Memorable quotes and anecdotes from your (Former) bandmates.

stxrus

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Back in 1969 I was in a band that had a regular Saturday gig at the Holiday Inn in Meridian, Ms.

It was probably our 12th or so show. There was a couple that sat at a table up front, always nice, requested songs we knew, and tipped nicely.

Everything was going nicely when this woman (the man’s wife) walked up the couple’s table, said something, pulled out a pistol and shot both of them. *where do you hide on a 9x9 stage while holding a SG when gunfire erupts?*
After the excitement had subsided, the shooter was restrained, the cops arrived, the medics carried the victims away (both had superficial injuries) the bass player said into the mic, “If you don’t like what we’re playing just ask and we’ll try something else”. That cleared the heavy emotion in the room and all went well for the rest of the night

The funniest part to me was during the shooting the owner kept shouting, “Keep playing”
 

Kandinskyesque

Tele-Afflicted
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Scotland
A former roadie.

I was in a band in my early 20s full of youthful hi-jinx and exuberance.
Our 'tour bus' was my future brother in law's father's fruit and veg van, it stank of cabbage, weed, kebabs and booze.
Some wild times were had. In particular myself and our young roadie.

Our roadie/gear lugger/drum tech was a young guy from our area trying to find a way into the band scene after leaving school.
Eventually he done rather well from his humble start with us and went on to play drums with a major selling Britpop band in the late 90s/early 00s.
I met him for the first time in decades at our drummer's 50th birthday party and we were having a catch up.

I asked him for some stories of life in the music business.

"It's been great, I'm very lucky" he said "Some wild times but nothing compared to the 'Fruit Van Tours'. That was an apprenticeship and a half."

I felt very proud to have contributed to his 'musical education'.
 

dsutton24

Doctor of Teleocity
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Illinois
During my college years I was a rhythm player in a band. And I do mean rhythm, I didn't stray from the straight and narrow, as long as I stayed in my lane I was fine. The other guitarist was damned good, and really the bass player and drummer were also good.

Well, anyway... We were doing Bad Moon Risin', and the other guitarist stepped on his cable and broke the end off the plug. He was scrambling around trying to get the amp turned down, dig out a new cable, and get back to work. And it happened. I tried to pick up the solo. About the first four bars went okay, it was nearly recognizable as music. Somehow or another it kind of morphed into a combination of Sweet Home Alabama and the Sesame Street theme. After three or four eternities we got back on track, and the song died a merciful death.

"Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for Lynard Fogerty!"

Yep, I'm that good.
 

AAT65

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West Lothian, Scotland
We used to play with a really good drummer (he had gigs with other bands, he was just helping us out when we got started) but every time we played he would say (before an XYZ cover) "Any XYZ fans out there?... Then we apologise in advance." And I saw him with one of his other bands and he trotted out the same line again...🤦‍♂️

Another drummer in an earlier band: we went for a meal after a rehearsal.
Drummer: what are the Baked Dough Balls?
Waitress: those are Balls of Dough which have been Baked.
Drummer: OK I'll have those then.
🤦‍♂️
 

Fiesta Red

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Guitarist who got blasted drunk during a gig:
Man, I couldn’t hear my amp toward the end of the show…
He didn’t like my reply, “That’s because you were so drunk that you were playing a different song than the rest of us, so I turned your amp down to 0. We aren’t a jazz band—we have to play the same song at the same time.

Guitarist who replaced drunken guitarist, right before the biggest show we’d played in years:
Hey! I need about ten minutes carved out of the second set…I’ve been working on some solo banjo stuff and I want to perform them…
I was going to say no anyway, but what solidified the BIG NO was when he informed us that one of the songs he’d worked up was a rendition of John Lennon’s “Imagine”…
When he said that, I said, “I can’t even imagine that happening…not tonight or ever, for that matter.”
In spite of my refusal, he had the gall to commandeer two mics and start playing his “solo banjo set” at the end of the third set…suddenly, the drummer decided he needed to do a mic check on his drums, and did a Buddy Rich imitation.
Guitarist whined about that disrespect and the fact that he got no extra pay for bringing an undersized PA (which he volunteered for free, but then decided he needed to be paid for).

He also whined that it “was too hot to play…”
We are playing an outdoor gig in Texas, in late May, dude…Be glad it wasn’t a month later!

I forgot to call him for any more gigs after that.
 

Telekarster

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Back in 1969 I was in a band that had a regular Saturday gig at the Holiday Inn in Meridian, Ms.

It was probably our 12th or so show. There was a couple that sat at a table up front, always nice, requested songs we knew, and tipped nicely.

Everything was going nicely when this woman (the man’s wife) walked up the couple’s table, said something, pulled out a pistol and shot both of them. *where do you hide on a 9x9 stage while holding a SG when gunfire erupts?*
After the excitement had subsided, the shooter was restrained, the cops arrived, the medics carried the victims away (both had superficial injuries) the bass player said into the mic, “If you don’t like what we’re playing just ask and we’ll try something else”. That cleared the heavy emotion in the room and all went well for the rest of the night

The funniest part to me was during the shooting the owner kept shouting, “Keep playing”

Wow man! I wish I could've given you a laughing face AND a WOW face on this one! Ah yes.... the good old Holiday Inn circuit, where the lounges were known for their "activities" ;) Good old days LOL!!! I do miss the neon signs though!
 

MTPoteet

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My dirty little secret?
I'm now the frontman ( trio, only guitar & lead singer), and definitely guilty of going down the same path, on a few tunes...
Gotta watch it!
Never having to do it myself, I'm sure it's not easy coming up with new banter every night.

";)SOMEBODY SCREAM OUT THERE"
 

Midgetje94

Friend of Leo's
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Jun 22, 2021
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Texas
"C**k Sucker"

Used innocently by a bandmate in a gay bar.
Couple years ago our drummer signed us up for a city event. It wasn’t disclosed that it was the city “Pride” event. Now I’m not knocking nobody. Not goin down that rabbit hole.

But no one really wanted to be there. Don’t know if the drummer knew or not. Probably just saw a gig offer. But we were there, couldn’t just walk away. We tried to play it. 1 song in, singer walks to me and asks “you know “Lola” right?” I laugh and grab my acoustic. Me and him do a duo acoustic version of the Kink’s Lola. Quickly got waved off by city employees.

Probably burned bridges with city gigs. But we’re talked about for the next few weeks. But allowed us to bow out of a gig
 

StoneH

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Wow man! I wish I could've given you a laughing face AND a WOW face on this one! Ah yes.... the good old Holiday Inn circuit, where the lounges were known for their "activities" ;) Good old days LOL!!! I do miss the neon signs though!

I don't think we were on a circuit, but we did play Holiday Inns in Natchez and Baton Rouge regularly. They were pretty laid back compared to the bottle clubs we went to after playing. I don't have bottle club stories because I can't remember any.
 

Jakedog

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The North Coast
Drummer in a jam band twenty five years ago, substances were involved-

“Dude. I think that part should switch from a triple meat feel to a duple meal.”

We still play together regularly.



Bassist- “I want to straighten this out. We’ve never played it the same way twice.”

Singer- “Dave’s never played it the same way ONCE.”


Steel player after the first song when the whole bar was eerily silent-

“So quiet you could hear a cough drop.”

Same steel player- “Don’t forget to tip your server! She may not be good looking, but she can’t cook either.”
 

LGOberean

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I’ve been a solo performer (not to be confused with a performer of solos) for almost a decade now, so band stories go back a ways. And “band” meant mostly duos. The more successful duo configuration ended badly, so it’s hard to think of pleasant anecdotes from that one. But there is one that comes to mind…

We were playing a coffee shop that had no actual stage, just an area set aside for us to set up. As you can imagine space was limited. I had two guitars “on stage” with me, and I was in the process of changing guitars (from a dreadnought to a tele). I strapped on my tele and turned back to my mic stand, only to get tangled up in one of my cables.

I tried to get free of it but lost my balance and fell. As I was falling, I actually twisted around so that I wouldn’t land on my guitar. So I hit the floor on my backsides. Being in my late 50s at the time, people literally gasped when the old man went down. I immediately got back to my feet and made an exaggerated show of checking over my tele, then stepped up to my microphone and said, “Don’t worry, ladies and gentlemen; my guitar’s alright.” We finished the show, and as I recall, we got pretty good tips that night. ;)

One other story. There was another duo I did for a while with a friend named Ed White. Our relationship stayed good, but he moved some time ago from Corpus Christi, Texas to Maryland, so that ended that duo. We performed together in retirement homes. Ed had connections with some local musicians that formed the house band of the South Texas Opry show, held at the Shriner’s Al Amin temple. He arranged an audition for me to perform on the show, which I passed and played on their show several times, as well as on another opry show in a nearby town.

That first night, they introduced me as a newcomer to the show. I stepped up to the mic onstage and said, “Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, yes, my name is Larry Overton, and I was recommended by my friend Ed White [as I pointed in his direction in the audience]. So thank you in advance if you enjoy my performance, and I’ll be glad to talk to you after the show. If you don’t enjoy what I do, well, “talk to Mr. Ed.” :rolleyes:

A 60 year old sit-com reference (search the interwebs for it if you need to), but the line totally worked with that audience. The drummer of the house band gave me a rimshot on that one.


EDIT: Sorry, I didn't read close enough the OPs parameters/thread title. I took it as memorable quotes or anecdotes about former band situations. Feel free to ignore this post.
 
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Preacher

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"Rehearsing is for sissies"

"Playing in tune is just another bourgeoise concept"
I remember sitting in at a church one time as a guest. The bass player was playing some funky notes and I kept looking over to see if he was playing the right note or not. On one specific long note I looked over, we were all supposed to be playing a D. He had his finger in the right spot but it was not a D. It was not quite an Eb but close to Eb than D.
We finish the set and go back to the green room. Not trying to overstep I discreetly asked the bass player about his bass. We chatted a little bit and then I asked if the intonation was spot on and I told him what I had observed.
He looked confused and asked what intonation was. I explained and told him that his intonation must be off. Then he said something that shocked me.
He said, "It can't be off, I just had strings put on it last summer."
I asked, "so when you tuned this morning it was on pitch?"
He said, "I told you, I had new strings put on it last summer so it doesn't need to be tuned."
I just nodded and went to get coffee. Before the second set I snuck in with a snark and tuned his bass to pitch. The second set went much better.
 

Masmus

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A band mate had a few too many beers and was trying to say "birds of a feather flock together" but came out "herds flock".
 




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