@LGOberean your momma raised you right and she is lucky to call you son!
My Mom, my life & TDPRI
- Thread starter LGOberean
- Start date
All the best to you and yours.
Nothing worthwhile is easy, but it is worth it.
Nothing worthwhile is easy, but it is worth it.
Stubee
Doctor of Teleocity
I’m glad to hear you can do that, LGOberean. I know it can be difficult in a number of ways, just do your best and don’t be afraid to ask for more help when needed.
Take it from someone who has been in that situation - - you MUST take time for self-care, whatever that may be. If that includes the fellowship of TDPRI, don't deny yourself that outlet. You need time to be away from it, or you'll go nuts.
stxrus
Doctor of Teleocity
Larry, I’m sending positive thoughts to you, Beth, and mom. I have always respected you because you seem to do the right things and this IS the right thing.
Come back when you can, if only to drop in and say “hi”
Come back when you can, if only to drop in and say “hi”
Harry Styron
Friend of Leo's
My advice is that when dealing with a person with dementia is to maintain a peaceful atmosphere, so that the person with dementia does not feel insecure about being able to secure basic needs. The definition of basic needs may not make much sense to you sometimes, but denial of those needs causes stress and unhappy behavior.
There are so many varieties of dementia and so much variation from person to person that the determination of which stage is present is only a little bit helpful. The symptoms that are most alarming are the loss of bowel and bladder control, failure to recognize loved ones, and major personality changes.
You and your wife are wise and generous people and will be able to muster the humility needed for being caregivers.
You will be grateful that you are in a position to help.
There are so many varieties of dementia and so much variation from person to person that the determination of which stage is present is only a little bit helpful. The symptoms that are most alarming are the loss of bowel and bladder control, failure to recognize loved ones, and major personality changes.
You and your wife are wise and generous people and will be able to muster the humility needed for being caregivers.
You will be grateful that you are in a position to help.
Oxidao
Tele-Afflicted
I take my hat off to you and your wife, and I hope you three, being able to adapt and have many many good days to come.
We humankind need people like you, thanks.
My 86yo Mom lives with two of my brothers (one of which needs permanent attention), 3 miles away from me. The three of them are fabulous persons.
Obviously, it is my brother who bears with this mainly, but I go and stay with them almost everyday, and despite I started doing so as an act of responsability, I can say now, it is them, which is most filling me actually.
We humankind need people like you, thanks.
My 86yo Mom lives with two of my brothers (one of which needs permanent attention), 3 miles away from me. The three of them are fabulous persons.
Obviously, it is my brother who bears with this mainly, but I go and stay with them almost everyday, and despite I started doing so as an act of responsability, I can say now, it is them, which is most filling me actually.
Oxidao
Tele-Afflicted
This is actually my daily routine, talking and have fun with her. She love to have those peaceful memories, and she is happy talking about those.
IME, those couple things up there, are capital for a person at that incipient dementia stage.
There is some term for a generation when you end up taking care of your parents and your children and their children... no matter what, life hands us challenges that are significant loads to bear.
I hope you'll get some time at the kitchen table to hang out and I hope you get time to get a walk in everyday.
My wife and I cared for her mom until she passed. It was an often challenging 5 years or so. I did a lot of TDPRI in doctor's offices and the hospital and or waiting for something to happen or not happen.
As I get older, I hope when the time comes that I can go to an assisted living place and just be the guy playing the banjo or guitar at the front garden... that I get wheeled out (or if I can walk, walk out) to the garden and get some sun and have a moment.
i'd not want my kids to have to worry over me... I am definitely over all the stigmas that we stick each other with... I think find the best solution for you and do your best and maybe things will be okay.
I hope you'll get some time at the kitchen table to hang out and I hope you get time to get a walk in everyday.
My wife and I cared for her mom until she passed. It was an often challenging 5 years or so. I did a lot of TDPRI in doctor's offices and the hospital and or waiting for something to happen or not happen.
As I get older, I hope when the time comes that I can go to an assisted living place and just be the guy playing the banjo or guitar at the front garden... that I get wheeled out (or if I can walk, walk out) to the garden and get some sun and have a moment.
i'd not want my kids to have to worry over me... I am definitely over all the stigmas that we stick each other with... I think find the best solution for you and do your best and maybe things will be okay.
Blessings to you and your family, Larry. I hope I can do the same if it ever becomes necessary.
Tonetele
Doctor of Teleocity
You're a good person.
Monoprice99
Tele-Holic
I was also a caregiver. You're going to find a patient with Alzheimer's to be a full time job starting with stages 5-7. When they lose control of bodily functions (code browns), I've done my share of those. There's a reason the other siblings are handing this off at this point. I ended up with those stages with my Dad at age 94.5-96.5. I had a 2nd patient too, a 16-18 yo dog with virtually identical decline & it was 5 years after Mom had passed away. As a caregiver, you may want to join a caregiver forum, read some of the threads there to get an idea of what you may be in store for.
RobRiggs
Friend of Leo's
You’re a good man Larry. Remember to take care of yourselves too.
