Observations from a guest musicians or how not to be a jerk

[beatnik]

So I was asked to fill in for Xmas eve at a local large church and here are some secret shopper type thoughts from rehearsal.

1. If running IEM personal monitors, run a full sound check so your guest can get their levels and figure out where everyone is on the board.

2. Have the charts and keys lined up on your planning center of choice. Don’t say key of Ebm and have charts for D major.

2a. Have good charts that make melodic sense and not some crummy chart that tin ear charlie wrote in fugue on stormy night. Proof your charts.

2b. If you change keys 5 days before the rehearsal because you ran the tune with your regular gang of musicians, let your guest know especially if the song you change features their instrument in the intro.

3. If your guest came in with a load, e.g amp, pedal board, gig bag, flugelhorn, ask if they need help out don’t just say bye Felicia and leave them in the sanctuary to figure how the heck to get out without leaving gear in a locked church. If they say they don’t need help, chat them up and then hold the door for them as they leave. It costs you nothing and keeps your guest from griping on social media about how your church is a bunch of, well, my momma said not to say that euphemism for the male member.

4. If I ever mention playing at another church, would someone please get me held on a psych hold b/c plainly I have gone mad.

For those of you who are good hosts, thank you. And this post is not for you. It is for my mental health and so I don’t say something stupid Xmas eve. Because I really want to say something stupid.

 

[Grenville]

Man, I had that sort of thing happen at my own church, let alone when I was guest at someone else's!

I did do a guest spot at another church a couple of Christmases ago. What I was told to expect and what it was actually like were two different things.

"Bring your whole self, your specific musical dialect, that particular flavor that is uniquely yours."

Later: "Oh, we're gonna get cranky if you deviate from doing exactly what the other guy did on the demos we sent you".

Kinda first world problems, but I didn't enjoy myself. On the other hand, it was bliss compared to my last Christmas rehearsal at my own church the year prior.

 

[beatnik]

Man, I had that sort of thing happen at my own church, let alone when I was guest at someone else's!

I did do a guest spot at another church a couple of Christmases ago. What I was told to expect and what it was actually like were two different things.

"Bring your whole self, your specific musical dialect, that particular flavor that is uniquely yours."

Later: "Oh, we're gonna get cranky if you deviate from doing exactly what the other guy did on the demos we sent you".

Kinda first world problems, but I didn't enjoy myself. On the other hand, it was bliss compared to my last Christmas rehearsal at my own church the year prior.

I am so glad I’m not alone!

We should start a fraternity just without the dues, house, and debauchery.

Yeah, every Sunday I played at my home church it was the old song of “excuse me, coming through, oh man I hope I don’t break the glass door with a case as I’m trying to leave”. And watching the singers drop their mic and bail faster than the last guy left on the titanic.

That is one of the straws that caused me to quit playing in church. Honestly, I have been treated with more courtesy and kindness in the biker bars I play at. Guys will hold doors, make a hole without being asked, and make room if I’m setting up or tearing down.

Simple kindness, sadly in my experience sometimes it is not so top of mind.

 

[budglo]

Ha. I’m the old guy in the band… 64. Coming and going I always have my hand full, guitar in case, pedalboard and Bible tucked under my arm. Do you think anyone would hold the door for me coming in or going out? Nope. I usually have to either use my foot to push the door open or set my guitar down, push the door open and try to sneak through before the door closes. Total unawareness abounds.

 

[Preacher]

Man I wish I was there to help.

Anytime I am in charge and have guest musicians I am there to make sure load in and set up go smoothly. I guess since I am a musician I abide by the Golden Rule.

Do to others as you would have them do to you. It doesn't happen often but occasionally when it does it is great!

 

[JuneauMike]

Yeah, often church musicians aren't that immersed in the practices and habits of gigging musicians. They could use some grace too. Not too much, just a little bit.

 

[SBClose]

Well Mike, at least you have a list of things that you'll never allow to happen in an environment you're able to influence.

Budglo, Your story makes me sad and angry. Easy for me to say but, if I saw this happening at my church I'd interrupt a conversation, touch someone on the arm and say, "Please go help that man get his stuff to his car"...and they would.
As you're passing through the foyer or lobby with your arms full of rig, eyeball somebody and ask for help! First, sometimes people need a little help pulling their heads out of their rears. Second, you have every right to EXPECT some courtesy. Last, I read somewhere that the fastest way to make a friend is to ask someone for a favor. You could wind up with an opportunity develop a new relationship.

 

[PastorJay]

. . . I did do a guest spot at another church a couple of Christmases ago. What I was told to expect and what it was actually like were two different things.

"Bring your whole self, your specific musical dialect, that particular flavor that is uniquely yours."

Later: "Oh, we're gonna get cranky if you deviate from doing exactly what the other guy did on the demos we sent you".
. . .

I had this happen to me on a recording project where I was helping out another church with music for their online services. The music director would tell me one thing and the guy who was mixing the sound for the recordings would tell me something else. And the person making the videos would tell me something else entirely--or not tell me anything at all until he didn't like what I did.

Eventually the easiest thing to do was quit doing it.

In their defense, and I've known all these people for years, the video editor wasn't being paid, and the guy mixing the music (normally the worship band's guitarist) was being severely underpaid for the extra work he did to pull that online service together. But my frustration level was high enough that the best thing for me was just to stop sending them tracks.

 

[Jakeboy]

Wow…just wow.

I am so, so, happy with how our lraisetam has matured. I honestly wouldn’t change a thing except adding an extra half hour to our rehearsal…not because we need it per se, I am just loving pla6ing in this band.

 

[hotraman]

Hmm
Sorry that you went through all of that.
But I think you're spot on.
I'm older and only play as a "guest" for churches /pastors that I know.
I'm usually treated with respect, especially if I'm bringing my pedal steel.
But .. there has been times when no one, after the service, came up and said "thanks" for helping out. No help getting my gear off the stage.
I've decided to cut back on the church requests that I am invited to.
I'd rather have the time off.

 

[Ascension]

Can't count the times exactly what you describe has happened to me as a set in player in Churches. It always sucks.
Have however been blessed over the last few years to do several community worship events where this was not the case here in the Birmingham Alabama area. Events where we were from many different places many times never playing with each other before that event. Three in particular that were pure joys to play. Events where we were a band of brothers and worked very well together. Those 3 events I will never forget and I have them set up to share from my recordings.

 

[TelePickler]

Team-wise, I'm very blessed with helpful colleagues. But there is one point that HEAVILY resounds with me...

make a hole without being asked

I've been at church all morning. Rehearsing, playing 1st service, playing 2nd service, and I'm hot, hungry, and exhausted. All I want is one aisle clear so that I can get myself, guitar, and pedalboard out the door and home to lunch and a nap.