Need advice (pet content)

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by GuitarKid, Jun 19, 2019.

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  1. GuitarKid

    GuitarKid Tele-Meister

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    Hello good people. Recently I read a thread here about pets who get to a certain age and start to develop health problems.

    In the past 12 years my mother and I gathered 9 cats. It was just me and she in the house and the cats were great company. We gave them all the attention and care they needed. We went out of our way in that we practically turned our house into the cats' house. We understood when people wouldn't come, or complained about the smell or the cat hair around the house, but it was our choice and we really really loved the cats for many years. We still do.

    But things have changed in the last couple of years.

    First, my mother was diagnosed with cancer about 6 years ago. She has undergone multiple surgeries and chemo sessions. In the first few years she was doing fine. But the cancer has spread to other organs. Now she is again doing chemo. She has got a colostomy bag. She is in a more fragile state than in a few years ago.

    Second, I got married last year and now have a one-month old daughter. My wife, myself and our daughter have moved to another house, which is right in front of my mother's house.

    In the last couple of months my mother has been staying at her mother in the other side of town. Her house is partially abandoned. Since we are nearby, we have been going there twice or three times a day to give food to the cats, change water and clean the litter.

    But the cats no longer have received all the attention they were used to.

    Now our life has drastically changed. It's not that we are giving up our responsibility with the cats. It's just that we have so much to deal in our life first. We can't prioritize the cats anymore. After all we are human beings. As much as we love the cats, and in the past even put the cats before our own needs many times, now things are much different. We no longer have the simple life we had as just my mother and I. My mother can't stay on her own in her house and take care of the cats alone. My family and I have a little baby to care for.

    As much as we have been going there daily, we stay at most half an hour. So we are not aware of the cats habits etc.

    Yesterday one of the older cats, a ten year old female, was bleeding from the rear. It was quite a lot of blood. I only saw it because I tried to take her out of the sofa where she always stays most of the time, and the blood came down from her rear.

    I know this can't be something easy to cure. It will take patience, time, and most importantly, money.

    I'm going to take her to the vet right now to see what the options are. But I already know I won't be able to spend the money and the time that this cat may require.

    At this stage I don't even know she's curable anymore.

    I'm afraid I'll have to put her to sleep. This hurts so much, but life is tough.

    Just wanted to know what you guys can tell me.

    Thanks in advance and sorry for occasional english mistakes, I'm not a native speaker.
     
  2. 68tele

    68tele Friend of Leo's

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    Sorry you are going thru such a tough time. Please contact the pet shelter to help re-home these cats elsewhere. Good luck with the sick cat.
     
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  3. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Poster Extraordinaire

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    First off....SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR MOM.......that's got to consume so much of your attention.
    As far as the cats go.....all the years you had them were they properly cared for? By that I mean not just feeding, but regular vet visits, neutering, vaccinations, etc.?
    As much as I'm sure you thought you were "doing right" by taking in the cats, unless you were doing everything I mentioned, my opinion is you weren't being good caretakers. Sorry......
    Please call Animal Control immediately, and let them take charge. It's the "right" thing to do.
     
  4. Sanity Inn

    Sanity Inn Tele-Meister

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    Our vet loves us having 6 cats and a dog, although the number of cats has lessened because of age and having to put them down.
    Seems you did what you could to help kitties while you could, perhaps a call out to family and friend to help adopt out some of them.

    see if there are any local cat rescues available to you to help with the sick cat,

    it's hard to see our furry friends get older and sickly.. and have to deal with it

    all the best to you
     
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  5. Muddslide

    Muddslide Friend of Leo's

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    This is the hard part. I am so sorry about your mother.

    I agree that you should re-home all or most of the cats. Possibly family and friends, place them on Craigslist or a local Facebook page maybe...
     
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  6. Recce

    Recce Tele-Afflicted

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    Yes, you will need to try and do something with the cats. It will be hard but your life and your Moms have moved on from being able to care for them. It will be a challenge but you need to find them places to go.
     
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  7. Bones

    Bones Telefied Ad Free Member

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    You have to weigh out the quality of life the cat has had, against the quality and quantity of life the cat will have going forward against the amount of money you can comfortably afford.

    In other words, if the cat is going to decline in health and quality of life in spite of your best efforts and financial costs, you should make peace with knowing you did what you can and humanely end the cat's suffering.

    That sounds cold, but it's the reality of your situation and the cat's situation, especially considering that you may have to go through this several more times in the future.

    Your mom and her health has to be the priority as does the health of your young family both physically and financially.

    As far as the other cats, as others have said, try to re-home most it not all of them to ease the burden on your family and improve the quality of life for the remaining cats.
     
  8. Jimmy Owen

    Jimmy Owen Tele-Holic

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    Hi Guitarkid,

    I'm sorry about your mom.

    Taking the sick cat to the vet is (of course) the right thing to do. Perhaps it's not as bad as you fear. I've been a pet owner for most of my life, and it's hard to make the decision to put a dog or cat down, but it is something that we owe them.

    Alas, I must agree with some of the previous posters: it is probably time to find homes for most of the cats. Is there any way you could maybe keep a couple? When my mom was in end-of-life care, she missed her pets. I was allowed to bring her dog to visit. Our pets are very therapeutic to us.

    Oh--your English is quite good.
     
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  9. SolidSteak

    SolidSteak Friend of Leo's

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    Maybe when you see the vet about the sick cat he or she will have some advice about finding new homes for the cats?
     
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  10. verb boten

    verb boten Tele-Meister

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    Guitarkid, i admire your devotion to your cats but can only echo what others have said (and i'm sure what has been going through your mind), finding homes that hopefully have a love for cats that you do. I would advise you to start with the phoning as soon as you can, and best of luck to your mom and the rest of your family.
     
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  11. GuitarKid

    GuitarKid Tele-Meister

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    Thanks for all the replies and good wishes.

    In all these years we neutered and spayed all of the cats. We gave them some vaccines when they were younger. It's been a few years they don't get vaccines. I admit we could have given them all the vaccines they needed when we had more money and time. We just let things go by because apparently everything was fine.

    But we spend quite a bit of money every month with food and litter. We live in a third world country where means are short. Things are too expensive. We spend just on food and litter a good percentage of our total income. Now add the fact that we have a little baby. And there's the other needs as well. My mother is being treated by the free health care all this time, so I can't complain about medical bills, but still there are some expenses of our own.

    In the beginning of the cat family we cared to build additional things in the house in order to prevent them going out. Houses here are not like in the US or UK, which in most cases don't have walls or metal gates/separations from other houses. Here all houses are separated by walls and these metal structures. Many people around here have cats and let them out because they can just pass through the gates or jump over the walls. In our house we lifted the walls as high as we could, and made gates with not enough space for the cats to pass through. We did this to prevent them going out and getting killed, or getting diseases, or simply bothering other neighbors.

    My mother especially really loved these cats, talked to them, slept with them, played with them, when she was able to. The cats were a big part of her happiness. I don't even know how I'm gonna tell her about the problem with this one cat.

    I've just returned from the vet. She has two big holes in her rear, close to the anus. The vet thinks these holes were probably caused by a fight with other cat. This particular cat has always been the contrarian one in the house. She's lovely and amicable with us, but she's always been detached from the others, and also paranoid. As a result the other cats don't tolerate her too well.

    The medicines will cost some money. Treatment will require care, time and patience. And its not guaranteed that she'll live, because the holes close to her anus may make it impossible for her to defecate. We couldn't know before trying the treatment.

    All things considered, we (my wife and I) will not be able to dispose of the time and care required, let alone the money. We are caring for a little baby as I said. Having contact with the cat's wounds would put my baby at risk, even if I take all precautions. My wife won't be able to help me because she's nursing most of the time.

    The treatment would require me to administrate several doses of medicines a day orally, and also clean the wounds and spray it with another medicine. I wouldn't be able to do this alone. It's hard to access her wounds and she of course doesn't make it easy.

    The cost of medications will be far greater than the cost of euthanasia. Unfortunately I have to think in monetary terms too. It's really sad, I'm in tears. I've never had to face a situation like this.

    I'm just beginning my new life as a father and married man. This is a big challenge. I feel like I have to prioritize my family and my daughter. My heart tells me this is the right thing to do.

    My old life will stay in the past gradually. I just didn't know it would be this dramatic. My mother's life expectancy isn't big. And now I have to decide over one of our cat's life.

    Where I live there aren't many places that would help us relocate the cats, unfortunately. Cats in my culture are not well-seen by the majority of people. Especially old cats. Nobody would want to adopt them.

    I have to take the decision today, as tomorrow is a holiday, and the medication, if I opted for the treatment, would take a few days to be manipulated. And all this time the cat would be suffering from pain and from her overall condition.
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2019
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  12. uriah1

    uriah1 Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Yes, it is quite better for them to be in shelter where they perhaps
    will get 100% attention they need. Especially the sick ones.
    I think it is cruel for a lot of folks to extend the life of a pet
    for their own internal feelings or assumptions .

    Wish you and your fam well.
     
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  13. stxrus

    stxrus Friend of Leo's

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    Best of luck to your mom & congratulations on the new family

    If there is a shelter that will take the cats for adoption please do it.

    Making the tough decisions is hard but sometimes we have to just do that
     
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  14. Deeve

    Deeve Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    @GuitarKid

    Quality of life - that's probably the most important thing my family looks at when we face these things.
    Last time we did it w/ cats, we asked - "are these guys having a good day today? will they have a good tomorrow?"
    When we couldn't answer "Yes", we did the humane thing and they were euthanized (at 16 and 19 years old).
    That may be the next step for some of your older cats, who might otherwise suffer through costly, and ultimately pointless, medical treatments.

    Now, the issue is care for my mom - and we're asking the same questions: "What's the quality of life here? Is she having good days anymore?"
    A hospitalist added a useful question - "If mom was 20 years younger and looking upon a patient like this (mom - now) what would She want to do?

    These are hard choices, but they are also evidence that we've been entrusted w/ difficult decisions because someone thinks we have good judgment.
    Peace - Deeve
     
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  15. Keefsdad

    Keefsdad Tele-Holic

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    I feel for you. Your heart is obviously in the right place and i have every confidence you will make the best decision for you and the cats.
     
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  16. stratofortress

    stratofortress Tele-Afflicted

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    Guitar kid I admire you for your honesty.
    Being its a 3rd world country they might not have much in the way of animal shelters so I have no advice.
     
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  17. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Poster Extraordinaire

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    Thank you for taking the time to better explain your situation. You're really carrying a terrible burden right now, with your mom's condition, as well as the cats'. Please accept my sympathies and prayers. While I agree that our pets are incredibly important in our lives, we have to consider how they affect our families.....and I'm glad you're concerned with your mom, wife, and child. Financial realities are just that....realities. You don't mention if you have a Humane Society or Animal Control resource to offer assistance, but, if so, I hope you will call on them. And, as sad as it may seem, I believe the most humane thing you can do for the sick cat is to kindly, lovingly, let her go to sleep, and not wake up. It is a hard thing to do......but it's the "right" thing. BEST WISHES......
     
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  18. GuitarKid

    GuitarKid Tele-Meister

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    Thanks for all the best wishes and advice.

    We had to put her to sleep. It was painless and I'm sure she's in a better place now. She was suffering and would suffer more had we decided to carry on.

    Now I'll deal with this decision the best way I can.
     
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  19. stxrus

    stxrus Friend of Leo's

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    You did the right thing no matter how wrong it feels
     
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