This is all pretty much how I work. But you have to commite the song to memory before you attempt to play it. Do it in short pieces, particularly the solos, and you get through it eventually. Work at your own speed, don't rush through the process.Start by paying attention to what the Bass is doing. In many songs the Bass is sticking pretty close to the root note of whatever chord is needed.
For the most part I'm self taught pretty much by listening and repeating.