…but I've been playing in bands for more than 50 years, and I haven't seen it get better yet.
I would say tension might be good if you’re younger and have grand ambitions. For most of us…ahem…older folks, who needs it?Tension can be a good thing for the music. I am not trying to make light of being in a frustrating situation, but more like exploring parts of our personalities that are uncomfortable... and things coming out in the music as result of being kicked out of a comfort zone.
That being said, if the music is good, it's good. If not, well...that can be a problem. I want to be challenged by the other musicians, and uncomfortable..I guess. Otherwise I just stay in my mindset of doing what I know...what's safe. That worries me as a player.
For you, don't listen to me or anyone else. Listen to your inner voice.