"It would be great if you could sit in"

Lou Tencodpees

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Said my long time former bandmate/brother in law. I'm going to be in town to visit and he has a gig. I did it a couple of years ago and had a blast. A bunch of old friends attended, saw people I had not seen in decades. I know how to lay back enough when I'm not 100% on material, so I think musically speaking it went good.

I'm also friends and former bandmate with the guitarist (it's a 3 pc organ trio). The drummer is an easy going cool cat with great chops.

I would love to do this but am going to pass. I just can't get a read beyond my brother in law's enthusiasm. This is a different club and I don't know how they'd feel about unexpected sit ins. I don't want to blow their chances for future gigs or create any tensions in the band.

I told my brother in law that I really appreciate the invite but was going to pass citing some physical issues I've been having (also true).

I hate it, but think it's the right thing to do. Am I over-thinking this?

You ever have to make the logical choice of NOT sitting in?
 

Si G X

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If it were me, I'd just sit in on a few songs. I don't see any harm in that.

I did that a few years back in my mate's band, I picked the ones I thought I could be 100% on, it was a lot of fun but I wouldn't have wanted to do the whole gig.
 

57joonya

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I have felt the same as you , amd done the same . Sometimes bringing a guitar and just feeling it out is not a bad option. If you then get the vibe that the other band mates wouldn’t care for a guest , then just decline. But U have your guitar there for the option
 

dogmeat

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yeah... go and play a couple songs. if its working, stick around. if not, its easy to bow out and the band can make whatever apologies required (if any) (doubt it).
 

T Prior

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I also don't see any reason NOT TO be prepared to sit in, but it does depend on the scenario at the moment.

IF you sit it in and it adds to the moment or at least doesn't subtract , then its a good thing. If you are not attempting to be the STAR performer then all should be good, its fun. If the music is a match and you can blend in then for certain do it.

Just don't play an SRV solo in the middle of "Take It Easy" ! LOL ---
 

teletimetx

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Yep, I think you're overthinking this.

Sometimes, as crazy as this seems, people say exactly what they mean. "It would be great if you could sit in".

He's your brother-in-law, not your mother.

Fair question to respond to your b-i-l: "you mean it? Given my propensity for overthinking and my current maladies that beset me, how about I sit in for just a couple? Maybe you could pick a few that you think might fit best, seeing as how we used to be bandmates?"

Easy.
 

Lou Tencodpees

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The event in question came and went. I chose to be a spectator but did sit in with them at a rehearsal prior to the gig. The venue previously was doing solo or duo acoustic acts and this was their first night with a full band in a few years. I think my presence would have been a little clunky while they tried to keep it reeled in. Had fun at the jam anyways.

Thanks for the responses.
 




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