Is anybody else in recovery or clean and sober?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Suicideking, Feb 26, 2011.

  1. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    My wife is a drinker and she had the same thoughts, wanted to drink and decided this was best processed sober.

    Tonight though, I may get home from work and find her getting drunk.
    Can’t control the world around me so I’ll just try to control my reactions to it!
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2021
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  2. Guitardvark

    Guitardvark Tele-Afflicted Platinum Supporter

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    22 years for me... and recently had to rat a co worker out for drinking on the job. didn't make me feel good but I cant let someone put my life and safety at risk drinking at work. Of course Im the bad guy in everyone else's view bec I ratted someone out for being a drinking slob on the job. I do it again and suffer thru the contempt. My life is better for it :)
     
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  3. Big_Bend

    Big_Bend Poster Extraordinaire

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    Hey I also live in Houston and am currently looking for a job. If your coworker gets fired for drinking on the job, hit me up please. :twisted:

    Seriously tho, you did good.. companies cannot have drunks at work on the payroll.. just too much liability if this alcoholic is travelling to or from work or at lunch, gets in an accident and someone gets injured... I would think there are very good chances the company would be held liable.. which could put the company's existence and everyone's job at risk. People like that need to be cut loose for everyone else's sake.

    Who cares if your other coworkers now have contempt... Again, you did good.

    take care
     
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  4. Allan Allan

    Allan Allan Tele-Afflicted

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    I listened to a webinar on coping with stress during a Pandemic (I'm in insurance so I have access to all kinds of webinars). The host said 6 in 10 people were drinking during business hours in April-June. It's happening a lot these days.
     
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  5. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Not only the uptick in day drinkin' but a lotta folks are just figuring out that they can't stand the person they married.
     
  6. spellcaster

    spellcaster Tele-Holic

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    I appreciate all the responses to the issue I posted regarding my daughter's reaction to my personal path to remaining clean and sober. A quick update: After a prolonged period of coldness, my daughter contacted me and has made an effort to reestablish our family relationship. She's finally adopted a mature attitude that I should do what works for me and she won't be judgemental about it. She is still sticking with her program and is actively working toward recovery and I'm proud of her.

    I didn't intend to start a debate about the relative merits of different varieties of CBD versus what some forum members are calling the "fun variety" of the stuff. I don't want to violate the forum's rules and the moderator's sensitivities to the subject. I'll simply say that having tried CBD, which seems cloaked in more medical respectability, it hasn't been effective for me. But, I'll also add, I recently went through some grueling times having to move over Christmas, but didn't use it as an excuse to use. I honestly don't treat it as a recreational activity, and it's been almost two months since I needed to use it for pain relief.

    Lastly, I just want to recognize forum member Deeve, who corresponded privately with me when I was having this recent issue with my daughter. He's been very supportive in a sponsorial way and I appreciate his time and effort. It demonstrates the best, most positive aspect of the program, with one addict helping another. I thank him, and I also want to express gratitude to the administrators of the forum for allowing this "epic thread" to continue. It represents an important service to the recovery community.
     
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  7. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    A nice thing about 12 step programs is the no opinions/ no requirement for membership/ suggestions based process.

    A big part of where I'm coming from is working in the service structure.
    The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop whatever we choose to identify the problem as.
    In service though, when we take on the more delicate task of representing a 12 step program to medical and law enforcement professionals, there are additional requirements.

    I've been trained and elected to do stuff like present new services to prison officials, and negotiate with them on how we can bring 12 step services into their environment, without compromising their structure or 12 step program structure.

    In that context, my recovery is held to perhaps more specific requirements, than "membership".
    Once we study and work both the Steps and the Traditions, over and over, we are likely to find new understandings of what membership and service mean to us.

    At times I might want to scream at a sponsee when they tell me they decided to move in with a nice girl who can't yet stop using or drinking, explaining to me that "this time/ this girl, is different".
    But I can't scream at them, all I can do in good faith is ask them how it's different, and how they figure their plan is going to play out.

    We (members of 12 step programs) all live in a life and death reality, where the reason 12 step programs exist is that we tend to die horribly after hurting and harming those we love for years and decades.

    So we have two things that are equally valuable, and we protect equally in running meetings and services:

    1) The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop "X".

    2) Our program is a set of principles.

    Members are not required to utilize or value any of the principles.
    Elected Trusted Servants are required to uphold and share all the principles.
    Reading the Steps and Traditions at every meeting is done so that we remember that the program is a set of principles.
    Members can then adopt them if they find them attractive, or reject any and all that they do not find attractive.

    Nether the member who picks and chooses their own set of principles, nor the trusted servants who speak as if all the principles were essential; are wrong.

    Many times I've volunteered to take on a service responsibility, then been offended by the list of requirements associated with that elected position. When after a year of complete abstinence I wanted to join in bringing the message into institutions, I was told that there were requirements I had not chosen in my personal recovery, and it made me mad.
    After some consideration and examining of those who chose to follow the required principles, I concluded that their principles were more attractive than my principles.

    In this process I moved from being a rebel loner to being a part of something much bigger than me.
    And that thing I chose to place above my own individual values?
    It has saved my life, over and over.
     
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  8. Deeve

    Deeve Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    Long, but worth reading.
    Thanks, @telemnemonics for the additional svc work, and clarifying extra duties of the "butt-rusted-servants" to hold a somewhat higher standard (and the reasons why)
    While I've long been a peer counselor (within my licensed profession) chaired & secretaried (even opening my zoom account as host) I haven't followed the dream of working on H&I.
    Like Travis-picking, it's been a goal, w/o the work to reach it.
    Maybe this is the year for one or both. . .
    Peace - Deeve
     
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