Original Song

Discussion in 'Twanger Central' started by MDent77, Oct 23, 2019.

  1. MDent77

    MDent77 Tele-Afflicted

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    I sat down at the keyboard this morning and wrote this spontaneously. Curious of any thoughts on the melody, phrasing or any general comments.

     
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  2. Alan L Cole

    Alan L Cole Tele-Afflicted

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    Has a Broadway musical vibe in the beginning for me Michael, which is not a criticism. The vibe changes for me with the doubled vocals and onwards, which I really like. Nice track overall.
     
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  3. MDent77

    MDent77 Tele-Afflicted

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    Thanks for the feedback Alan.

    I am going to develop it a bit more by introducing acoustic and electric guitars. While sitting at the keys I was searching for a specific mood. I gravitated toward keyboard patches that may have been common in the 80's (from the Cars to Richard Marx). Heh But it captured my emotion and inspired me singing the vocal lines.
     
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  4. ponce

    ponce Tele-Holic

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    Good job, I like it very much. Very nice 80s atmosphere and great vocals.
     
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  5. MDent77

    MDent77 Tele-Afflicted

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    Thanks and appreciate you listening.
     
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  6. ponce

    ponce Tele-Holic

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    I'll be following. Do you have other stuff?
     
  7. MDent77

    MDent77 Tele-Afflicted

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    Thank you.

    I do have a lot of material yet still organizing the songs. I am working with another musician who has experience as a producer so I may re-record everything (and wear less hats).


    I did add an electric bass and simple guitar part.

     
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  8. 57fenderstrat

    57fenderstrat Tele-Meister

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    Sounds good , I’m a sucker for string synth Sus chord kind of stuff. Cool sounds on the synth lead part too
     
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  9. Mjark

    Mjark Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    Sounds to me like you're still searching for the melody. It needs to open up at some point but never does.
     
  10. MDent77

    MDent77 Tele-Afflicted

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    Yeah Sus chords are a favorite of mine as well. I'm always searching for different voicings. I love synth strings but may layer some kind of pad along with it.

    I don't hear the melody in the chorus being memorable. I need to develop it further and have it build at the end. I'll probably add female background vocals.

    Thanks for listening.
     
  11. ponce

    ponce Tele-Holic

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    It's taking shape, very good! I'm too new on mixing process myself so I can't comment on it and be accurate, but I like the overall feel and the arrangement, sounds..
    I hear a lot of good stuff in it. Something in the line of:







    My gf likes it too.;)
    Vocals are top notch. Maybe restrict guitars a bit to some thought out lines. All in all, it's a pity we're not in the 80's, this would be a hit.

    I'm in the middle of something like that myself. My first attempt at keys, production and mixing, after the years of playing guitar exclusively.
     
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  12. fendrguitplayr

    fendrguitplayr Poster Extraordinaire

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    It perhaps could use a cool hook somewhere. Maybe a chorus or before a modulation or ?
     
  13. MDent77

    MDent77 Tele-Afflicted

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    Yeah, I'm going to work on writing another song and then go back fresh to see if an idea springs up.

    Thanks for listening.
     
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  14. Alan L Cole

    Alan L Cole Tele-Afflicted

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    It's sounding good to me Michael. Nice guitar track.
     
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