1. Win a Broadcaster or one of 3 Teles! The annual Supporting Member Giveaway is on. To enter Click Here. To see all the prizes and full details Click Here. To view the thread about the giveaway Click Here.

Open Letter From Scott Weiland's ex-wife

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Bones, Dec 8, 2015.

  1. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

    Posts:
    49,083
    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Location:
    Bakersfield
    You don't have to be a rock star to be the kind of dad Scott was. My old man had Irish Alzheimer's. He forgot everything and everyone except for the grudges in his life. Still, I hope he didn't die alone. At least Scott's kids and ex-wife know where he's at. Hope doesn't die all at once, not after you've been indulging in it for years. I'm sorry for his family. In some strange way, even sorrier for him.
     
  2. tap4154

    tap4154 Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Posts:
    10,684
    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2009
    Location:
    Southern California
    Actually the timing is perfect IMHO. It's not a hate letter, it's the truth she lived, and publishing it so soon after his death guaranteed it would be widely read, rather than doing it years from now when few would care. And perhaps it will change some lives.
     
  3. Bones

    Bones Telefied Ad Free Member

    Posts:
    22,142
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Location:
    Luddite Island, NY

    Well your opinion is valid as an opinion based on looking at things from the outside, which is how we form a lot of opinions every day.

    However, just like anything else, you really cannot imagine what it's like on the inside looking out.

    Having grown up for the first 15 year of my life with a father who was addicted to alcohol and pain killers and the fits of rage that came with it, I can tell you firsthand, none of my friends who had normal parents had any idea what it was like growing up in that house. Ever come home from a class trip to find the contents of your bedroom out on the front lawn because you didn't clean your room as good as you were supposed to before you left? Ever been at sleepover party at a friend's house only to have your "dad" show up drunk at 2 a.m.and drag you out of their by your hair because you left your fishing pole leaning up against the side of the garage like you were told not to do 10,000 times? How a bout a dad who threatened to kill you over 50 times and once actually tried to throw you over the balcony of a hotel? How about a dad who could be perfectly normal and kind "most" of the time. Trying growing up under those conditions.

    Apparently, my biological father has most of his demons in check now and has a quite successful life in another part of the country and has made somewhat of a fortune for himself and his new wife and no one knows about his son that he hasn't seen in almost 30 years.
     
  4. RoscoeElegante

    RoscoeElegante Friend of Leo's

    Posts:
    4,375
    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2015
    Location:
    TooFarFromCanada
    All due respect for the man's struggle with his inner demons. And for everyone's imperfections and even serious flaws. I sure don't know how honestly he struggled, or how cravenly he caved.

    But if you're not a parent to your kids....

    And I dunno know what "good taste" his ex deserves given what he apparently put her and, especially, their kids through. Plus, she's right about how often this kind of public self-destruction is still so sickly glamorized. Suffering for one's art, okay. But making your own children suffer, for anything?

    Reminds me of a Dylan lyric, from his outtake/bootlegged version of "Jokerman":

    Scratchin' the world with a fine-toothed comb
    You're a king among nations
    But you're a stranger at home
     
  5. william tele

    william tele Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Posts:
    19,214
    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2009
    Location:
    Kansas City, MO
    Bones...it's an internet forum. It's not technically a child abuse support group. I, for one, am very sorry for the torture you and Mike had to endure...but trying to tell someone their opinion isn't qualified because they had a decent father?:rolleyes:

    That falls into another category...
     
  6. sbpark

    sbpark Friend of Leo's

    Posts:
    4,021
    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2009
    Location:
    The West
    I applaud her for being blunt and honest. Personally, I feel if you have children then that becomes your absolute, without a doubt #1 priority in this world, hands down. You no longer come first, since your children now come before everything else. This is probably the main reason I decided to not have children. I am responsible enough to know that I am irresponsible enough not to be raising a child! I have no respect for parents who do not take care of their children, period. You have a choice whether or not to bring a child into the world. It's not like it just happens. If you become a parent you need to step up and assume responsibility, otherwise you're a scumbag. Nothing she said in her letter was wrong, in poor taste, etc. It's the truth as she sees it, and sometimes people don't want to hear it. At the same token, there is a small part of me that wonders how he was when he met his ex-wife. Was he an addict back then, having problems and just as unstable? And if so, why would she knowingly go into a relationship with someone like that, let alone have children with a person in that condition. Again, not pointing fingers, just asking questions that will probably never be fully answered.
     
  7. Jakedog

    Jakedog Telefied Ad Free Member

    Posts:
    21,228
    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2003
    Location:
    The North Coast

    Many people get into relationships because they see a person's inner good, genius, spirit, and honestly believe they can help that person pull out of the dive and realize their potential. Sometimes, it works. I've seen it happen, too.

    Sometimes people have kids in those situations because for most people, it's a life changing experience. It can bring a desire for focus and stability that can't be achieved as effectively through any other means. Often, that works. Just as often, it doesn't. Sad, but true.

    I'm still not who I'd ideally like to be. But if I hadn't had kids, I'd be at least eleven times the mess I am now. I'm a work in progress. And they are what keeps me working. Without them, I honestly don't think I'd give a crap what happened to me.
     
  8. Deckard

    Deckard Tele-Afflicted

    Posts:
    1,668
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2014
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Just for reference you should never negate someone's opinion on a subject because they don't talk about personal experiences on the subject matter with strangers on the Internet. Your opinion is just as valid as mine on anything.
     
  9. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

    Age:
    61
    Posts:
    26,367
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2010
    Location:
    Maine
    Agreed that sometimes having kids reprograms lifestyle and priorities, and in fact the whole idea of "settle down and raise a family" presumes that youth needs to be brought on track, and is naturally prone to havoc.

    Sadly when it doesn't work, if addiction is the havoc, guilt and shame may actually make it even harder to get back on track, to face all the harm and hurt already done.
     
  10. boyhowdy

    boyhowdy TDPRI Member

    Posts:
    72
    Joined:
    May 12, 2010
    Location:
    sf
    The titans in my life were/are the people who have showed up and helped ...
     
  11. Coop47

    Coop47 Poster Extraordinaire

    Posts:
    5,618
    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2009
    Location:
    Boston
    +1. Great post.
     
  12. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

    Age:
    61
    Posts:
    26,367
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2010
    Location:
    Maine
    I don't think the idea is to negate all outsides views, but to point out that an outsiders view is not the same as an insiders view.

    The majority of written commentary on subjects like addiction, child abuse, and rock star lifestyles, comes from outsiders, and thus much info is hearsay and speculation.

    If one seeks understanding on a subject, it behooves them to look at the source before programming the info into their opinion as being factual.

    OTOH there is nothing we can do to determine if a source IS speaking from direct personal experience, but is not ready to publicly proclaim there own involvement.
     
  13. Bones

    Bones Telefied Ad Free Member

    Posts:
    22,142
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Location:
    Luddite Island, NY
    Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man :D
     
  14. thunderbyrd

    thunderbyrd Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

    Age:
    62
    Posts:
    7,807
    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2004
    Location:
    central ky
    """Having grown up for the first 15 year of my life with a father who was addicted to alcohol and pain killers and the fits of rage that came with it, I can tell you firsthand, none of my friends who had normal parents had any idea what it was like growing up in that house. Ever come home from a class trip to find the contents of your bedroom out on the front lawn because you didn't clean your room as good as you were supposed to before you left? Ever been at sleepover party at a friend's house only to have your "dad" show up drunk at 2 a.m.and drag you out of their by your hair because you left your fishing pole leaning up against the side of the garage like you were told not to do 10,000 times? How a bout a dad who threatened to kill you over 50 times and once actually tried to throw you over the balcony of a hotel? How about a dad who could be perfectly normal and kind "most" of the time. Trying growing up under those conditions."""

    and it's really interesting when you grow up with a father who does stuff like this and he's NOT a drinker or drugger. when i was young, i did all kinds of crazy, bad stuff. know why? cause i knew i had a beating coming no matter what. it can be tricky to learn right from wrong under such.

    i think the woman was damn well within her rights to say anything she wanted. and now is the time to say, not after this has all receded from the fickle memory of the public.
     
  15. Deckard

    Deckard Tele-Afflicted

    Posts:
    1,668
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2014
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    LOL
     
  16. screamin eagle

    screamin eagle Poster Extraordinaire

    Posts:
    5,254
    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2008
    Location:
    S. CA
    I say bravo on the letter.

    If people want use and abuse, well I'm not usually judgmental, so make your choices and live with the consequences, good or bad. But bring children in this world and you have now imposed a certain responsibility on yourself, whether you want it or not. I say, man up and do what's right for the children, if there is time left over after that to indulge, and you think you can not have it impact your children...again I have my convictions, but I'm not gonna judge.

    But man up for the children.

    I get the rock star frontman thing, and in our society there is a certain gravitas that gets attached to the good ones, but forsaking your family/children for it...that is misguided, selfish and egregiously thoughtless.

    Mick Jagger ain't no saint, but he's attempted to be a professional. Keith too.
     
  17. surfoverb

    surfoverb Doctor of Teleocity

    Posts:
    12,390
    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2007
    Location:
    Virginia
    i didnt know he married mary forsberg.
    she was one of the hottest of the heroin chic models
    love that girl!
     
  18. Dan German

    Dan German Doctor of Teleocity

    Posts:
    11,249
    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2008
    Location:
    Left of the Left Coast
    Put me down for a "bravo" as well. To me, the letter seems aimed more at the machinery that perpetuates such behaviour, and the cult of celebrity that oils that machinery, than at Weiland himself. Although, it certainly doesn't let him off the hook for his choices. My heart goes out to those close to him who must be in a new kind of pain from that his lifestyle put them through already.
     
  19. Zender

    Zender Tele-Meister

    Posts:
    283
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2015
    Location:
    SC
    Having had experience with a close relative who loved drugs I can see and feel everything she spoke about. She is just being honest but honesty isn't allowed in this country.
     
  20. Custom Deluxe

    Custom Deluxe Tele-Afflicted

    Posts:
    1,174
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2010
    Location:
    Califon, NJ
    Wrong post
     
IMPORTANT: Treat everyone here with respect, no matter how difficult!
No sex, drug, political, religion or hate discussion permitted here.