Our delicate human psyche....

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by getbent, Jul 2, 2020.

  1. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

    Posts:
    39,598
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2006
    Location:
    San Benito County, California
    We recently had a death in the family. With all that is going on, the past few months have been, well, crazy and really, the last 5 years have been a constant grind, expense and emotional toll. (not writing this for a response to that, all good here and after another week or two all the paperwork and that stuff will be done too.)

    No, the gist of this thread is about the cleansing of stuff... the going through someone else's life (for the second time) and sorting their things and determining what to keep and what to sell is no fun.

    What is FUN is selling stuff on offerup and facebook marketplace. This is the point of the thread... many of the things that I am selling, I bought for this person, and I am taking huge losses on the items, but handing new people these things and getting cash money... it is PURE joy. today I sold an iphone to a nice lady and her daughter and they were so excited at the price and condition, and I had some nice money in my hands and it was just JOY. My wife and I are planning to sell whole collections of southwestern 'stuff' this weekend and we are SO looking forward to it...

    I wonder what it is about the human psyche that goes from grief to joy so dramatically even when one considers the losses that the sales contain?

    Or maybe it is just me!
     
    Stubee, tery, Jakedog and 3 others like this.
  2. Buckocaster51

    Buckocaster51 Super Moderator Staff Member Ad Free Member

    Age:
    68
    Posts:
    21,035
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2005
    Location:
    Iowa USA
    Admin Post
    It’s probably just you. ;)

    Collecting stuff is enjoyable

    Disposal of stuff is enjoyable. Seeing stuff go to a good home is what it is about. 9 months in to being motherless, most of her stuff has been dispersed. We hope it is bringing joy in the new homes.
     
    Jakedog and getbent like this.
  3. fretWalkr

    fretWalkr Tele-Meister

    Posts:
    224
    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2019
    Location:
    DFW
    Glad you can find an upside. I don't enjoy selling stuff so when I went thru that (cleaning out a house and later an apartment) it was just emotionally and physically exhausting.
     
    Danb541 and getbent like this.
  4. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

    Posts:
    39,598
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2006
    Location:
    San Benito County, California
    First we moved her out of her house about 2 years later than should have happened... a lifetime of stuff, stifling heat and the freak out... then, the stuff now, less, but more burdensome... what is cool is how excited people are who are getting it... and the hundred dollar bills that we collect are kind of weirdly fun somehow.. I know it is just 'coping' or whatever... I sold a phone today that I bought, then last night 'unlocked' and prepped and the lady and her daughter were SOOO happy...

    things are better in the world than in a box or stored in some place...
     
    Jakedog and fretWalkr like this.
  5. don71

    don71 Tele-Afflicted

    Posts:
    1,648
    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2009
    Location:
    Central Missouri
    I feel in general, dispatching a loved ones remaining possessions a taxing experience. It probably reflects more on me, than the previous owner or the quality of the items. I find selling things abominable.

    I'm happy to read you and others find some joy or at least solace in the process. Happy days to you all.
     
  6. Joe M

    Joe M Super Moderator Staff Member

    Posts:
    3,196
    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    Location:
    Michigan
    Admin Post
    I think about all the "stuff" that my kids are gonna have to get rid of when we're gone, and I apologize to them ahead of time....
     
    Jakedog likes this.
  7. Engine Swap

    Engine Swap Tele-Holic

    Posts:
    550
    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2014
    Location:
    Chicago
    When my dad passed 2 years ago, my siblings and I conducted an estate sale to sell the contents of the house. Our goal was to get the house empty, not get rich.

    When met a ton of nice folks and witnessed first hand how my dad's stuff made other people happy.

    This included the following:
    • The family who bought his livingroom set and fit it all in the bed of their truck
    • The hipsters who bought all his old spray paint
    • The guy who got his autographed Bill Melton photo and was overjoyed
    • The lady who bought all the music books for her school
    Also, there were a lot of friends, neighbors, and townfolk who related stories about my dad.

    Going into the sale, I wasn't sure how I'd feel emotionally, but it turned out to be an extremely positive experience.
     
    getbent likes this.
  8. Musekatcher

    Musekatcher Friend of Leo's

    Posts:
    2,594
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2013
    Location:
    meridianam altum centralis
    I always had a collector/asset mindset: it has to be liquid-able for the amount I pay, or more. After decades of collecting stuff, I can tell you some stuff will increase in value, but some stuff will loose value. SO, you may have to look at liquidating as a philanthropic service, i.e, its going to a deserving good home, and is a charitable gesture. Which is code for "I accept taking a loss", lol. Its all good. I've finally come to grips with it, and even giving stuff away now to the right folk. Overall, I'll net out a gain - I've beaten the casino of collector life so to speak.
     
    Mad Kiwi and getbent like this.
  9. telleutelleme

    telleutelleme Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

    Posts:
    19,453
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2010
    Location:
    Houston
    I don't look forward to my children having to unload our stuff; which is what will happen. Many things have significant personal value to my wife and I, but will be unloaded for whatever they will bring. Some things have minimal value and will probably be discarded. My wife started to take things to a couple of charity resale shops and we have started to unload some things; getting a small percentage of the sales. Hasn't made it to my gear yet.
     
  10. black_doug

    black_doug Friend of Leo's

    Age:
    63
    Posts:
    2,322
    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2004
    Location:
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    I'm going this right now as well. Mom lived to see her 100th birthday. We knew her heart needed a valve job but she opted out because of the risk. She lasted til June 11. Otherwise her health was good for an old gal. Her mind was alert and active to the last. She stayed in the house my two brothers and I grew up in. Champagne was opened after the funeral.

    Now though, money's starting to come in. Everything is being divided three ways.

    And now I get to do the house-sitting. I've been living in a shared room in a house without ac for two years so you can imagine how happy I am about that. As I type this now I'm surrounded by all her stuff.

    The first thing we did was cancel the cable, internet, and home phone bundle.
    Today I had my own internet moved and installed my brand new Amazon fire tv cube.
     
    getbent and Mike Eskimo like this.
  11. chet again

    chet again Tele-Afflicted

    Age:
    65
    Posts:
    1,928
    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2019
    Location:
    iowa
    Whoever inherits my stuff will probably be pretty happy. That's all I'd better say. LOL!

    My condolences and sorry to hear of your loss.
     
    getbent likes this.
  12. John Backlund

    John Backlund Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

    Posts:
    5,154
    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2003
    Location:
    South Dakota
    After my father-in-law in Iowa passed away about two months ago, we cleaned out a ton of stuff from the basement of the house they built on their acreage about ten years ago. He would purchase all manner of items, mostly handtools, etc. online, then stash them, still in their unopened cartons, down in their basement. My mother-in-law wanted none of it, gave it all to us, and sent us home to South Dakota with a pickup truck full of that stuff, with the intention of us selling most of it in our annual community-wide garage sale being held a week after we returned home.

    We made about $1200 in one easy day of sitting there, drinking ice tea, and letting lots of people hand us cash for stuff. Of course, we also had many of our unused items in the mix too.

    I gave away a halfway decent acoustic guitar to a fourteen years old girl who wanted a guitar to learn on, but didn't have the money, so (wonderful guy that I am ;) ...I asked her if she liked it, which she did, and I told her it was hers and to just take it. She, and her mother, were thrilled, and maybe I helped create a new superstar, who knows?

    My wife's mother will be selling her Iowa acreage and moving out to the Rapid City area to be closer to us.
     
    getbent and Toto'sDad like this.
  13. 68tele

    68tele Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

    Posts:
    2,327
    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Northport NY
    The joy of putting stuff into the hands of someone who needs it = helper's high
     
    getbent and Toto'sDad like this.
  14. MickM

    MickM Friend of Leo's Platinum Supporter

    Age:
    63
    Posts:
    4,834
    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Location:
    A steel guitar engagment.
    Wish I lived closer, I love south western "stuff".
     
    getbent likes this.
  15. chet again

    chet again Tele-Afflicted

    Age:
    65
    Posts:
    1,928
    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2019
    Location:
    iowa
    My cousin's daughter perished in a terrible car accident a few years ago. She was driving on a rural highway and some knucklehead was in a hurry, ran into her and made her wreck.

    She was in her 30s and had just graduated from college and (I thought) could have had a bright future. A single mother with several kids. She made bad choices on people she had relationships with. Her last one apparently was abusive and took money from her.

    It was sad to see her Mom and daughter pack up what little she possessed from the house she had rented. Last I heard the family had won a settlement from the guy's estate who ran into her so I hope my cousin's grand daughter who was living with her and seemed to be closest to her comes out OK.
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2020
    getbent and black_doug like this.
  16. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

    Posts:
    45,592
    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Location:
    Bakersfield
    When my son died, I helped locate and sell off work stuff of his, I kind of know what you are talking about. My son was never a "detail" man when it came to possessions. He "lost" a dump truck, and never bothered to find it. I manage to track it down, and get twenty five hundred actual cash dollars from the guy who had it. The laws of this state stated it could no longer be licensed for the highway because of the diesel engine it had, but the guy that had it was using it on a large ranch for various off road duties. When I got the money and gave it to my daughter in law, I felt great joy in being able to give her some money that I literally kicked up out of the dust that in a way was already hers.
     
    getbent likes this.
  17. tery

    tery Doctor of Teleocity

    Posts:
    10,545
    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2012
    Location:
    Tennessee
    The Phoenix Bird rising from the ashes of loss gives us joy in the renewal of life .
     
    Toto'sDad and getbent like this.
  18. stxrus

    stxrus Poster Extraordinaire

    Age:
    68
    Posts:
    5,053
    Joined:
    May 25, 2007
    Location:
    St. Croix, USVI
    Sort of in the same vein. I literally almost gave away an almost new Ocean Kayak, paddle, two PFDs, and seat/backrest to a guy that gave it to his young son for a birthday last week. I haven’t used it in years and am looking to offload a bunch of dead weight. I wish I could have seen the kid’s face when dad rolled with the kayak in the bed of his pickup.
     
    black_doug likes this.
IMPORTANT: Treat everyone here with respect, no matter how difficult!
No sex, drug, political, religion or hate discussion permitted here.