LGOberean
Doctor of Teleocity
In my case, it’s my wife of 49 years. she’s no shrinking violet, and she can be quite chatty if she knows you or is really comfortable with her environment. But she is essentially more introvert than extrovert.
And yet she is quite capable of making quips that are positively startling coming from her or coming up with a humdinger of a zinger.
Over the course of our nearly five decades of wedded bliss several examples of what I’m talking about have occurred. Right off the top of my head I can think of two instances from decades ago, but yet another incidence occurred just the other day. Here they are, in chronological order.
Going back to Father’s Day in 1978, my wife gave me a Father’s Day card. The outside of the card showed a guy kicked back in his recliner, beer in hand, with his wife planting a kiss on his forehead as she was walking by. The caption underneath it read, “Who says you’re not handy around the house?” Opening it up, the punch line read, “You’re a father, aren’t you?”
That same year, I had a vasectomy. At the time we lived in a small town about 90 minutes away from Corpus Christi, and both of our parents lived here. We came to Corpus to get the procedure done, and let our folks watch their grandkids, while we spent a night or two in a motel.
I drove myself to the procedure, and then drove myself back to the motel. I lay down for a nap. When I awoke, my wife was there beside me, and she handed me a card. Warily, I read the outside. A doctor was seated behind his desk, with quite a look of consternation on his face. His little headlamp device thingy was all askew. The caption read “I’ve spoken with your doctor, and frankly, he’s very upset…”
Opening the card, the punch line read, “…you’ve got to stop telling him to kiss it and make it feel better!”
Okay, fast forward to this past Friday. Yes, Veteran’s Day, which also happens to be my birthday. For me, it was largely a day like any other, aside from my reaching the last year of my 60s.
One thing different in the day was trying to breed our rabbits. We have two relatively new does and a new buck. We tried to breed them, and the buck was quickly on board with the idea, but the does just weren’t having it. One doe just wouldn’t sit still for it, wouldn’t lift up her tail for him. The other doe even became somewhat aggressive towards the buck. So we gave up on the attempt for the day.
That evening, my oldest daughter called to wish me a happy birthday. I put her on speakerphone and came into the living room where my wife was sitting. My daughter asked what I did with my day, and my wife blurted out,
“Tell her I tried to show you some action today, but it didn’t work!”
Our daughter immediately exclaimed, “I don’t think I want to hear about THAT!” To which I quickly replied, “Our rabbitry! We tried to breed the rabbits, but it didn’t work!”
(That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.)
Yeah, it’s the quiet ones ya gotta watch…
And yet she is quite capable of making quips that are positively startling coming from her or coming up with a humdinger of a zinger.
Over the course of our nearly five decades of wedded bliss several examples of what I’m talking about have occurred. Right off the top of my head I can think of two instances from decades ago, but yet another incidence occurred just the other day. Here they are, in chronological order.
Going back to Father’s Day in 1978, my wife gave me a Father’s Day card. The outside of the card showed a guy kicked back in his recliner, beer in hand, with his wife planting a kiss on his forehead as she was walking by. The caption underneath it read, “Who says you’re not handy around the house?” Opening it up, the punch line read, “You’re a father, aren’t you?”
That same year, I had a vasectomy. At the time we lived in a small town about 90 minutes away from Corpus Christi, and both of our parents lived here. We came to Corpus to get the procedure done, and let our folks watch their grandkids, while we spent a night or two in a motel.
I drove myself to the procedure, and then drove myself back to the motel. I lay down for a nap. When I awoke, my wife was there beside me, and she handed me a card. Warily, I read the outside. A doctor was seated behind his desk, with quite a look of consternation on his face. His little headlamp device thingy was all askew. The caption read “I’ve spoken with your doctor, and frankly, he’s very upset…”
Opening the card, the punch line read, “…you’ve got to stop telling him to kiss it and make it feel better!”
Okay, fast forward to this past Friday. Yes, Veteran’s Day, which also happens to be my birthday. For me, it was largely a day like any other, aside from my reaching the last year of my 60s.
One thing different in the day was trying to breed our rabbits. We have two relatively new does and a new buck. We tried to breed them, and the buck was quickly on board with the idea, but the does just weren’t having it. One doe just wouldn’t sit still for it, wouldn’t lift up her tail for him. The other doe even became somewhat aggressive towards the buck. So we gave up on the attempt for the day.
That evening, my oldest daughter called to wish me a happy birthday. I put her on speakerphone and came into the living room where my wife was sitting. My daughter asked what I did with my day, and my wife blurted out,
“Tell her I tried to show you some action today, but it didn’t work!”
Our daughter immediately exclaimed, “I don’t think I want to hear about THAT!” To which I quickly replied, “Our rabbitry! We tried to breed the rabbits, but it didn’t work!”
(That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.)
Yeah, it’s the quiet ones ya gotta watch…
