Is anybody else in recovery or clean and sober?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Suicideking, Feb 26, 2011.

  1. Willie Johnson

    Willie Johnson Tele-Afflicted

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    Three months sober. Wish me luck. Recovery isn't easy, but it beats being under that cold, hard ground.
     
  2. spellcaster

    spellcaster Tele-Holic

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    I'm feeling pretty bummed out. I joined NA in 2004 and have never used cocaine, my drug of choice, or any other street drugs since then. I've taken pride in my accomplishment and tell people I've been clean for 16 years. Last night, my daughter, who is new in the program, accused me of being dishonest about my recovery because I use small amounts of marijuana to cope with chronic spinal arthritis. I've told her in the past that it was recommended by my doctor and that I never use enough to get stoned, but she persists in believing that I'm not clean. I was upset enough today that I went for counseling which I haven't had to do in years, and tonight, I'm skipping the C/A meeting that I normally attend with her on Friday nights. I'm interested in the opinion of people who've been there....Does using small amounts of pot under a doctor's supervision constitute a failure in my recovery?
     
  3. Deeve

    Deeve Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    Have you spoken w/ sponsor about this?
    Does the doc know you're in recovery?
    Some folks I know use CBD but under rigorous circs.
    I can't make a ruling for you - not sure that she can either.
    Peace - Deeve

    fwiw - I am familiar w/ chronic pain - more familiar than I want
    and I am familiar w/ self-medication - more familiar than I want
    :(
     
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  4. spellcaster

    spellcaster Tele-Holic

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    Deeve:

    I haven't had a sponsor. A friend who used to host the meetings in my home group was as close as I ever came to having a formal sponsor. He passed away about four years ago. The doctor I had at the time I started the program was familiar with my circumstances. She seemed to feel that I could use small amounts of marijuana without threatening my recovery from cocaine addiction. Even back then, my COPD used to make me cough which limited my use of pot. I believe she also felt that there was less of a problem with pot than there would be in using heavy narcotic painkillers.

    Over the years, I've used marijuana very sparingly. In the last calendar year, my consumption over twelve months was less than one ounce. I've been very careful not to use any amounts that would constitute recreational use. If you've ever been a regular pot user, you know that your resistance grows over the years and it takes increasing amounts to continue to get high. The three pulls that I might take occasionally aren't anywhere near the levels that would give a person any gratification.
     
  5. Willie Johnson

    Willie Johnson Tele-Afflicted

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    You know what they call the guy that graduates dead last in their class in medical school?

    Doctor.

    If I had COPD and a doctor that advised me to breathe in things that are on fire, I would find a new doctor. I'd figure that out first.

    I will say that I have been explicitly advised against cannibis use (never developed much of an affinity for it anyway), and that legal does not mean safe or ok or a good choice. Your mileage may vary, and chronic pain is a super complex problem that I'm grateful for not having. Good luck, friend.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2020
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  6. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Sorry (not that I'm that important!), I never saw this pop back up because it's considered a zombie thread.

    My personal recovery is strongly rooted in having no opinion on outside issues like medical advice.

    I have wicked spinal arthritis!
    Really bad and I need to apply for disability because the hours I can work can't cover my living costs.
    There are distinctly two entirely different versions of that stuff you use, only one is fun.
    I only use Tylenol and Aleve fpor my arthritis and degenerative disc disease.
    Oh and curcumin, and fish oil, and glucosamine chondroitin MSM, and minimal refined sugar, and EVOO, and garlic, all the food based anti inflammatory compounds I can get my hands on. I've considered the recently popular stuff you mention.

    Hard to say how to manage the judgement of your child?
    Maybe try family counseling?
    And you didn't say if you use the fun or non fun product.
    Seems pretty durn simple to figure out!
    Choose the right medical care product!
    Not the fun medical care product!
    That is of course my experience based opinion, but with many options there is no reason to choose the typically/ potentially fun option.

    Of course all this is your decision, but motivation IME needs close examination.
    Rationalization and justification when I'm right about something?
    Very tricky to sort out!
    Unfortunately, IME doctors are confused about this stuff, even those who specialize in it.

    Again, close examination of motives!
    Look for signs of rationalization and justification!
    Still happens in my head and I have to be vigilant rooting it out!

    We are not supposed to mention of discuss these products here, so consider that in posting.
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2021
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  7. Deeve

    Deeve Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    Personal experience has told me that trying to "change others thoughts/actions" has been a collossal failure.
    Checking out my personal motivations and a rigorous "this affects my..." interest examination was also useful, to chime in w/ @telemnemonics .

    I can't change my kids' mind.
    I CAN stay in touch w/ my sponsor, and stay open to the honest, loving feedback that happens every time I return to the #4 inventory & #5 sharing process.

    Holy cow - we just started birthday month!
    Local Inter-group to receive $105.03 on Sunday as a tiny token of thanks for the ppl who helped me into the lifeboat.
    Peace - Deeve

    Please don't brand this a "zombie thread" - maybe an occasional classic instead.
     
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  8. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Yeah I didn't mean to brand the thread, just used an often applied term.
    Since the forum software is now set to ignore "new posts" in ongoing threads, it's an observation along with the mods request to not bring up old threads in case some participants are no longer present.
    They sort of let some threads slide, like the aforementioned Tele Home Depot workbench thread.

    These used to be called "epic threads" and there may have even been a category for them?

    I used to post when I had another year anniversary, but I stopped just to avoid adding moderation challenges here.
    I like to check in though if a member is having a struggle with the topic, just missed it earlier this month.
     
  9. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    By "birthday month" do you mean your clean & sober anniversary date?
    If so, early congratulations!

    I got out of my last rehab the day before Christmas 1997, and my whole family told me to stop calling, so i was on my own because they couldn't take the heartbreak any more. A few months later I finally turned my life around...
     
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  10. Willie Johnson

    Willie Johnson Tele-Afflicted

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    Treading lightly here, so if this is outta bounds, I apologize. I'm trying to treat this subject in the correct context, but one observation that I'd like to share: I participate in some online recovery groups, and guess what just about everyone under 35 or so is struggling with? First two guesses don't count.
     
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  11. Allan Allan

    Allan Allan Tele-Afflicted

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    Craft beer?
     
  12. Mjark

    Mjark Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    That's a tough one. I have a friend who uses gummies to deal with chronic pain too. I suppose it'll be more and more common in future. Certainly narcotics aren't an option for people like us to deal with chronic pain. I think it's probably no one's business but yours and your doctors. I feel like I might be headed in the same direction. Getting old sucks.
     
  13. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I've certainly considered what we're not talking about here.
    But only after learning that there are two totally different strains.
    One is the stuff people use for fun.
    The other is no fun at all, only useful for pain, anxiety, and a few other medical problems.

    If the question above is using the fun strain for a medical problem, it begs the question, why not use the strain that is not fun and not used recreationally?
    Or if the above use is the non fun medicinal stuff, why is the kid upset?
    Maybe because the method looks like the old party fun method?
    Why not go to a more doctor-ey method if it's on doctor's orders?

    Again though, we're not talking about it!

    I'm getting close to applying for disability because the pain severely cuts down the possible hours I can work.
    But that's yet another can o' worms we can't talk about...
     
  14. Rocky058

    Rocky058 Tele-Afflicted

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    I was informed early on in my adventure in recovery, that any other "thing"

    I might dabble in, will eventually lead me back to my original problem.
     
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  15. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Well the world of paid recovery professionals modalities and peer based recovery programs is full of confusing and conflicting info.

    A very important distinction is that many 12 step programs refer to being powerless over one specific substance.
    This supports the very wrong idea that our problem is not inside of us, that a substance causes our addiction to it.

    Medically, it's known that chemical dependency is a problem inside us.
    Some of us end up in 12 step programs that lead us to believe the problem is one specific substance, which means we can safely use other substances.
    I actually knew a guy who went to AA for his C problem, then became a raging drunk but his sponsor was only worried that his heavy drinking might lead him back to the other substance.

    And in AA many adhere to what they call a maintenance program where they sub a different chemical but get years sober because they aren't drinking.
    Next we have some medical opinions that their replacement substances make you clean, even as you are hooked on and totally dependent on their same compounds, better only in being legal.

    There are at last count over 200 12 step programs covering dependence on almost any substance or obsessive behavior imaginable.
    The commonality is our obsessive dependence, not the nature of the visibly symptomatic defining thing.
    So indeed, one may lead back to the other, or we may just find a new way to diminish our lives, if maybe less harmful than the former.

    It's valuable to understand the difference between powerless over THE STUFF vs powerless over our ADDICTION to stuff.
     
  16. Willie Johnson

    Willie Johnson Tele-Afflicted

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    /\ Lotsa examples of this in music--Miles Davis and Eric Clapton come to mind.
     
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  17. Deeve

    Deeve Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    Two of the more useful suggestions I received in the church basement were:
    "you don't have to feel that way anymore"
    and
    "stop looking for things that change the way you feel"
    On the margins (for me): buying something and eating something

    That said - I need a small parade today - 1/05/03

    Peace - Deeve
     
  18. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Congratulations on finding peace!

    (the war is over)

    Yeah acting out on my addiction as opposed to my "alcoholism", informs my understanding of the problem being ME, not the substance.
    Eating and spending are superb ways to make bad choices that make my life unmanageable...
     
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  19. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Last night at the grocery store I saw numerous shoppers with nothing but booze in big bottles.
    Before that a close friend was texting me about her shaking with rage watching TV.
    I tried to explain my recovery based processing of feelings and situations, saying it’s not worth internalizing the anger of others, even if we witness something awful.
    I failed though, to sense in the text messaging that she needed to be listened to in her rage, not counseled out of her rage.
    Only a week ago she told me of her recent med diagnosis of some worse variety of PTSD.
    I knew but I forgot to act on my knowledge.

    Not only does nobody who quits, ever have to pick up again if we follow a simple program of recovery; but we also have an opportunity to not have to be controlled by anger, fear, insecurity, or a desire to make those feelings go away.

    Recovery of course takes time and a good amount of work, but the time is going to pass regardless of our action or inaction.
    Given the chance to do, why not give it a shot?

    As some wise guy said: “there is no try, do or do not”
     
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  20. Allan Allan

    Allan Allan Tele-Afflicted

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    While watching the news unfold I thought I could use a drink, but then I thought "how would that help you?"

    I guess I'm growing as a person.
     
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