decided that I needed a cup of coffee. I excused myself and Greg said he would wait for me to come back.

There was no way I was going to go back into that room with him. I ran into one of my sales guys who was about to leave on a call so I told him I was going with him. I told my secretary to tell Greg that I was called out and that he could leave the files on my desk and I would go over them later. I then left and was gone the entire day.

The very next day, Greg was in my office waiting on me when I arrived. I explained I did not have time to meet with him personally and I would get a response back to him later on his audit. Greg insisted we go over the expenses and I practically had to throw him out of my office.
He terrorized us for a full six months, feeding on us a little each day, sucking the life out of all of us.

Then the miracle happened.

My boss found him a better job. Now it wasn't that Greg was bad at his job, we probably had the best oversight ever when it came to the financials during his tenure there, but he sucked the life out of everyone. The boss was talking to another guy who owned a company who was complaining that he needed a good auditor and our boss offered Greg. There was a substantial pay increase, a corner office, and some other perks but Greg did not accept the position until the new guy told him that there were about a hundred people working in that office. Greg accepted accepted the position immediately. I know this because Greg told me that he loved it where we were, but he NEEDED to be around people and our small office was cramping his style (PS Greg had no style, he dressed like Dwight from the office almost every day). He was sad to be leaving but excited about the new opportunities. Just shaking his hand after he had cleaned out his desk almost put me into a coma.

It was year later as I watched this Documentary that I realized what exactly Greg was. I wish I knew then what I know now, I would have driven an stake through his heart and saved our company and the poor souls he afflicted.

I know some of you are thinking, "Man Preacher, you have to be making this up..." But I am not...
Great story! I’m sorry for your suffering . But I too have suffered friends like this. Maybe not that extreme though
 

johnny k

Doctor of Teleocity
Joined
Jan 15, 2011
Posts
10,564
Location
France
I've met people who suck the life out of a room.

I'm not sure about "pyschi vampires." Some people are just exhausting to deal with so you just avoid them or eliminate them from your life. (That can include family members in the most extreme cases).
yeah you are right it is psychic vampire. The name pretty much fits the description. I am eagerly awaiting for the psychic mummies, or werewolves.
 

WRHB

Tele-Holic
Joined
Nov 15, 2020
Posts
713
Location
USA
Dear Greg, I don't live in California anymore. I cordially invite you to visit me at my place of residence in Detroit city. Well, I don't really cordially invite me, but if you do find me, I won't answer the doorbell, and will treat you like a porch box thief!
You know your in Detroit when the McDonald’s employee asks “can you afford fries with that?”
 

WRHB

Tele-Holic
Joined
Nov 15, 2020
Posts
713
Location
USA
True story about a psychic vampire and my inability to deal with a metal band.

In 2013, I answered a CL ad for a metal band that was seeking a guitarist.
The band had a large air conditioned space, with a stage. lighting and a PA. A really nice setup and it was about 1.5 miles away from my home. I was stoked!

Auditioned against another guitarist. The singer came in and started singing a line, so I started doing a call and response thing to his line. He is like, ‘Yeah, that is what I’m talking about!’ He turns to the other guitarist tells him to ‘pack it up’. Harsh.
They tell me that I have the gig. Yay? Then they tell me that this is how it’ll go: We will write songs, record them, get a record deal and tour.

We are all in our mid 40’s to mid 50’s. I’m thinking ‘WTF?!?!’ but the setup is NICE and a few minutes from my home. I know this isn’t going to happen like they think, so I agree to give it a go. They give me their names. ‘Lethal’ is the singer, ‘Black V’ is the bassist and ‘Spazz’ is the drummer… they ask me my name and I say ‘Alex’. They say ‘Alex’ is a cool name. Okayyyyy.

We get together 2 days later and jam. It is LOUD, I can’t hear anything because it is SO LOUD. My 30watt amp is on 10 and I can’t hear what I’m doing. I ask if we can turn down so we can hear each other. The answer was ‘No, this is a metal band’. I vow to get a 100 watt amp for next practice and convince them to turn down just for now. I can finally hear. They are decent players, the vocalist is pretty good.

Afterwards, my ears are hurting and I’m really struggling to find the joy. We are sitting around and the bass player tells me he is a vampire. A psychic vampire, although he sometimes drinks blood. I chuckle, and he tells me that it is true. At this point I’m wondering if I can deal with this crap. The people are obviously delusional, it was 2013 not 1983. The bassist is insane. Did I mention the space was clean, air conditioned and right down the friggin’ street from my house?

My ears were ringing when I got home and didn’t stop for three days. On day two, I texted the band with “I’m out”. That is my true psychic vampire story.
Were you expecting the bass player to be normal? You’ll regret your decision as soon as you start sweating when you rehearse with your next band!
 
Last edited:

Telekarster

Poster Extraordinaire
Joined
Aug 14, 2019
Posts
6,576
Location
Earth
Whatever you do, avoid dating them too. I've dated a few back in the day and in addition to them sucking your life out, they have a unique ability to suck money out of your wallet too ;)
 

Slip Kid

Tele-Afflicted
Silver Supporter
Joined
Dec 21, 2011
Posts
1,019
Location
Connecticut
True story about a psychic vampire and my inability to deal with a metal band.

In 2013, I answered a CL ad for a metal band that was seeking a guitarist.
The band had a large air conditioned space, with a stage. lighting and a PA. A really nice setup and it was about 1.5 miles away from my home. I was stoked!

Auditioned against another guitarist. The singer came in and started singing a line, so I started doing a call and response thing to his line. He is like, ‘Yeah, that is what I’m talking about!’ He turns to the other guitarist tells him to ‘pack it up’. Harsh.
They tell me that I have the gig. Yay? Then they tell me that this is how it’ll go: We will write songs, record them, get a record deal and tour.

We are all in our mid 40’s to mid 50’s. I’m thinking ‘WTF?!?!’ but the setup is NICE and a few minutes from my home. I know this isn’t going to happen like they think, so I agree to give it a go. They give me their names. ‘Lethal’ is the singer, ‘Black V’ is the bassist and ‘Spazz’ is the drummer… they ask me my name and I say ‘Alex’. They say ‘Alex’ is a cool name. Okayyyyy.

We get together 2 days later and jam. It is LOUD, I can’t hear anything because it is SO LOUD. My 30watt amp is on 10 and I can’t hear what I’m doing. I ask if we can turn down so we can hear each other. The answer was ‘No, this is a metal band’. I vow to get a 100 watt amp for next practice and convince them to turn down just for now. I can finally hear. They are decent players, the vocalist is pretty good.

Afterwards, my ears are hurting and I’m really struggling to find the joy. We are sitting around and the bass player tells me he is a vampire. A psychic vampire, although he sometimes drinks blood. I chuckle, and he tells me that it is true. At this point I’m wondering if I can deal with this crap. The people are obviously delusional, it was 2013 not 1983. The bassist is insane. Did I mention the space was clean, air conditioned and right down the friggin’ street from my house?

My ears were ringing when I got home and didn’t stop for three days. On day two, I texted the band with “I’m out”. That is my true psychic vampire story.
This is the reason I refrain from posting and responding to musicians wanted ads. People are crazy! The unfortunate result is that my circle of musician friends is more of a triangle.
 

Bob Womack

Friend of Leo's
Joined
May 28, 2016
Posts
2,606
Location
Between Clever and Stupid
I won't name a woman who had the gift of reducing my wife to tears within five minutes of arrival when she came in from out-of-town. She would then emotionally bleed everyone around her dry until she left.

I used to work on a crew at a national TV network. We had a guy on the crew who was nicknamed "Velcro." The rule was, "Don't say 'Hi' to Velcro or he will attach himself to you, follow you around, and talk nonstop about himself until you break it off, forcefully." It wasn't in my nature to forcefully eject folks but this guy would follow you into the bathroom, lean on the wall, yammer on, and then follow you out. Utterly draining.

Oh, and by the way, to an introvert, everyone else is a psychic vampire.

Bob
 

Vegetable Man

Tele-Meister
Silver Supporter
Joined
Sep 12, 2010
Posts
381
Location
Dallas, TX
...‘Lethal’ is the singer, ‘Black V’ is the bassist and ‘Spazz’ is the drummer…

Could they join forces and turn into a giant robot that fights aliens when the earth is in danger?

I would have told them that my name was Lord Humongous or Master Blaster.

Then again, this is probably why I have no friends...
 




Top