"Mandatory" Office Party

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Dan R, Nov 29, 2018.

  1. RLee77

    RLee77 Friend of Leo's

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    On the other hand, you might be risking missing out on something good, like what happened to me several years ago... my manager was trying to convince me to attend one of our big studio-wide meetings where it's mostly just a "pat everyone on the back, touch base" type of thing, probably about 300-400 people. I generally don't go to every one of those, being busy and wanting to get real work done, and those get-togethers don't really provide any new/useful info; I just occasionally go. I was going to skip this one, but my manager was acting a bit weird, trying to convince me that it would be a fun one, but acting nonchalant about it, and I kept saying I had stuff I needed to do, and he finally said, "I'll walk down with you...", and I agreed, just to make him happy. So partway through the meeting, they flash a giant pic of me on the big screen (huge theater-sized room), and it turns out I was given an award for helping get a product through a very difficult period of time... surprised the heck out of me. It was really funny thinking back how my manager had tried to convince me without spoiling the surprise.

    As matter of fact we're having one of those meetings today, but luckily I'm working from home today. :D
     
  2. 3fngrs

    3fngrs Friend of Leo's

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    "Oh! SIT with the band! Sorry! I must've misheard. Could be the boilermakers."
     
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  3. CK Dexter Haven

    CK Dexter Haven Friend of Leo's

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    I work "on call" for a local firm, there are a number of "consultants" who do the same thing. Every year we are included in the X-mas party, which is nice, every year those who have been with the firm are recognized for 5, 10, 15...... years service, Last 4-5 years I notice they are including the consultants in this.. I have been there for at least 25 years, nada. Ok NBD clerical oversight. I forget about it until my coordinator,( who gives out the service awards) mentions in a meeting two summers ago that I have been there longer than him, "Yep 25 years or better" "wow long time.. I don't think I have ever given a serivce award for more then 15"..No no you haven't... "huh.. imagine 25 years". Didn't get one last year either.. first world problem I know, but I don't think I will be going to the party this year.. I can also see my availability becoming more limited. If they present me with a big check or something they have my address.
     
  4. Dan R

    Dan R Poster Extraordinaire

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    Here's an update, if anyone is interested. Sure enough, the office manager is doing a headcount. Guess how she does this? She texts everyone on Sunday afternoon. That's right a text, not an email. Seems to be intent on bothering people on the weekend. It looks like me and another guy are not going, while another guy is iffy. We have 10 people altogether.

    Are ready for the fun part? Of course you are and here it is: She is bringing 6 people, including her parents. She has encouraged all employees to bring their families. Now I don't mean to be harsh, but who in the World does this? Who has a desire to meet their coworkers families? It's one thing if they are friends and that's how it happens, but it's another to be contrived and thrown together like this.

    Then she comes into my office and tells me how much they will miss me. Is that a passive/aggressive threat? At this point I don't know nor do I care. The she goes, "It's OK, there will be other times." No there won't. This woman is such a phony it's insufferable. I am never going to something like this. She has got it in her head that we need to be more of a close knit group. Even if that is true, she isn't the one to take on that task.

    Finally, she dropped the order to bring food. Maybe the owner told her he'd take care of everything. Here is the last wrinkle of my tale, there are 3 partners there and an owner. As you might imagine, too many chiefs and not enough Indians. Thanks for reading and for the reflections.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2018
  5. GGardner

    GGardner Tele-Afflicted

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    Do you mind saying what type of job do you have?
     
  6. Dan R

    Dan R Poster Extraordinaire

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    I am a salesman for an electronics firm. We have office personnel, techs and sales in my company.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2018
  7. Larry F

    Larry F Doctor of Teleocity Vendor Member

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    When I was beginning my teaching career, I had two adjunct (non-tenure track) positions at two schools in Chicago. Both schools made use of part-time faculty like me to teach some undergrad classes. One school treated me well, in general, and invited me to participate in concerts and other activities alongside the tenured faculty. Then I got involved with the Honors Program, and got hooked into attending a few all day workshops in which nothing was accomplished (except me meeting more adjuncts from different areas).

    The other school (where Kanye's mother taught) had a highly dysfunctional department, with two tenured faculty and maybe 10 of us adjuncts. Every semester, we met on a Saturday with the faculty and all of the TAs. The woman who ran the department had some interesting characteristics, that led to her being administratively moved to a new department of her own. Huge ego. She would hire a caterer (the food was always good) and have various people talk about different programs available for student assistance, etc. Same old routines, over and over.

    UNTIL

    As I said, the chair was an egomaniac who loved being the center of attention. At the last meeting I ever attended, one of the speakers was one of our TAs. She invited him to the front of the room to make his little pitch for how TAs worked. He gets up there and stands next to the chair in which she was sitting. After she introduced him, he thanks her, and then goes to smoothly rub his hand along her shoulder, in a petting sort of way. It was borderline weird. But then it got really weird, as his hand took a nose-dive toward the breast area. While caressing, he smoothly, ever so smoothly, let his hand drift on down there. He didn't slide under the fabric, but we were all waiting for it. It was really, really shocking. It was obvious that they had been having an affair (she at 50, he at 20), which emboldened him somehow to show this to the world.

    I don't remember her reaction, but I'm pretty sure she didn't react at the time. After the event, I imagine there was hell to pay, but I never heard.

    Later on, I got a tenure-track job where I am now, and served as Honors Advisor for a few years. We had a celebration for graduating Honors students twice a year. By this time, I had learned the art and science of getting face time with the deans. I remember arriving, getting in line to shake the dean's hand, shaking said hand, making some quick small talk, then turn around and walk back out the door.

    It was kind of funny/sad to see all the non-tenured or new people feeling that they had to attend every reception, celebration, etc. Face time. I would advise any adjuncts out there hoping to land a tenure-track gig, to maximize their situation by getting as much face time as they could. Our field is small enough, that one can have a network of colleagues that spans the globe. In other words, people talk, and universities are often on the lookout for a person who will fit right in. That's why new faculty should go to everything they can, because you never know when you'll make that one connection that opens everything up for you.
     
  8. Old Deaf Roadie

    Old Deaf Roadie Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    Every competent HR professional will assert that your coworkers ARE NOT FAMILY unless you actually are family & share DNA. Just went through that at my job because of an incompetent manager, who actually had to go hire an HR counsellor to do his job for him for an issue that any $25k/year small time retail assistant manager could have easily handled. the sad thing is that the manager was allowed to keep his job.
     
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  9. 3-Chord-Genius

    3-Chord-Genius Poster Extraordinaire

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    1) Arrange a ride home in advance.
    2) Show up at the party with your girlfriend and get absolutely smashed on alcohol, make out with her in front of everyone else, and refuse to leave until the party is over.
     
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  10. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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  11. EsquireOK

    EsquireOK Friend of Leo's

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    If you're on salary, she's got every right. If you're hourly, just don't show up. You don't need to explain yourself. Just don't show.
     
  12. smsuryan

    smsuryan Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    He says you’re family, eh? Yknow...Manson had a family..
    Lots of ways to outta this or at least a way to take you off next years list...bring a crappy gift or awful food...show up drunk...suggest strip poker or something else nutty while you’re there...tell him you’re volunteering on that day...say you’re relative from the armed forces is coming into town and you have to be there...or if you have an HR dept I’d ask them..a mandatory party off the company property just doesn’t sound very legal...if someone drinks too much and gets in a wreck he could partially liable, or so I’d assume??
     
  13. beach bob

    beach bob Friend of Leo's

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    OK I realize you've made your choice, but it would be awesome to have a couple webcams scattered around the party space, to watch her relatives grow weary of the charade being put upon them, and start in with the 'can we leave now?' looks. Miss Thing is liable to have a meltdown, perhaps not at the party, but somewhere, as this whole house of cards of forced familial closeness comes crashing down around her. For surely it will.

    To reiterate my 2c... a conversation with HR would be appropriate. Unless this outfit is too small to have one, and that's a major red flag right there. HR exists *to protect the company* from overbearing and ill-intentioned people like Miss Thing. If management hasn't seen the wisdom to have someone establish a roadmap of employee conduct thru a HR dept., I'd be 1) seeking other employment, and 2) in the meantime, talking to a lawyer that specializes in employee rights, just in case...
     
  14. Guitarzan

    Guitarzan Poster Extraordinaire

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    Grasshoppa, you must learn the art of cool and zen. Keep your mouth shut about how you feel, say you are looking forward to party, and then no show up for party.

    You should probably find another job as well.
     
  15. Pualee

    Pualee Tele-Holic

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    If it is mandatory - then you gotta be paid.
     
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