teletail
Friend of Leo's
The best bike is the one you want, not the one someone else wants you to like.
New guy here, but may be gone soon?
- Thread starter hondasurf92
- Start date
It's really quite simple...
You don't act or think like a musician.
You are not a musician. You are someone who plays occasionally.
A musician is someone with skills that have been honed over several years of playing. In the lean times, a musician looks to better their craft and skills by learning new songs and techniques to stay fit and be ready for the next opportunity.
From what I'm reading here, you want the opportunities, and then you'll consider improving your skills. Until you start acting like a musician, no one will see you as such, not even your self.
This is a decision. Not a set of circumstances that govern your life. If you want to be a musician, then do what is necessary and be ready to show up prepared for your opportunities. It's not easy, but it is required.
Creating circumstances is pointless if you don't have the chops to back it up. Become a musician, and do what musicians do, and others will view you that way. Then, through some effort, things will begin to fall into place, in whatever form that takes.
Right now, you're simply well wishing.
You don't act or think like a musician.
You are not a musician. You are someone who plays occasionally.
A musician is someone with skills that have been honed over several years of playing. In the lean times, a musician looks to better their craft and skills by learning new songs and techniques to stay fit and be ready for the next opportunity.
From what I'm reading here, you want the opportunities, and then you'll consider improving your skills. Until you start acting like a musician, no one will see you as such, not even your self.
This is a decision. Not a set of circumstances that govern your life. If you want to be a musician, then do what is necessary and be ready to show up prepared for your opportunities. It's not easy, but it is required.
Creating circumstances is pointless if you don't have the chops to back it up. Become a musician, and do what musicians do, and others will view you that way. Then, through some effort, things will begin to fall into place, in whatever form that takes.
Right now, you're simply well wishing.
BuckNekkid
Tele-Holic
You know what I'm reading? "Mid-life crisis." Don't take offense, everyone goes through it.
You can buy a lot of (acoustic) guitar for $300. Plus, add a stand ($20) and keep it in your living room. Then, when you have the urge, pick it up and play.
I went through this phase a number of years ago. Playing music just wasn't on my radar. Today, I have three guitars within arm's reach, two acoustics and a Tele. I play every day, and don't even think about it. I glance at a guitar and then just reach for it. Sometimes it's for five minutes, sometimes for an hour.
This.
You can buy a lot of (acoustic) guitar for $300. Plus, add a stand ($20) and keep it in your living room. Then, when you have the urge, pick it up and play.
I went through this phase a number of years ago. Playing music just wasn't on my radar. Today, I have three guitars within arm's reach, two acoustics and a Tele. I play every day, and don't even think about it. I glance at a guitar and then just reach for it. Sometimes it's for five minutes, sometimes for an hour.
It takes many hours of effort to learn to play well. I would play literally 2-3 hours every day when I first started at 16. I was ok enough to fake my way through high school jazz band after a year because I practiced a lot and I had a couple good private teachers and already a couple years in piano and drum lessons. I wasn't "good" by any means.
If it's not fun enough for you to put in hundreds of hours, you'll never be good. We all suck until we put in the time.
If it's not fun enough for you to put in hundreds of hours, you'll never be good. We all suck until we put in the time.
If it were me, I would keep a guitar and amp so if the right situation pops up, you will be ready. You don't want to be in a situation where you hit it off with someone who wants to jam and you have to say "Great, just let me order some gear cuz I don't have a guitar or amp". That sentence simply does not instill confidence in other players.
Ok, so it sounds like you may have come to a decision, but I wanted to add my $0.02 anyway, in case it's helpful. Because I completely understand the first post. It sounds like there are really two separate - but connected - issues here. One is the eternal question: "What is the point of this?" The second issue sounds a little more like plain-old loneliness to me. You miss the camaraderie and fun of hanging out with friends. I moved away from most of my IRL friends a couple of years ago, so if there's a good solution to that part, I'm all ears.
As to the first question, though, I've struggled with that too. I have also sold all my gear and "quit" music altogether a couple of times. Looking back, I think the trouble was that "musician" was my identity (I started playing at 10, and it was huge for me until about 21). But I was never very good, especially with writing my own stuff. So, once it slowly became clear that I was never going to "be" a musician, it was like a part of me was dying. I didn't know how to transmute music from an identity into a hobby.
It took 15+ years, but I finally realized what I needed was an attitude adjustment. When I was young, music was ART that you poured your heart and soul into. The idea of playing cover songs with a bunch of old guys on the weekends, as a brief escape from your regular 9-5, sounded impossibly lame to me. Like you had given up on life or something. Now, I am doing exactly that and it's a BLAST! I'm having fun. It's a hobby, and I'm having fun. The truth is that I DID give up on my dream, and I'm enjoying myself more now. Who cares if 19-year-old me would think I'm cool?
Anyway, I know this is not the exact issue OP mentioned, but I do think the lesson of the attitude adjustment applies. Sometimes, you really can deliberately change your perspective on things, and it can work. If you want to keep playing (and that's a fair question to ask), you may need to make the choice to change "Music is what I do to have fun with friends" to "Music is how I relax" or "Music is what I do to express myself" or "Music is how I stretch and grow" or any number of other things. What music is to you is not set in stone, and your attitude about it can seriously affect your experience, for good or ill.
I suggest you find a local teacher and take lessons for at least a year before deciding to quit altogether. The lessons themselves will provide a focus and give a sense of purpose to playing at home. And the added ability./knowledge you gain from the lessons might help you feel like there's more purpose in your playing even when you're not working on a lesson.
RCinMempho
Friend of Leo's
I second the teacher. If you can't get a local teacher, you can do live video lessons over the internet. I prefer that because there is no travel time. Sit down, turn on the computer, lesson. If would be happy to recommend my teacher. Message me if you are interested.
Rockinvet
Friend of Leo's
Try just messing with recording yourself and playing along with it. Or even using tracks, they are cheap and just play along to your favorite songs. All you need is a little motivation. it’s something you may not have tried yet. You can get free recording software online so no expense there. Its something you may not have done to peak your interest. If that doesn’t work well at least you did something different.
There's an accordion hanging in a pawn shop somewhere with your name on it.
Creaulx
TDPRI Member
You got that right - if I were in it for fame, fortune, or recognition, I'd have quit before I started. When you start realizing the amount of time you have - or might have - left, it's a pretty good motivator.
Oldskoolm4
TDPRI Member
I went through probably five years or so of not really playing. Did the band and gig thing for awhile, which I really enjoyed. Always loved music, and can talk about it for hours. Had a good collection of gear. Sold all the “big” amps and a couple guitars, but kept a practice amp and my favorite Strat to still play here and there. Glad I did. I thought I didn’t have time, due to cycling and motocross, friends with family duty, all the excuses.
One day, my wife went to brunch with her friends and slightly hungover, decided to play. Cranked the amp up after awhile and couldn’t remember why I wasn’t really playing anymore.
Since then I play around four nights a week, this was six years ago or so. Bought more gear over the years, but honestly my favorite setup is my American Professional Tele and Fender Mustang GT 2 200w amp. I’d like an AC15, but for what I’m doing, this sounds great. Loud or low as I could like. I’ll grab a beer, look up some chords or tabs, play something off memory or make some loops to jam with. There’s a bunch of drum tracks out there too. Always enjoy and look forward to it, that’s the point right?
One day, my wife went to brunch with her friends and slightly hungover, decided to play. Cranked the amp up after awhile and couldn’t remember why I wasn’t really playing anymore.
Since then I play around four nights a week, this was six years ago or so. Bought more gear over the years, but honestly my favorite setup is my American Professional Tele and Fender Mustang GT 2 200w amp. I’d like an AC15, but for what I’m doing, this sounds great. Loud or low as I could like. I’ll grab a beer, look up some chords or tabs, play something off memory or make some loops to jam with. There’s a bunch of drum tracks out there too. Always enjoy and look forward to it, that’s the point right?
El Tele Lobo
Poster Extraordinaire
Maybe try acoustic or solo electric. I've been pouring myself pretty heavily into solo jazz chord melody stuff this past year and it's really helped grow my chord knowledge and confidence as a player.
If you absolutely have to play/work with others to be creative, maybe consider a duo or trio situation, a songwriting partnership or attending local jam sessions/open mic nights. Back in the mid 90s I was a frustrated rock and metal player and started attending blues jams just to get some experience playing out with others...opened me up to a whole new genre and my playing grew by leaps and bounds for awhile. Sometimes what we plan to pursue musically is not where we end up. Good luck.
If you absolutely have to play/work with others to be creative, maybe consider a duo or trio situation, a songwriting partnership or attending local jam sessions/open mic nights. Back in the mid 90s I was a frustrated rock and metal player and started attending blues jams just to get some experience playing out with others...opened me up to a whole new genre and my playing grew by leaps and bounds for awhile. Sometimes what we plan to pursue musically is not where we end up. Good luck.
tlsmack
Tele-Afflicted
I'm a tone junkie who can't play a lick. Just give me a couple of drive pedals and a halfway decent amp and I can amuse my self for hours. I have no desire to join a band or play for others, I just like to make loud chaotic noises sometimes bordering on music. As my pro singer/songwriter friend said "You know everything about guitar and nothing about music."
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bottleupandgo
TDPRI Member
Didn't read the whole thread, but I totally get where the OP is coming from. I really don't like to have expensive stuff sitting around the house that is getting very little use.
Just wanted to say that, unless you have to have certain brands or high-end gear (nothing wrong in loving good gear), budget gear has come a long way. Squire, Harley Benton, Stagg, Vintage, etc. It may not be perfect right out of the box, but with some TLC, it can become more than serviceable. Amps and pedals too. You may not get roadworthy quality, but just for home use, a lot of the budget stuff sounds really good. And if it breaks down, you just get another piece. Buy this stuff second hand, and you can get a full rig that sounds good for very little money.
For the record: I have done this myself. I play a modded Stagg T-style guitar (plays and sounds fantastic) and a modded Harley Benton S-style guitar (plays great, sounds ok – could do with different pickups), I use a mix of DIY, budget and normal-priced pedals, into a DV Mark Micro head and a no-name cabinet. Granted, my rig is low on pride of ownership, but I couldn't give a toss. The stuff sounds really good and has cost me a few hundred bucks in total. I get just as much joy of playing this as when I had a Fender, a Rivera and fancier pedals.
Just wanted to say that, unless you have to have certain brands or high-end gear (nothing wrong in loving good gear), budget gear has come a long way. Squire, Harley Benton, Stagg, Vintage, etc. It may not be perfect right out of the box, but with some TLC, it can become more than serviceable. Amps and pedals too. You may not get roadworthy quality, but just for home use, a lot of the budget stuff sounds really good. And if it breaks down, you just get another piece. Buy this stuff second hand, and you can get a full rig that sounds good for very little money.
For the record: I have done this myself. I play a modded Stagg T-style guitar (plays and sounds fantastic) and a modded Harley Benton S-style guitar (plays great, sounds ok – could do with different pickups), I use a mix of DIY, budget and normal-priced pedals, into a DV Mark Micro head and a no-name cabinet. Granted, my rig is low on pride of ownership, but I couldn't give a toss. The stuff sounds really good and has cost me a few hundred bucks in total. I get just as much joy of playing this as when I had a Fender, a Rivera and fancier pedals.
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Ronhar
TDPRI Member
I enjoyed music all my life. Played for about 15 years starting in my teens. Life happened and I put in 42 years at a good job and provided for my family. All that time I told my self hobbies would not be at the expense of my family. I’m very patient and kinda jack of all trades. Built my own house and saved a fortune and learned some skills. Eventually built a studio and equipped it with affordable toys and learned some skills. Most of my stuff is considered cheap but has been adapted to my needs. I can afford much more expensive equipment but I’m not a great player. Yes, went through the MIDI era, tired of that and went acoustic then cycled back to electric. Almost got rid of everything a time or two. Haven’t played much but made a few friends along the way. Anything I can obsess on is my current hobby. After retiring just before the pandemic I had extra time on my hands. Isolation was and still is hard. I started practicing and enjoying the work. And surprised my self when I bought a $100 guitar to learn repairs and tweeking and now it’s my favorite. Go figure. If you still like music you’ll find a way. Get out and meet people. I need that advice myself. IMHO
Fiesta Red
Doctor of Teleocity
If music is in your heart, soul and head, you will find some way to express it*—even if it is just “noodling on the couch.”
I understand selling gear when a financial burden arises (I’ve decimated my guitarsenals more than once), but to *completely* eliminate it time and again shows a lack of desire or a lack of commitment.
But hang around—you might get inspired or you might get turned on to a different hobby entirely.
*my wife—a lovely person in every way—likes music but it’s not in her soul…she could not understand the compulsion I have to play—even if it’s just banging on an acoustic on the back porch—until our daughter was born. It was evident that she has music in her soul, and misquoting the words of John Lee Hooker, “It’s in her, and it’s got to come out.”
I understand selling gear when a financial burden arises (I’ve decimated my guitarsenals more than once), but to *completely* eliminate it time and again shows a lack of desire or a lack of commitment.
But hang around—you might get inspired or you might get turned on to a different hobby entirely.
*my wife—a lovely person in every way—likes music but it’s not in her soul…she could not understand the compulsion I have to play—even if it’s just banging on an acoustic on the back porch—until our daughter was born. It was evident that she has music in her soul, and misquoting the words of John Lee Hooker, “It’s in her, and it’s got to come out.”
Exactly this ^^^ ... I'd buy a modestly-priced decent acoustic, have it always nearby leaning up in a corner, and pick it up whenever you're feeling the itch and just enjoy the sounds of your strummed chords, without over-analyzing and beating yourself up that it's not more or less than what it is, or that you spent that money. As a bonus, maybe that uninhibited enjoyment will renew your interest in occasionally getting together with some folks for casual playing.
Otherwise, hop on your cycle and go play disc golf, lots of it!
Sounds like early manopause. You need a guitar playing mate to keep you sharp. Please don't give up playing, it's a skill and you should use it.
