Passed over for promotion: third time's the charm

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Moriarty, Jan 24, 2020.

  1. Moriarty

    Moriarty Tele-Meister

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    I have just been passed over for a promotion in favor of, not to put too fine a point on it, someone who isn't me. For the third time.
    My team likes me. The clients like me.
    I'm just too vocal for management. I should keep my mouth shut. Nobody wants to hear bad news. I swear if the building was burning down, all upper management would say is "look at the pretty colors! So what if the place is on fire! Why do you have to be so negative?"
    After a day of some hard thinking, this is the conclusion I arrived at:
    They are right. I don't belong there.
    I'm not wallowing in self pity here.
    I don't belong there because they don't deserve me.
    I'm polishing up my resume and taking my talents and passion to a competitor.
    I am not changing who I am to make someone else happy. I am comfortable with myself, warts and all.
    If they don't want me, so be it...
     
  2. Preacher

    Preacher Friend of Leo's

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    My daughter laughs every time this comes on...

    its the "whoo" and clapping at the end that gets her.
     
  3. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Is/was it a "promotion" into management?

    Because, that's no promotion, and they did you a favor by passing you by for it if that's the case, IMO
     
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  4. stormsedge

    stormsedge Tele-Afflicted Gold Supporter

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    Sometimes we have to take the big step out of our comfort zone to reach our goals. Happy Hunting!
     
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  5. NewKid

    NewKid Tele-Holic

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    Corporate life is a show and you need to be “on” all the time. Hiring managers appreciate workers with a positive attitude especially when things aren’t going as planned.

    Your friends and family can accept you for who you are but don’t expect it of coworkers or your boss. They are just there to get a job done.

    Once in a while, I forget it’s a game and that’s when my career stalls.

    Scott’s Bass Lessons on YouTube has a great lesson called How to be Professional that speaks to the right attitude for any job.

    Good luck finding another gig. However, if you like your coworkers and your clients you could try a more positive approach to your work first.
     
  6. ce24

    ce24 Poster Extraordinaire

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    I once said to my boss.... Your the boss, tell me what you want. He told me and I said ok! He walked away with a smile and I went ahead and did what I thought was right. He never bothered me again. I came to the conclusion that consistency of employment Trump's my ego. Im now comfortably retired going on 6 yrs. On a teachers salary and pension over 35 years. I decided on the long game...YMMV.
     
  7. boredguy6060

    boredguy6060 Poster Extraordinaire

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    OP, obviously I don’t know anything about you, but I have known people like you who were too vocal for management. In fact that would probably be a good way to describe myself.
    People with these qualities need to be on their own, doing their own thing in their own way. That’s what worked for me and it served me well for 40 plus years.
    The challenge in the beginning is figuring out what your thing is. Work on that instead of trying to be a round peg in a square world.
    I knew several people through the years who had the same issues and ended up doing extremely well on their own.
    You can to,
    Good luck,
     
  8. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I had a promising career with a national company, a pickup truck, an expense account, and airplane trips. Then I got to thinking along the lines you are. I ended up working at so many different jobs, and different kinds of jobs I honestly don't remember them all. Going into the dark world of trucking which you never completely emerge or recover from was one of my means of making a living. Finally fifteen years before retiring I fought my way back into a job with a pickup truck, an expense account, (no flying) and enjoyed the best days of my working life. I can't say in the end whether my pride was to blame, or if I'm just pig headed. I can't even say for sure whether it was worth it, but I saw an awful lot of country along the way, and had many great adventures. Just be careful what you wish for, you might get it.
     
  9. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    An observation I completely agree with BT! Along the way I noticed that a sure fire way to leave a company within a short time was to be promoted to the highest position that everyone including the one being promoted knew they couldn't handle.
     
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  10. GGardner

    GGardner Tele-Afflicted

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    Same here. That whoo always cracks me up.
     
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  11. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    It's an odd thing that when I look back on my more than fifty years of employment. My days of being a heavy hauler are the ones I look back upon with the greatest fondness. So many adventures, every day my running mate Don Quixote and I saddled up and slayed many a Windmill with the dearth of dragons upon the land preventing us from wetting our lances with their blood.





    Scan0161.jpg
     
  12. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity

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    I'd like to see the follow-up on "Claire" in three or four years......how many times will she have been passed over on promotions (at her new job) by then? (or not?) We simply don't know if she lost her promotion to the owner's nephew who was stupid but a great "schmoozer", or was highly qualified for the position.
    NOT referring to the OP......but I've never known anyone wanting a promotion who DIDN'T believe he/she was the best person for the job.
    I've been thought to be an underachiever most of my life, because I never had the burning desire and ambition to want the kinds of jobs that just suck the life out of so many people. My favorite job ever (not counting musical ones) was when I was a neon glassblower. Very "blue collar", but I was proud of the fact that I was able to take raw materials, use personal skills and abilities to fashion those materials into something of value to others, and get paid for it. No scamming, manipulating, coercing, or taking advantage of anyone involved. You might say it was an honest and beneficial to all quid pro quo......;)
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2020
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  13. Stubee

    Stubee Doctor of Teleocity Gold Supporter

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    I worked in a pretty large corporation for 32 years. There’s an art to “playing up” and nearly all who reached higher management levels were very good at it. Being “too vocal” was typically not in synch with playing up unless your targets were those management was also “vocal” about. I played up OK, but was far better “sideways and down” as that’s where I lived and was likely most comfortable. I’m kind of surprised I did as well there as I did!

    From your description I’d say yeah, you might be “too vocal” for the management ranks there. In my company those types could advance to great positions on the professional vs executive management ladder. Being vocal and even being pretty darned weird were more acceptable there, and the organizational headaches sometimes less. You might be right to look elsewhere if that option isn’t available where you’re now employed.
     
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  14. Nubs

    Nubs Friend of Leo's

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    Yeah man I can totally identify with OP. When I become passionate about something, I become very enthusiastic and involved. Some people view that as too controlling and I can see how people could view it that way.

    The band I was in that was just getting rolling completely derailed because we had 1 not so good practice. I called it like I saw it and emailed the fellas detailing why I thought our latest practice went badly. Now I may not have used some feathery light and nice comments, but again if I'm passionate about something, I'm gonna tell you about it directly. So I cited examples of how our intro to one song was really off and bad and how people were off time and out of key.

    Now, as direct as I can be, I made damn sure that I didn't specifically call anyone out on these examples. Praise in public, shame in private. And I always encourage feedback and open discussion. But those things didn't matter. Everyone jumped all down my throat, not about the content of the email and the examples where we need to improve, but about how I said these things.

    Now I will agree mostly that it isn't what you say but how you say it. But there are times when people need a wake-up call and sometimes that means hitting people right between the eyes. IMO this was one of those times.

    I gave this situation a lot of thought because playing in a band is something I've been dying to do for years and I didn't want to handle this fragile issue the wrong way. And I have come to the conclusion that these guys are being too soft and sensitive. I looked back at what I wrote and am not sorry for what I said or how it was said. I didn't curse...I didn't call people out...nothing of the kind. And for people to be that butthurt over 1 lousy practice is grounds for me to move on.

    It's a balancing act no doubt. There are lessons to be learned at times, and other times it's best to stand your ground and walk away.
     
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  15. teletail

    teletail Tele-Meister

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    There’s nothing wrong with being vocal if you are willing to accept the consequences. I accepted a long ago that I don’t give a damn about climbing the corporate ladder. I’ve actually done pretty well, particularly considering my attitude.

    I was at my last job for 19 years. Made it all the way up to technical director despite the long hair and tattoos. You don’t like me? Kiss my @$$ or fire me, I don’t really care which. I don’t suck up and I don’t sugar coat it. As one of my managers used to say, keep me you down me one favor; fire me, you do me another favor.
     
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  16. jvin248

    jvin248 Poster Extraordinaire

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    That's it right there.

    OP: if you've been at the company for more than five years, and it's a generic corporate environment, your wages are likely behind the market. You'll see a wage bump in moving. Obviously it's not all risk free, if you hire in a new place and the economy goes bad you're the last in first out.

    Passion is the key to success.

    But in the end it's about the adventures along the way.

    .
     
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  17. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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    You have to ask and answer the question: What do you really want? If you really want a promotion, do what is necessary to get your promotion.

    Sometimes we don't have the visibility up that we think we do. Things from below seem evident, but on the next couple of floors new complexity is visible and the guy shouting below is actually kind of annoying because he is barking about things that aren't actually the main thing.

    I don't expect that comment to be received well necessarily, but I have been on both sides of it and I felt humbled when I did rise and 'the stupid' was different from what I thought.

    I've had mostly great bosses and great organizations to work for in my work life. I have friends and relatives who have only worked for Aholes and stupid organizations... funny how that works.

    Another issue is that after a couple of passes, you need to move. They have decided and undeciding would take A LOT of work when you could simply adjust, shift and proceed. Don't be afraid to reinvent yourself. If the wheel is rolling over you, YOU are the rut, you need to get in a different spot or start enjoying the pressure of the wheel.
     
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  18. Lonn

    Lonn Friend of Leo's

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    My wife is not "too vocal" by any means. Her biggest problem at work is that she actually works at work and expects others to do the same, which is no way to actually get ahead at work. That, and she's an over educated foreign woman in a male dominated American heavy transmission company. She makes good money, more than 3 times my salary, but she still feels looked down upon. Pays the bills so she deals with it and she's got an awesome husband that listens to everything. :cool:
     
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  19. rad1

    rad1 Tele-Afflicted

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    Did you ever ask them why the first time, or the second time?
     
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  20. boris bubbanov

    boris bubbanov Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    So, go back and see what it is you do so well, in the position you are in, that maybe make higher ups think you're indispensable at that level.

    +

    My Dad kept sabotaging The Corporation's efforts to kick him up into management. The thing was, he loved preliminary design of airplanes and air cushion vehicles and telescopes and missile guidance systems. That was way more fun, than what awaited him further up the ladder. And those fellow employees who followed their impulses and climbed up the ladder, looked back at the engineer who was still doing what he came there to do. And many of them were jealous. Because Doug got to draw up the airplanes from scratch and that was what they had wanted to do when they were 8 or 9. Not boss people around.

    +

    So, think about what it is you do each day, and see the value it that. I think being Overlord over other people was the worst part of what I did for a living. My brother in law is a brilliant thermo-dynamicist but the companies figure, with all his years of employ there and at similar (Digital, AMD, etc) that someone younger should be figuring out ways of getting the heat out of tiny micro-assemblies. They pay him more to do things he's less suited to do. Nevermind what "people" say about which jobs are above what other jobs. That's mostly a bunch of hooey.
     
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