Pre Holiday Fun with the Blues--> awesome breakup stories

getbent

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Okay gang, share the brutal breakups you have gone through OR put someone through.

Don't be kind, be honest.

Annnnnnnnnnd, go-->

I will share one at some point.
 

imwjl

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I was stalked by a woman when I was in college. Stopping that was brutal for everyone involved. What even made me think about it was recently she sent me a message on Facebook announcing her divorce and asking what's up. I was mortified. Extra mortified by what I saw.
 

getbent

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I was stalked by a woman when I was in college. Stopping that was brutal for everyone involved. What even made me think about it was recently she sent me a message on Facebook announcing her divorce and asking what's up. I was mortified. Extra mortified by what I saw.

ho ho ho.... noooo... that makes me laugh in horror....

I was pretty madly in love with a girl... she lived 110 miles away... I was dutiful. Every weekend I'd make the drive, we'd spend the weekend.. it was going along great... for a year or so... then, I noticed a beer in the fridge that... well, I just could tell something was up. I asked, nothing. I shrugged, maybe I was wrong... within a couple of weeks, we had 'the talk'... it was the 'lets see other people' and 'this is just a trial, I'm pretty sure of what I want and that is you, but I need to be sure' ohhh sure!

But, I was enamored, so I played along. Then, it came. I was completely brokenhearted. A couple of weeks passed. Some of our mutual friends called and invited me to hang out and I said, 'sure'... and they kind of arranged to have several people at their house, I thought, ahhh a bbq, okay! But, it wasn't. They were there to tell me that while they worked with her, they did not like her. I had mixed feelings. I liked that I had a crew of friends, but I was hoping we'd get back together, which meant, big problems down the road.

The next tuesday, she called me at work and left a message to call. I did. She asked for me to come and pick up my things from her place. She kind of implied (wishful thinking on my part) that maybe we could talk and she'd been having a hard time. When I arrived, I knocked on her door, I'd decided to be business like and just be cool about things. She had a small pile of things, several we'd bought for us, it made me sad, but I picked them up and in two trips, I had my truck loaded.

She invited me in and began crying and hung on me... and said she'd been having a terrible time and she missed me... and kept hugging and then I realized, she had 'other' intentions... I asked her if she was sure and she said she would 'really miss that' and I realized BOOTY CALL! What the heck!

It made me mad. She was definitely already seeing a specific person (who she ultimately married) so, what was this all about? I pulled away (yeah, I have regretted it, but not for many years) and wished her well and left.

The next few months were just blues. BUT, professionally, they were awesome. I was chosen to host a tv show for kids (a game show) on the education channel and was a finalist for a state teaching award and the team I coached did really well and we were in the news and on tv. I was down in the big city shopping and ran into her and she tried to chat me up and I nodded and said Hi and kept going... She called several times after and sent a couple of letters. NOPE.
 

Big_Bend

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I married my high school sweetheart, the only girl I ever seriously dated.

Our marriage lasted 32 years, then it all went to hell and we divorced about 4 years ago.

It is the only breakup I've ever had, sorry not very exciting.

I will never have another breakup again, as I don't plan to ever be in a relationship again with someone who thinks they can argue with me or tell me what to do.

Keeping it casual works great.

Good luck ya'll!
 

bgmacaw

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I don't have one of my own but I did get to witness a friend's devastating, unexpected, break-up. If I want to get in the frame of mind to play some blues, I just have to think about this one.

They had been dating for about two years and living together in a house they bought for about 6 months. Both were doing quite well in their jobs although she was doing better, having just gotten a promotion to a middle management level position at a major software company. She had flown out to San Francisco to the corporate HQ for a two week training session.

Back in those pre-cellphone, expensive long distance calls, days, my friend had only talked to her once while she was gone. He missed her terribly and was looking forward to her return. He had bought a dozen dozen (144) roses and put them throughout their house as well as "Welcome Home" balloons and banners. I had helped him pick them up and get them setup. Then, just as I was about to leave, he got "the call" from her.

She called him from the airport and told him that she wasn't coming home. Instead, she was going to stay a day or so at her parents' house before flying back out to SF. She said her brothers would come by to pick up her stuff the next day and he shouldn't be there when they do. He asked her, "Why?". She told him that she had fallen in love with her boss while she was at the meeting and she stayed at his house most of the time. She was going back there to live with him. That was perhaps the most devastated I've ever seen anyone where there wasn't an unexpected death in a family.

The experience messed him up emotionally for about a year.
 

getbent

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I don't have one of my own but I did get to witness a friend's devastating, unexpected, break-up. If I want to get in the frame of mind to play some blues, I just have to think about this one.

They had been dating for about two years and living together in a house they bought for about 6 months. Both were doing quite well in their jobs although she was doing better, having just gotten a promotion to a middle management level position at a major software company. She had flown out to San Francisco to the corporate HQ for a two week training session.

Back in those pre-cellphone, expensive long distance calls, days, my friend had only talked to her once while she was gone. He missed her terribly and was looking forward to her return. He had bought a dozen dozen (144) roses and put them throughout their house as well as "Welcome Home" balloons and banners. I had helped him pick them up and get them setup. Then, just as I was about to leave, he got "the call" from her.

She called him from the airport and told him that she wasn't coming home. Instead, she was going to stay a day or so at her parents' house before flying back out to SF. She said her brothers would come by to pick up her stuff the next day and he shouldn't be there when they do. He asked her, "Why?". She told him that she had fallen in love with her boss while she was at the meeting and she stayed at his house most of the time. She was going back there to live with him. That was perhaps the most devastated I've ever seen anyone where there wasn't an unexpected death in a family.

The experience messed him up emotionally for about a year.

that is pretty brutal... the no warning thing is brutal... it must mean he was missing signs along the way, right?

The humiliation part is no fun either.
 

SixStringSlinger

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I got bit.

Not nibbled nor love-bit. Bit.

It wasn't even angry or part of a fight. She was...er...excited.

Didn't see her again after that.
 

bgmacaw

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that is pretty brutal... the no warning thing is brutal... it must mean he was missing signs along the way, right?

I think there were warning signs from the beginning and even mentioned them to him at one point but he was oblivious to them and dismissed them.
 

getbent

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I think there were warning signs from the beginning and even mentioned them to him at one point but he was oblivious to them and dismissed them.

I learned a lot from that experience... the biggest thing.. even if you really want something... you don't necessarily get it, no amount of effort, being 'good' all that... if it isn't right for both, it just isn't gonna work out.

and the signs... well, they are always right there... but we look past them because you know, wrong answer.

What bugs me about it is that I had some other great opportunities that ALSO had signs that I ignored because I was so sure and I passed on some people who likely would have been great for me...
 

KokoTele

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Two of my own...

I was 30 and had met a girl in the late spring. Instant chemistry and things were going great. Had one of the best summers with her, and we were starting to get pretty serious. She was a teacher and had been teaching for several years, and at the end of the summer I was hired for my first teaching job. I called her right after I got the offer, and her response was "That's awesome, and now we can have our summers off together," which she followed with "oh shoot, that's too fast." I said "It's okay, I'm there too." A week later she broke up with me out of the blue, just as school was starting. I later found out that she got around quite a bit, so I dodged a bullet.

Fast forward 10 years. I'd had an unexpected kid and was going through a tough custody battle. Was busy being the best dad I could to my baby boy and met a girl at the end of the summer. We had fun, but I was nowhere near ready to be serious with anyone. Was also very clear about that with her. My feelings never developed past "You're neat," but on Christmas eve we exchanged gifts and her card came with a heartfelt letter and "I love you." I was not ready to say it back, so the rest of the evening was pretty arduous and ended with her breaking things off.

4 months later, as I was in the home stretch in this ridiculous custody fight, I received a letter from her that started with "I feel like you threw me out of a moving car." I didn't even finish the letter. At that point we'd been apart longer than we dated, and I didn't have any bandwidth for it.

Besides, I'm not that great, so I have no idea why she was so hung up on me. :lol:
 

unixfish

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I was dating a girl in High School for a bit over a year. She was one year behind me. When I left for College, we decided to "make it work". I saw her only a few times during the year, but things seemed OK. When I got back, she gave me the "I'm 95% sure I want to stay with you, but I want to pursue...". She broke it off. I was hurt, but got over it. This was early to mid 1980s.

At the time we were together, I did not recognize the signs that pointed to manic depressive traits. She loved to play "games" - she would invite me over, and when I got there I found that her mother and step father were at a gathering the next neighborhood over, and the were supposed to call before they left to come back. She loved the danger and excitement; it just gave me anxiety. Neighbors would have seen my car in the driveway, right? I never did meet her step father; if I was there, he would sequester to a back room and never come out. I don't think I ever even saw him in the 18-ish months we dated. I'm not sure he even existed. I only met her mother twice. I really should have recognized this as red flags. Young and stupid, right? I think she did me a favor in the long run by breaking up with me.

She contacted me in 2014 - left a voice mail at work (I have no idea how she got that number, but whatever). My wife wanted me to call her, just out of curiosity. I called her once, and we exchanged an Email. Very odd conversations - "So, what have you been doing since we last met?" How do you sum up 30 years? She also told me she did me a favor by breaking up with me, so I owed her one. She told me about her bi-polar treatments. She called me a second time, and got really personal, wanting to dig into my life, telling me I needed more excitement (I must not have said enough in my 30 year overview :D), wanted to know about my relationship with my wife and daughter, etc. I broke off contact. Immediately. She Emailed a few times, asking why I would not keep in touch. I did not respond.

My wife looked her up on Facebook - she was newly remarried, and not happy from what we could tell. She was probably trying to see if she could re-kindle an old flame, or push the "danger" thing that she seemed to need. No thank you. Not just no, he|| no.

My one and only stalker! :D Like I'm such a great prize.
 

sax4blues

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Same story.

My first adult girlfriend in college with an apartment, all was glorious. Then she went to dental school, met someone, dumped me, I cried (never again).

Couple months later she wants back. We spend the day together in Santa Cruz, sun, fun, very happy. Went back to her place, resumed relations. Walked out the door and never looked back.

I know that’s very cliche and immature but blame it on 20.
 

imwjl

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A former boss RIP had a horrible scenario where his wife got a new job for a well known NBA team and he learned she was really taking care of the team in a very personal manner. He took the high road, left his seat as a professor, and started a computer business in a different city.

He would always tell anyone getting married or for any invitation he would have a car waiting in case anyone got cold feet. Well, it actually happened. The bride left in his car. He went to front of the church, announced what happened, suggested it was better than too late, and suggested everyone there at least enjoy the food and beverages waiting.

I witnessed a really sweet ending to the first paragraph. He always took the high road with his kids and what happened. At I think his 55th birthday his kids surprised him and said they knew more than the parents thought, and always appreciated his taking the high road and being rock solid for them. That his behavior taught them how to behave. His refusal to go negative with any of it, be civil with the ex surely helped him have 3 loving kids who cared for his rotten progression with cancer that killed him.

Tony RIP. It was a privilege to have a boss who always knew how to behave for the scenario, in addition to make great bets on people and technologies.
 

1guy

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When you've been in as many relationships and dated as much as I have, you have ALOT of breakup stories, unfortunately. A few of the women I broke up with SEVERAL times.... looking back I think I broke up with all of them more than once.

I've been blessed to have had some amazing and beautiful women in my life, but I was never ready to commit for the long term, except for once...got married for about 9 years.

However, I've had several serious GFs I was with for 3-7 years, each.

Originally, I was gonna touch on a few of my break ups, but there's nothing entertaining about them. They were terrible, and I was the one who initialized the split in all but one of them.

It feels like a punch to the gut, when I think of the times I had "the talk" with my ladies...the crying, the look on their faces, the pleading for me to change my mind.

The only one smart enough to leave me...after I had put her out previously, left me the day after one of our many breakups.

I thought we had worked things out, and had amazing sex the morning she left.
But, when I got home that evening, she had taken all her stuff and moved out, leaving me a dear John letter.

I should've known, by the way she hugged me that morning, as I left for work, that something was up. She held me for what seemed an eternity.

Now, I've been with the same lady, off and on...more on, for nearly 8 years and I'm determined to make it work this time.
 

Jerry_Mountains

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I don't have one of my own but I did get to witness a friend's devastating, unexpected, break-up. If I want to get in the frame of mind to play some blues, I just have to think about this one.

They had been dating for about two years and living together in a house they bought for about 6 months. Both were doing quite well in their jobs although she was doing better, having just gotten a promotion to a middle management level position at a major software company. She had flown out to San Francisco to the corporate HQ for a two week training session.

Back in those pre-cellphone, expensive long distance calls, days, my friend had only talked to her once while she was gone. He missed her terribly and was looking forward to her return. He had bought a dozen dozen (144) roses and put them throughout their house as well as "Welcome Home" balloons and banners. I had helped him pick them up and get them setup. Then, just as I was about to leave, he got "the call" from her.

She called him from the airport and told him that she wasn't coming home. Instead, she was going to stay a day or so at her parents' house before flying back out to SF. She said her brothers would come by to pick up her stuff the next day and he shouldn't be there when they do. He asked her, "Why?". She told him that she had fallen in love with her boss while she was at the meeting and she stayed at his house most of the time. She was going back there to live with him. That was perhaps the most devastated I've ever seen anyone where there wasn't an unexpected death in a family.

The experience messed him up emotionally for about a year.


Damn! That reminds me of Scenes From A Marriage, the remake HBO did this year. It's devastating.
 

fasteddie42

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I'm 32.....geez that's weird to say...erm write?

My parents rescued a best friend of mine from an abusive home situation in early high school. In time we ended up young fated lovers. We had a kid early, I was 18 and she was 17.

It uhh... Didn't work out.

There was shrapnel every direction, no one got out clean. A while lotta hurt for a whole lotta people.

Small town, friends and families at odds, sharing a kid with a gal I was hopelessly in love with who didn't love me. Many court battles and much vitriol. I ended up winning custody of my daughter, but it never felt like a "win". It was a special kind if hurt.

It ate me up for years.

In the past I would have taken this opportunity to go through my trauma with excruciating detail. It took a very long time, but these days I'd rather not put myself through it all again by breathing anymore life into the matter. The past is in the past.

Looking back, there was blame to be laid at everyone's feet. Everyone was wrong and we could have all done better. Young love can be a dangerous and fickle thing.

Eventually we all settled into new rhythms and life moved on.

Hindsight and time are funny things.

Its cliche, but my daughter has been the most positive thing in my life. I have reasons to live beyond myself.

I have the worst **** I ever went through to thank for the best thing I got going.

Irony is a a bigger ***** than my ex, but I wouldn't be where I am now without them.

As ol' @brookdalebill says "thanks for listening".
 

davidge1

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I had a long-term girlfriend break up with me once, and I instinctively said something like "That's OK, I didn't want to be with you anyway." It wasn't true, but I knew what her reaction would be. She was hurt by it. She wanted me to want to be with her. She felt bad and wanted me to feel bad too, so that we could temporarily share this hurt somehow, before she went on to be happy with her next boyfriend. Right?

But at the same time, there was something about me saying something as stupid as that that she found attractive. It was the best thing to do, because it instantly took all the heaviness and seriousness out of our relationship, which had been too stifling for her, or too much too soon, or something. We were part of the same social circle and I didn't want anything awkward. So now I could flirt with her and be very casual and she liked that. Eventually she wanted to get back together with me, but she had missed her chance.
 




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