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Lost my big brother

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Colo Springs E, Dec 5, 2020.

  1. Colo Springs E

    Colo Springs E Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    My older brother Scott passed earlier this week. He had a procedure done on a foot ulcer about a month ago. Infection set in, and things went into a quick descent from there. It was shocking how, every day it seemed, something new was going wrong with his body. The last week or so of his life was a real battle for him; it really started becoming clear to me that we might lose him.

    We lived a long ways from each other and so we only saw each other about every year to 18 months or so. I'm glad I at least got to see him over the Summer. Of course, I had no idea it would be the last time.

    Dealing with death is such a weird thing. You think of all the memories, and you wonder what you would have done differently had you known how little time was left. If you knew someone important to you was going to die one year from today... what would you do differently? You'd probably try to see them or at least talk to them more often than you normally would have. You'd likely say things like, "I love you" and "you are really a good [brother / friend / husband / wife]" more often. Maybe you'd put more effort into arranging a get-away or short vacation together.

    The thing is, you usually don't know how much time is left. Like I said above, I'm glad I got to see him over the Summer, but I never thought it could be our last time together. I am always more inclined to think that about our 87 year old dad-- who continues to beat the odds.

    Life is strange. Death, more so.

    Scott and I did do a good job staying in touch by texting and calling. At least weekly, usually more often than that. I'm so glad we never let the miles separate us completely from each other.

    We were wired very differently. He was an engineer, and very good at figuring things out, fixing things, very mechanically inclined... I'm hopeless with that stuff. Our views on some of the heavier topics were very different... and yet, none of our conversations about such things ever became heated.

    He was kind and caring, and universally loved. He was so selfless, always willing to help anyone out.

    He was a good big brother, always watching out for me when we were little guys. I'm sure you'll all agree this is about the best picture ever. Portland, Arkansas, 1969 or '70... Scott was in the 5th grade, I was in 3rd. He's the good looking one to your left.

    Still can't believe I'll never see him again. Rest in peace, Scott. Best big brother ever.


    RusScotMeBrks.jpg
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2020
  2. harpdog

    harpdog Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

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    I am sorry. It is a shock and hard to take. My big brother went suddenly and also unexpectedly 5 years ago, and the feelings are hard to take. Be at peace and reach out to the others you love.
    Chris
     
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  3. P Thought

    P Thought Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    I'm sorry, E.
    That's a hard loss.
     
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  4. richiek65

    richiek65 Friend of Leo's

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    So so sorry..
     
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  5. Harry Styron

    Harry Styron Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

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    I’m so sorry.
     
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  6. ping-ping-clicka

    ping-ping-clicka Friend of Leo's Ad Free Member

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    Thank you for sharing this. I am sorry for your lose. The love that you have for your brother very clear. Blessings.
     
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  7. donrichfan

    donrichfan Tele-Meister Gold Supporter

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    Sorry to hear of your loss.
     
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  8. brookdalebill

    brookdalebill Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    I’m very sorry for your loss.
    I’m glad your relationship with your brother was good.
    I treasure my three wonderful sisters.
    RIP, Scott.
     
  9. raysachs

    raysachs Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    So sorry to hear. I fear when my big brother’s time comes, assuming he doesn't outlive me, but he’s 12 years older so the odds are he goes first. Same with my 14 year older sister, who I’ll also miss, but I don’t talk to her near as much. They’re so much older that when I was a little kid it was almost like having two sets of parents rather than siblings. But since our folks are gone 15 & 20 years now, we’re much more like siblings. But they’re both in their mid-70’s now and when they go, I’m not gonna ever be able to talk to anyone the way I’ve been able to with them over the years. I know damn well I’ll miss them and I dread the day. But then I guess I’d be the remaining patriarch to my nieces, so I’ll have a bigger role, but not one I relish.

    Glad you got to see your brother recently. It’s a stark reminder to appreciate those we love when they’re around. We’ll miss them when they’re gone and we never know when that day is coming - for them or us...

    -Ray
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2020
  10. carpenter

    carpenter Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

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    I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my brother 20 years ago and still feel the loss.
    Hopes and Prayers for you and your entire family. Hang in there.
     
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  11. dburns

    dburns Friend of Leo's

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    Really sorry to hear this, my sincere condolences.

    I do appreciate the perspective and reminder to not take our time with family and friends for granted.
     
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  12. Jakedog

    Jakedog Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Oh, Eric. I’m so sorry, man.
     
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  13. studio1087

    studio1087 Telefied Silver Supporter

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    You have my deepest condolences, I can’t even imagine what it has to feel like. Bless you man hang in there and again sincere condolences.
     
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  14. HoodieMcFoodie

    HoodieMcFoodie Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Sorry for your loss.
     
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  15. max_twang

    max_twang Tele-Afflicted

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    That was a lovely tribute to your brother.

    I'm so sorry for your loss.
     
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  16. olewaylonfan74

    olewaylonfan74 TDPRI Member

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    So very sorry for your loss,E. May he rest in peace.
     
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  17. tah1962

    tah1962 Friend of Leo's

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    Sorry for your loss.
     
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  18. tintag27

    tintag27 Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    I feel for you, this is a terrible loss.
    This post strikes a chilling chord in me. My elder brother is my hero, and has looked after me all my life. Like your brother he is also an engineer and a very capable and practical man. He led the way for me as kids, first into photography, then into music, and then into computers. I don't know how I could have managed without his help and guidance...
     
  19. Bluego1

    Bluego1 Tele-Afflicted

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    Really sorry, man. Going through it now with my big sister. Without hijacking your thread too severely, suffice to say she beat all odds by surviving stage 4 esophageal cancer about 10 years ago but it just came back. Inoperable. Could be anytime, could be some months. She’s in New Mexico and this pandemic sucks for travel. Trying to figure out what to do. Talking with her is very surreal, knowing what we both know.
    Again, so sorry for your loss man. What an unreal, crappy year.
     
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  20. tery

    tery Doctor of Teleocity

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    Wishing you and your family peace and comfort .
     
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