Memorable quotes and anecdotes from your (Former) bandmates.

telleutelleme

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Very close friend and gigging musician.

"You sounded like you were walking through a park trying to avoid dog s&^t"

When he liked something I played he said the same thing only changed it to "and you avoided the dog S&^t"
 

johnny k

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If there is no banter, the risk is people thinking well this band is just going through the motions.
 

Ronhar

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I remember sitting in at a church one time as a guest. The bass player was playing some funky notes and I kept looking over to see if he was playing the right note or not. On one specific long note I looked over, we were all supposed to be playing a D. He had his finger in the right spot but it was not a D. It was not quite an Eb but close to Eb than D.
We finish the set and go back to the green room. Not trying to overstep I discreetly asked the bass player about his bass. We chatted a little bit and then I asked if the intonation was spot on and I told him what I had observed.
He looked confused and asked what intonation was. I explained and told him that his intonation must be off. Then he said something that shocked me.
He said, "It can't be off, I just had strings put on it last summer."
I asked, "so when you tuned this morning it was on pitch?"
He said, "I told you, I had new strings put on it last summer so it doesn't need to be tuned."
I just nodded and went to get coffee. Before the second set I snuck in with a snark and tuned his bass to pitch. The second set went much better.
Reminds me of my little brother wanting to learn the bass from his older rock star brother. I showed him some notes and an easy progression. Next day or two I checked in on his progress. He was playing spot on but horribly out of tune. He never noticed. I wisely steered him into other hobbies. He never played again. Friends don’t let tone deaf friends play.
 

VintageSG

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A -very- former drummer said to me when I pointed out his endless fills were out of place and wrecking the timing...

'I'm playing like the original, so f$%& off!'

Err, I wrote it. No frills, no fills.

He was replaced with a drum machine. It argued less, played better, kept time, didn't get wasted, and I didn't want to strangle it.
 

johnny k

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Reminds me of my little brother wanting to learn the bass from his older rock star brother. I showed him some notes and an easy progression. Next day or two I checked in on his progress. He was playing spot on but horribly out of tune. He never noticed. I wisely steered him into other hobbies. He never played again. Friends don’t let tone deaf friends play.
Well you can improve your ear, and rhythmic feel. At least i did. Not by much, but if nobody tells you you have to play in time / tune your instrument, you know. It is like you have got to peel the banana before eating it. First time you eat a banana, you are going to eat the peel with it. Not the best example but you see where i am going. Nowhere.
 

Telecaster88

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Reminds me of my little brother wanting to learn the bass from his older rock star brother. I showed him some notes and an easy progression. Next day or two I checked in on his progress. He was playing spot on but horribly out of tune. He never noticed. I wisely steered him into other hobbies. He never played again. Friends don’t let tone deaf friends play.
My first band existed for two and a half years and in all that time we never figured out you were supposed to tune the instruments to each other. (This was before electronics tuners were readily available, so we just tuned our individual instruments by ear to whatever sounded close to right, but never to each other.)
 
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Wrighty

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Never got to be a band member but we auditioned a drummer for our functions covers band. Small church hall, maybe 40’ x 20’. Guy has found his way in 1/2 hour before his time slot and is setting up a 24” six drum kit. Should have sensed impending problems when he inserted ear plugs. First number was a gentle country shuffle. I started to tell him what it was but, before I could finish he says loudly, (earplugs in place) ‘just play it, I’ll fit right in’. One bar in and it’s metal time. So bloody loud and the wrong rhythm, just a rock four. We did two more numbers after which he declared ‘I don’t wanna do this stuff, it all sounds the same’, packed up his kit and left. We were all relieved. He is now referred to as the atomic drummer. Now whenever a new song sounds meme, someone will say ‘it all sounds the same’.
 

Paull

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Providence
The fiddler’s brother-in-law decided to play bass, and bought a stand-up bass which he said looked like a “nice piece of furniture”.
He had no idea what notes to play, the reason to play them, or where they were on the piece of furniture. But he enjoyed plucking the strings.
When I attempted to show him what, why, and where, he wasn’t pleased because “I thought we were here to have fun”
 

Blazer

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Never got to be a band member but we auditioned a drummer for our functions covers band. Small church hall, maybe 40’ x 20’. Guy has found his way in 1/2 hour before his time slot and is setting up a 24” six drum kit. Should have sensed impending problems when he inserted ear plugs. First number was a gentle country shuffle. I started to tell him what it was but, before I could finish he says loudly, (earplugs in place) ‘just play it, I’ll fit right in’. One bar in and it’s metal time. So bloody loud and the wrong rhythm, just a rock four. We did two more numbers after which he declared ‘I don’t wanna do this stuff, it all sounds the same’, packed up his kit and left. We were all relieved. He is now referred to as the atomic drummer. Now whenever a new song sounds meme, someone will say ‘it all sounds the same’.
Reminds me of what the drummer from "Rote Sau" said to me during our rehearsals.

Dude, those rhythms are BORING! I play every single song the same way, isn't there any way to spruce them up a little?
At which I went
YOU'RE the drummer, go right ahead and get to it!

Mind you, that's the same guy who said that he couldn't play a full show without five minute intervals.
 
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Blazer

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Just reading through this thread and laughing my ass off!

You guys are beautiful.

Sure, I’ve got my own crazy band mate stories ( of course, all drummer centric) but this is some really great content here.

Carry on, gents.
Don't mind if I do.

Again "Rote sau" this was something I wished somebody would have filmed. Dave, our original drummer, who said that he couldn't play a full show without five minutes intervals, brought along Arjan, a buddy of his who could play songs while he was taking a rest.

Turns out that he shot himself in the foot in a major way by doing so, because Arjan was a far better drummer than he was. Dave, recognizing that fact, decided to step down but said that he still wanted to play shows with us and asked me how he could do so.

So I steered him towards bands such as the Allman brothers and the Grateful dead, who play with two drummers, which lead to a VERY memorable rehearsal.

Me, our lead singer and our Bass player arrived at our rehearsal space, set up our gear and waited for our drummers, we waited a full hour until they arrived, shouting and bickering like a married couple.

Turned out that Dave took my advice on playing with two drummers to heart and brought along his own kit to play along with the kit that was already there at the rehearsal space. The reason they were late was because the two couldn't agree how to pack the kit into the van. And Dave was really upset about Arjan changing the positions of the cymbal stand on his rack, and the two just spend an hour arguing over how to properly get the thing in there.

The rest of the rehearsal was like watching a Laurel and Hardy sketch, I couldn't breathe from laughing so much.

Turns out that playing with two drummers, not only is far louder than I anticipated, but if the two of them fail to get into a good groove together, it also tends to make the thing sound very sloppy too.
 

StoneH

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I just remembered another one.

We were auditioning drummers. One guy was a little clumsy setting up. Out of the blue he said, "I was in a car wreck, but the doctor said there was no brain damage . . . I'm not so sure".

I don't know why, but it's still funny to me. 😂
 

Thorby Bislam

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Mid-set, I was setting up my banjolele for the next number. Buddy on my right ad-libs, "Them metal points Thorby is putting on his fingers; he had 'em on yesterday and forgot he was wearing 'em until he scratched his arse. Oww!:eek:" I ad-libbed, "Apparently the scream was heared in (nearest town). Buddy to my left said, "That was you? I thought the folks next door were watching a horror film." :D
 




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