Well, here we are a few days on and the drama continues, I'm not joking if I state that all of this gave me some form of PTSD.
I'm very jumpy, just the sound of the doorbell or the telephone scares me s#*+less, I haven't gotten any time to get myself checked out by a doctor, but I'm pretty sure my blood pressure must be off the scale.
Sleeping doesn't help, since having been woken up on a daily basis at early hours by somebody phoning about the paperwork and other medical things concerning my mom, made that I can't have my usual hours of sleep any more, no matter how much I need them.
That polonaise of family members waltzing in and out of the house, also contributes to it all, as I said, as soon as the doorbell rings, I jump up. Yesterday, the niece of my sister-in-law came by to retrieve a wheelbarrow and just seeing her at the door made me go “Oh no!”
And of course, I'm not the only one.
Yesterday when I brought up the subject of an aunt of mine visiting, my sister-in-law went wide-eyed, before my kid bro said that she cancelled. My sister-in-law went, “Thank god, I was very worried for a moment.”
Tomorrow will see mom's cremation, and we opted for a quiet ceremony, no visitors, no casket viewing, but now my kid brother tells me, he can't do it. I told him it's okay, heck if anybody understands, it's ME.
But in the midst of all the madness, one angel presented herself to me. My old high school sweetheart, from the moment mom fell and broke her ribs, she had been there for me. For those two months that everything went south, she was my anchor, the one who kept my feet on the ground.
Right now I'm completely not in the right state of mind but once I'll get back on my feet again, I swear I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
I'm very jumpy, just the sound of the doorbell or the telephone scares me s#*+less, I haven't gotten any time to get myself checked out by a doctor, but I'm pretty sure my blood pressure must be off the scale.
Sleeping doesn't help, since having been woken up on a daily basis at early hours by somebody phoning about the paperwork and other medical things concerning my mom, made that I can't have my usual hours of sleep any more, no matter how much I need them.
That polonaise of family members waltzing in and out of the house, also contributes to it all, as I said, as soon as the doorbell rings, I jump up. Yesterday, the niece of my sister-in-law came by to retrieve a wheelbarrow and just seeing her at the door made me go “Oh no!”
And of course, I'm not the only one.
Yesterday when I brought up the subject of an aunt of mine visiting, my sister-in-law went wide-eyed, before my kid bro said that she cancelled. My sister-in-law went, “Thank god, I was very worried for a moment.”
Tomorrow will see mom's cremation, and we opted for a quiet ceremony, no visitors, no casket viewing, but now my kid brother tells me, he can't do it. I told him it's okay, heck if anybody understands, it's ME.
But in the midst of all the madness, one angel presented herself to me. My old high school sweetheart, from the moment mom fell and broke her ribs, she had been there for me. For those two months that everything went south, she was my anchor, the one who kept my feet on the ground.
Right now I'm completely not in the right state of mind but once I'll get back on my feet again, I swear I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
