Memorable quotes and anecdotes from your (Former) bandmates.

KeithDavies 100

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My last band, when we absolutely nailed something rocky - a ZZ Top cover for example - in rehearsal, the bass player would say "and if they don't like that, they can **** off!"

I'm keeping that one for future bands.
 

RollingBender

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Local musician (competent in quite a few instruments actually) an extreme gear head as we were packing up gear after a multi-band jam performance last summer…”I’m not very good but I have a lot of $h1t”.
 

Bob Womack

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Former co-guitarist, meant as a compliment: "There isn't enough room on the stage for you and me both at the same time."

Former bandleader of a band I saw real potential in so I urged them to put some discipline into it: "This band used to be fun to play in. It isn't anymore. So we are going to quit. And it is because of YOU (points to me)!"

Bob
 

Fritzy1959

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Lincoln England
I remember one particular gig played in the Portland Bars, Manchester England back in the early 80’s where our Bass player (who is sadly no longer with us) caused a bit of a stir ! This guy was a bit of an animal..and would regularly down pints of wine…but he held his drink very well. Usually he was a very subdued player…(Think John Entwhistle like) However on this occasion he was leaping about like a lunatic…very out of character…then his wife realised he been taking anti-histamines for his hay-fever…hence the change in his on stage persona! After the gig we went round the bar selling our 45 single. Now back in the 80’s being a rock/pop band we all had denim jackets embroidered on the back with the name of the band (‘Akela and the Cubs’). The Bass player stopped to talk to one group of girls to ask them if they would like to buy the single. One girl turned him around and looked at the back of his jacket and asked…”Are you Akela then” The Bass player replied very courteously …No he wasn’t Akela. The girl in question who obviously had one too many then started a tirade of abuse saying how stupid it was to walk around with a jacket with someone else’s name on it (obviously not part of the local rock scene…but that‘s bye the bye). The Bass player kept his cool, leant forward and uttered the immortal words… “It says large in my underwear but it doesn’t mean to say I’ve got a big ****” As you can imaging his wife was mortified.

Priceless…absolutely priceless.

I never did find out if he sold that girl a single…as I and the rest of the band were on the floor in a heap. (Just one more story from the days of Akela and the Cubs)
 

teletail

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I played with a drummer who had a million zingers, none forum appropriate. But, non band related - his business was trying to hire someone and a guy interviewed that he liked. When he told the guy the starting pay was $15 an hour the guy said, “ I can’t work for $15 an hour, I have three kids and two car payments.” So my friend says, “Maybe you should quit buying cars and keep your dick in your pants.”
 

Old Deaf Roadie

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"We needed to get gas in the car".
Those were the words offered to the band by one of our guitarists after he disappeared during the 3rd set break and reappeared 3 songs into to 4th set with white powder halos around his nostrils and rushing tempo on every song.
We had a strict stay straight & sober enough to not embarrass your bandmates in public policy, and fired ol' Billy Willy at the next band practice.
 

backalleyblues

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Jacksonville, FL, USA
We were playing “Sultans Of Swing” on a gig and drummer counts off 4-then plays a rhumba beat! We still keep playing the tune all the while laughing our tails off, and it actually sounds not half bad!!! I lean over to the drummer after the song and tell him “that wasn’t a rhumba tune!” As the whole band is cracking up… Ever since when ever someone plays an obvious clam, we all shout “Rhumba!!!
 

jhundt

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"we tune because we care"
"Ladies and gentleman, Young Jeff just invented a note'
"and that friends, is that"
"how about a big hand for our bass player, dougie, he has played that song for 35 years and, well, this last try was one of them."
"SAAAAAFE"
"and now our steel player is going to play a somewhat original"
my singer once said (in reference to his personal habits, and our fan base) "if they can't get past my smell, they'll NEVER get past my personality!"
 

Skyhook

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Turku, Finland
Today, I hung out with the former drummer and Lead singer of Slavantas and a lot of anecdotes of the old days were brought up. But more than that hour hanging out with that singer was way more than I could stand. (And I'll leave it at that.)

So I had the idea of bringing up memorable quotes and anecdotes of bandmates or former bandmates.

My band "Rote Sau"
"Stop going on an ego trip dude, songs have to EVOLVE!"
- Our then bass player after I, in deep frustration, said that I was sick hearing him play the wrong notes over and over in a song we had been practising for two years. Okay, songs need to evolve, I can agree with that but not if evolution means that that mistake becomes part of the song.

"If we start playing shows, can we divide our set list in blocks of three songs with five minute intervals?"
- Our then drummer, because to his own admission, he lacked the stamina to play a full continuous show.
"Dude, are you kidding me?"
- My reply

Slavantas.
We were rehearsing a new song, jamming along, making it all fit together, which eventually resulted in the song "Back in Ballance." It was going great, everything was coming together when out of nowhere our then bass player went "I'm bored with this, let's do something else!" We all looked at him as if he had grown a second head. "Yeah really funny dude." but he was totally serious.

I was there when the next thing I'm going to mention happened, otherwise I wouldn't have believed it. Once again, a rehearsal where we were trying out ideas and see if a song could be gotten from them. When all of a sudden that same bass player said "Yo Walt, check out Josh, what the F&^@ is he doing?" I looked over at our drummer, and he actually pulled a tooth from his mouth with his fingers before tossing it over his shoulder.

Yeah, that pretty much summed up Slavantas in those days: a tooth being pulled out using fingers.
The band where I played bass... and I've ranted about our exploits on this forum before as well.

T was the main songwriter....
We were rehearsing a new song that was just getting solidified and T insisted that we do a run through
with some of the chords changed to completely wrong chords(and I mean like wrong chords over the wrong bass
notes... not just alternative chordings... I'm talking harmonically wrong and dissonant).

This was after we had practiced the correct(and final)
chords for quite a while already. He was adamant that this needs to happen. Okayyyy....
No surprise: it sounded like fertilizer.
This is a transcript of the discussion that followed.

Me: (losing it) See?! It sounded like ship(CleanWord™ subs)! Why did you need to hear that?!
T: Sometimes you just gotta follow your instincts.
Me: Funk(CleanWord™ subs) your instincts!!!
T: *wordlessly unplugs his guitar, bags it and leaves the rehearsal*

In all fairness, I also walked out similarly once when we were auditioning a keyboard player.
Our drummer commented on the song being rehearsed vis-à-vis keyboards to the prospective kb player.
He said stuff like "... on this part there's supposed to be strings... " and "... there's supposed to be an arpeggio here...",
you know... just arrangement stuff which just might be relevant for a kb player to know about.
T just kept overruling everything with "Yeah, in a perfect world!". Our drummer soon lost it and I don't blame him.
He started shouting at T like why the hell kb arrangements would not be relevant at this point since it's
oh... I dunno... a kb player we're auditioning. T just shouted back alternating between "In a perfect world!"
and "Shut the funk(CleanWord™ subs) up!!!" gravitating more and more to the latter.
At this point I unplugged my bass, bagged it and left.
 

brookdalebill

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Banter is unprofesional, just get on with the show nd keep tuning as quiet as possible. Our band hardly engages in banter if at all. Let your set list flow.
Agreed!
It’s ultra lame, and rarely entertaining.
Unless you’re really clever, keep the blather/banter to a minimum.
 

Blazer

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Banter is unprofesional, just get on with the show nd keep tuning as quiet as possible. Our band hardly engages in banter if at all. Let your set list flow.
After Rote Sau played what turned out to be our only show, I said to the others. "No more banter between songs."

And the guys went, "Er... YOU were the one bantering." at which I went "Yup, exactly."
 

grzz51

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Nov 12, 2009
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West Helena, AR
About 10 years ago just before our gig was to start, I offered the bass player (who was a 40 y/o woman) some Finger Ease for her fretboard. The drummer yelled at me "you giving her some of your Astro Glide dude?" She replied to him, "I don't need that s***.... just ask my husband". Her husband was sitting at a table, head in hands, shaking it in disbelief.
 

slauson slim

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By The Levee
Hey, let’s get a 12 pack!

From guitarist before, during and after practice and gigs. His idea of a good time was to drink a twelve pack of beer in a convenience store parking lot. Anytime of day or night.
 

Old Verle Miller

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Apr 7, 2022
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Texas
Years and years ago I was one of three backup singers on a stage in front of at least 3500 people. Everyone in the house band including us are dressed alike. (Think giant lapel shirt days.) We have a few very simple choreographed "dance" moves that include turning around and changing places. From the beginning the bass vocalist isn't doing the moves right. We're not supposed to talk - the mics are hot. We're just supposed to smile and do nothing during the very short breaks between numbers. Like a ventriloquist the alto finally manages to ask him what the **** is wrong with him. Through a clenched smile the bass guy steps back from the mic and whispers, "my pants are split open." We stopped the dance routines and the wardrobe lady got him fixed between sets.
 




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