teletail
Friend of Leo's
Everyone wants to play; few want to rehearse, even fewer want to practice.
Sound alike you’ve taken a professional approach and he’s reacted very unprofessionally. You don’t owe him anything else.I play in an alt country band. About half original music and half covers. There are 3 core members and we all get along pretty well (lead singer, lap steel player and me on guitar) . We all have day jobs of course but take it pretty seriously, and try to play decent paying gigs but not all that frequently. We have got into the habit of working with a roster of different bass players and drummers from time to time who like working with us but without committing to any one - they always get paid and it’s just easier that way.
Recently we tried out a new bass player - friend of the lap player- who is more of a casual bass player. As a sub for some of our more low paying pwyc casual gigs (we always take equal shares) if he learned the material it might be good to have a good back up. We were told he was really excited about working with us and looking forward to it etc. has been a friend of the band for years and always said if we had an opportunity he would love to play with us. It was clear that he thought he was auditioning as a full band member which was weird as that was never discussed and he knows we work with lots of other people.
Anyways 2 rehearsals in and it’s clear it’s not going to work. He doesn’t use charts, doesn’t take any notes during practice, hasn’t “had time” to listen to any of the material (he has copies of our 2 cds plus YouTube links and charts i sent on Dropbox), keeps talking about how busy he is and says he will try to find time to learn the material. He watches my left hand and plays about half a beat behind. My response is WTF!!!We have a gig coming up in a few weeks and are running out of time and patience to work on it with him. After the last rehearsal, our drummer came up to me after and pleaded with me to get someone else and sent a follow up email. That clinched it. I was able to convince our lap player that personal relationship aside this was NOT going to work.
So the message was delivered that it just wasn’t working out and he reacted very badly and said all sorts of fairly juvenile and nasty stuff. But he still seems to think we owe him more of an explanation. My view is that if he doesn’t know why, that is part of the problem. I really liked him as a person but talking about this further is pointless. Anyways I am frustratedly and just ranting here. Anyone had similar experiences and is there a different approach or is it better to just rip off the bandaid in one pull and move on?
I‘ve had this happen on more than one occasion. There was one guy that would come to rehearsal every week, vowing to have the songs ready “next week”. Ultimately, he wanted to play the songs he liked and didn’t so much want to join our band, but wanted our band to learn his crap.I find it interesting that he really wanted to do it, yet did none of the work necessary to make that happen.
It's rather shocking that his ear wasn't even good enough to play along without having to study your hand. I always wait until the song's
over, go over the bridge, stops, key changes, and then WRITE THAT **** DOWN!. But then I'd have been pretty prepared before I showed up.![]()
For sure.Everyone wants to play; few want to rehearse, even fewer want to practice.
Boy, ain’t that the truthThere's the reason I don't gig!
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I'll give you my story.
I'm the 'friend of the band' amateur bass player. I learned late, 50+, played 5 yrs counting the initial learning curve - jams only. I then took 4yrs off not playing (life crisis). I started going back out a bit. Then started following my friends band. Got [re]interested in the music. I asked and received their songs and set lists. I set up camera and recorded their gigs and set out to practice. I had no goal other than to get back into playing. Once comfortable I mentioned to my friends that if they ever needed a fill-in that I'd be willing. Well, I filled in once, it went well. They had a falling out with their current bass player. they asked me to audition. I played two songs and was in.
Summation is, I put in the work with no real plan on a 'reward'. The person you described wants the 'reward' without doing any real work.
I am not a great guitarist. I know it, but I also won’t commit to something I can’t do…I’m humble and honest enough to say, “You’re looking for someone better than me…”
Having said all that, I have no qualms about getting rid of someone who either can’t or won’t learn our band’s music…I wrote most of it, but (as I mentioned above) I’m no great shakes so if they can’t figure it out, they probably need to get to work learning to play or give it up.
Several times I’ve gotten to the point that I’d rather just simplify the arrangements of the songs and play rhythm guitar without a bassist than to play with a bad bassist.
It's both.Maybe it's coaching, but I'm sure that those kids have spent their whole lives playing together.
Aside from him not being up to the job and showing no inclination to put in the work,the above reaction shows you did exactly the right thing. Bands are always a delicate balance of members,if you'd kept him on,you'd probably have been looking for another drummer. One bad apple,etc.he reacted very badly and said all sorts of fairly juvenile and nasty stuff.
Perfect example, and good work. I had a similar experience as a part time player, working at improving through learning and practicing, intermittent low key party gigs with friends, and years of blues jams to get comfortable playing out and pushing me to learn more material and work on actually executing new ideas. Eventually a good break occurred and I got into a good gigging band, and still know there more to work on and learn.I'll give you my story.
I'm the 'friend of the band' amateur bass player. I learned late, 50+, played 5 yrs counting the initial learning curve - jams only. I then took 4yrs off not playing (life crisis). I started going back out a bit. Then started following my friends band. Got [re]interested in the music. I asked and received their songs and set lists. I set up camera and recorded their gigs and set out to practice. I had no goal other than to get back into playing. Once comfortable I mentioned to my friends that if they ever needed a fill-in that I'd be willing. Well, I filled in once, it went well. They had a falling out with their current bass player. they asked me to audition. I played two songs and was in.
Summation is, I put in the work with no real plan on a 'reward'. The person you described wants the 'reward' without doing any real work.