Trout
Tele-Holic
If you read enough threads on the popular guitar and gear forums, you are no doubt aware of the fact (anything found on the internet is fact) that pawn shops are seedy establishments, operated by shady characters who exploit the desperate and the stupid, and who stock their stores with overpriced junk.
I view the internet every day, and I avoid pawn shops like the plague, except on Saturdays, when my will power is diminished. I always follow the advice of experts, who write that pawn shops are not worth one's time, and are very risky to do business with.
On Saturday, I accidentally went to my favorite pawn shop. Before entering, I always look around, you know, to see if anyone I know is watching me go inside. It's as if I were walking into one of those shops that sell the magical bedtime toys, and the movies that feature people with names like Angel and Jenna.
As expected, there were piles of overpriced junk. I quickly spotted a trio of items that I had some interest in. My plan was to get a bundle price, then sell two of the three items for profit and get the third item free. Sort of my own version of buy two and get one free.
The combined asking price of the items totaled $905. I acted all cool and collected as I asked for the combo price. I offered $600 for the junky trio. I totally expected him to laugh in my face, but he said that he'd see if he could make it happen. I knew he was totally bull shipping me and just playing around. He wasn't the manager or anything, so he said he had to do some research and make a call... you know, just like when the used car salesman says he's "talking to the sales manager", but you know he just left you in the room while he went for a ride to get a pack of smokes.
As I mentioned, I keep up to date on internet pop culture, so I know how these things work. He came back and countered me at $635. WTF. I was insulted. Now I knew for sure that he thought he had me on the line and was reeling me in. I was so flippin' mad that I left the store. I should have listened to the experts, but I didn't, and now he was stringing me along.
After I left, all mad and disappointed, I went back, because I didn't have anything better to do, and the guy had totally beguiled me with his smile and his friendly disposition. I plopped down my hard earned cash for a Vox AC15C1, a Marshall JCM 2000 combo, and an Epiphone Dot Studio. I knew from what I read on the internet that I was getting ripped off, but I couldn't help it. As I mentioned, pawn shops prey on the stupid.
I took my loot home to check it all out. I did a quick refurbish on the Epi and strung it up with new 10's. The neck is perfect and (after a setup) it plays like butter. Dang. I'm only going to be able to double my money on this one. Total junk.
After wiping the toe jam off the Vox, it looked like new. Total disappointment. I expected damage and major issues. I got it at a pawn shop, after all. After it's all done, I'll only be + $150 on this piece.
The whole point of the buy 2 get 1 free was the Marshall. I've learned that things don't sound the same in the shop as they do in the bedroom or on the stage. This was no exception. This crapper has 2 channels, and one is labeled "Clean". I dimed the gain on the "Clean" side and dimed the master and ripped off a few cords with a humbucker guitar. Clean my ash. This thing sounded like a gat dang Van Halen concert, all brown and crunchy and stuff. I should have expected this sort of result from a pawn shop experience.
I really should have listened to the collective wisdom of the internet. I am so ashamed, and so sorry. Whatever you do, don't ever buy an amp from a pawn shop.
Disclaimer: There's a small to large chance that this piece of literary work contains cynicism and sarcasm. However, the experience was real, and the new Marshall is real (as are the Vox and the Epi)
I view the internet every day, and I avoid pawn shops like the plague, except on Saturdays, when my will power is diminished. I always follow the advice of experts, who write that pawn shops are not worth one's time, and are very risky to do business with.
On Saturday, I accidentally went to my favorite pawn shop. Before entering, I always look around, you know, to see if anyone I know is watching me go inside. It's as if I were walking into one of those shops that sell the magical bedtime toys, and the movies that feature people with names like Angel and Jenna.
As expected, there were piles of overpriced junk. I quickly spotted a trio of items that I had some interest in. My plan was to get a bundle price, then sell two of the three items for profit and get the third item free. Sort of my own version of buy two and get one free.
The combined asking price of the items totaled $905. I acted all cool and collected as I asked for the combo price. I offered $600 for the junky trio. I totally expected him to laugh in my face, but he said that he'd see if he could make it happen. I knew he was totally bull shipping me and just playing around. He wasn't the manager or anything, so he said he had to do some research and make a call... you know, just like when the used car salesman says he's "talking to the sales manager", but you know he just left you in the room while he went for a ride to get a pack of smokes.
As I mentioned, I keep up to date on internet pop culture, so I know how these things work. He came back and countered me at $635. WTF. I was insulted. Now I knew for sure that he thought he had me on the line and was reeling me in. I was so flippin' mad that I left the store. I should have listened to the experts, but I didn't, and now he was stringing me along.
After I left, all mad and disappointed, I went back, because I didn't have anything better to do, and the guy had totally beguiled me with his smile and his friendly disposition. I plopped down my hard earned cash for a Vox AC15C1, a Marshall JCM 2000 combo, and an Epiphone Dot Studio. I knew from what I read on the internet that I was getting ripped off, but I couldn't help it. As I mentioned, pawn shops prey on the stupid.
I took my loot home to check it all out. I did a quick refurbish on the Epi and strung it up with new 10's. The neck is perfect and (after a setup) it plays like butter. Dang. I'm only going to be able to double my money on this one. Total junk.
After wiping the toe jam off the Vox, it looked like new. Total disappointment. I expected damage and major issues. I got it at a pawn shop, after all. After it's all done, I'll only be + $150 on this piece.
The whole point of the buy 2 get 1 free was the Marshall. I've learned that things don't sound the same in the shop as they do in the bedroom or on the stage. This was no exception. This crapper has 2 channels, and one is labeled "Clean". I dimed the gain on the "Clean" side and dimed the master and ripped off a few cords with a humbucker guitar. Clean my ash. This thing sounded like a gat dang Van Halen concert, all brown and crunchy and stuff. I should have expected this sort of result from a pawn shop experience.
I really should have listened to the collective wisdom of the internet. I am so ashamed, and so sorry. Whatever you do, don't ever buy an amp from a pawn shop.
Disclaimer: There's a small to large chance that this piece of literary work contains cynicism and sarcasm. However, the experience was real, and the new Marshall is real (as are the Vox and the Epi)
