It feels so to really be heard by another person (to overstate the obvious once again)

ping-ping-clicka

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The fact that everything said here is true is also the reason I, personally, am fed up with the whole legal system of "Who can we blame", "How can we make some bread out of this, etc., etc.

ping-ping-clicka,
Find out if they have something you could sign that would wave the right of your survivors to penalize the hospital and staff for doing something you specifically gave them permission to do. You may need an assessment about your mental state at the time of your request to the doctors. It's just because of our freakin' legal system and the inherent greed of law firms that make this step a necessity. I truly wish you the best and hope you become healthy and live another 20+ years, but, I also hear you and respect your right to make this type of end of life decision. If my wife passes before I do and I'm not burdened with how will she make it without me questions I'm sure my desire to go out in a quiet and peaceful manner would top any need to live another day just to live another day.
Thank you for taking the time post about my personal drama drama drama drama drama drama, again ....
There is no hurry, as you have noticed when the wheels of justice turn they move at the rate that Olympus decides unless your name is Dennis Banks , Fred Hampton , Karen Silkwood.
 

Timbresmith1

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I Was talkin' to the # 1 cutter at the surgery department and her #1 assistant at the chop shop. And... Mr. ping ping we can't do the surgery because your breathing prohibits your being anesthetized because you could die as a result of your breathing.
She seemed concerned about my well being.
I said that's o.k with me Doctor Katana, but hey it's o.k. with me either way not now or maybe latter , but, from my perspective we can just go ahead and do it now because either way the ostomy issue will be resolved and we can eliminate all the waiting around.
Why don't we do it now either way the outcome is fine with me .
(I'm 74 years old and I have had a very entertaining life and I'm cool with today and not having another day afterward).
" Dr. Katana you have described a win/win situation to the perceived conundrum, either way it's win/ win."

She heard me and she understood that I was telling her the truth , of my perspective, that live or die it was all the same to me.
You see death on the table is painless , no pain, no suffering no bearing the weight of this mortal coil for another day and I get to lay my burden down as the spiritual goes, or a completed surgery with a resolved colostomy.
Dr. Katana got really quiet an I knew that she heard me, knowing that I wasn't half stepping.
It's a true story. She said when you can walk up two flights of stairs without being short of breath, we'll schedule the surgery.

When I was in the Cancer support group we had a really high rate of turn over do to the mortality rate of participating members in the group.
My fellow group members suffered a lot because they couldn't resolve themselves to being mortal. They were terrified of Death and suffered greatly as a result.
I am not a stranger to being mortal or the deep down and dirty blues in my life, having to live with PTSD my whole life , suicidal ideation was the scrap yard dog that was my best friend. I saw cancer as a possible ticket out of the rat race, I had been in recovery from drug addiction and alcoholism for decades , I'd seen my friends die along the way from "road wear", I had made friends with Mr Death, and I had made my peace with what's on the menu today, rain or shine.
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She may not want your “Sliding into the infinite” on her W-L record. As much as we often think of docs as body mechanics, they still have to go home at night, and they have to sit in front of Ethics boards before non-emergency stuff that could go sideways gets scheduled.
Always pulling for you. This place is better for your being here.
 

blowtorch

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no point in denying one's date with fate, but no point in being in a rush for it either, it'll happen soon enough
plenty earlier than most of us think

yet yeah. there is a certain power in saying "i consent"
 

Hodgo88

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I know that junkyard dog all too well. Started as a kid, scary at first, but after a while he's your dog and you'll be damned if you let him go - after all, how else might you stay warm on your coldest nights? Helps make you feel like the master of your destiny in an otherwise out of control world.
 

Jupiter

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When I was 20 the concept of mortality was frankly outrageous; at 60 it’s starting to seem, well, not all that bad. I remember my 90-year-old gramma expressing that sentiment when I was a teenager, and I just couldn’t fathom it…
 
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