Ok, so my band for the past six years is in turmoil. The crux of the problem is that my wife of 19 years, one of the lead singers, is having an affair with the bass player. The pain, depression, and anxiety for me have been excruciating, but over the past two months, I've stayed professional and played all of our shows, knowing what's been going on. My wife and I have separated in order to figure out how we want the next few years to go. Initially, I wanted to quit the band, but my wife talked me into staying because the band "really has something great going on." Fire them both? Yeah, that and more violent revenge was my first reaction. But they're both great musicians, the band has been pretty successful due to their efforts, and sending the bass player to the hospital wouldn't be difficult or terribly rewarding. And, to complicate matters, I still love my wife and believe we could actually reconcile. We are beginning marriage counseling, but I'm still up in the air about our prospects. We have two young sons, though, and they also persuade me to try hard to save our family, as well as the band. My plan is this: we have six gigs booked in the next month, and four more pretty much guaranteed for August. I've got another really good bass player who could learn our material in no time. There's a two week break between the first two gigs and the next four (or eight, counting August). I'm going to ask the lead singer and band leader, who is totally sympathetic to me, to fire the bass player after the next two gigs and bring on the new guy. I'll ask my wife to stay on in the band, both because we need the income and because we have "something great going on." Too vindictive? My friends (and even my wife's family) keep telling me I should really stick it to them. But I don't want to be a dick. I just want some peace in the family/band. What do you think?