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Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Suicideking, Feb 26, 2011.
good on ya - long-timers inspire many others on the odaat trail.
Peace - Deeve
A simple program for complicated people .
I believe that original bunch of drunks and dopers who banded together to try and find a way out of their dilemma realized that there would be people who had a problem with the traditional concept of the word "God".
I think it's very possible that some in the original group might have had an issue with the word themselves, but even if they didn't, they recognized that there would be people who did.
From my own personal experience, I really think the "God stuff" is the most controversial thing about the program of 12 steps.
That's why it's important for me, even though it's just semantics, to keep in mind that it's a God or god "of our own understanding".
When I understood that "my understanding" didn't need to be about the God from the fractured fairy tale that I was taught about when I was a child, my frame of reference started to change.
The "of my own understanding" part of it opened the door just a crack for me, but it was a start. To be honest, it felt like I was being given permission to have my own personal interpretation.
I know that may sound kind of weird or odd to some people, but I want to put it out there because I'm pretty sure there is at least one other person out there who might be caught in the same type of self-constructed trap as I was .
H.O.W. - Honesty, Open mind, Willingness.
Congrats. Pass it on!
Thanks, and in reference to your comment about your core thinking (and the solution) - glad to hear I'm not the only one! Definitely an ongoing project. But after all, "we claim progress, not perfection." That's enough today, right? That "perfection" burden I put on myself back in the day got REALLY, REALLY heavy.
i am 23 hours sober, give or take a few minutes.
have been waking up the past 2 days shaking, sweating, sprinting back & forth to my bathroom, etc.
had enough food, water, and B vitamins to stop feeling like death about 4 hours ago. rest of the day was pretty horrible.
i'm going to attempt to keep a(n offline) sobriety journal and just quit this thing cold turkey, by myself. fortunately, i got rid of my hard drug habit about 2 years ago. and don't really smoke anymore.
i'm not a religious dude but i found myself making the sign of the cross at least once earlier this morning. i blacked out last tuesday night. yesterday was probably the conclusion of a 10 or 11 day bender, with maybe one dry day somewhere in the middle.
i also blacked out during the week immediately after X-mas, and from what i could discern from my bank records, i was just walking around, bar to bar, still getting served. i only remembered the final establishment from that episode, not the first 2 or 3 places i visited. naturally, i was day drinking.
i wish i could have quit all this 10 years ago, during my first attempt to dry out.
i hope someone else who is struggling to rid their selves and their lives of booze will read this, and that it will help them.
this morning was as low as i am willing to go with this particular drug. i don't want to see what the next phase of this looks like. i hope to report back to this thread in 364 days. if i fail, i will go to groups or check myself into a program.
thanks and God Bless to whoever read this tonight.
I'm not going to sugar-coat this. I hope I don't offend anyone:
Get help now. Honestly, you might not get another chance. Alcohol wants to kill us alcoholics. I buried my younger brother right after Christmas. He drank like I used to, but never stopped. He died of advanced cirrhosis of the liver caused by his drinking. By the time he found out on August 1st, it was already too late. There is no valid reason to try to do this thing on your own. Park your ego at the door and go to an AA meeting. They are everywhere. You will find help if you want it. Willingness is the key. I drank alcoholically every day for 27 years. I'm now 27 years sober. I can look back and compare my two lives - NO COMPARISON! AA has a higher success rate than any other way. If you don't believe me, ask someone in law enforcement or the judicial system. What do you have to lose? You can always go back to your own way if you want to. I'm praying you find the beautiful life available to you if you are willing to grab it and do a little work. - Matt
One of the reasons I decided to stop attending regular N/A meetings was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the handshaking-and-hugging cameraderie at meetings during the influenza season. I've never regretted that decision because I'm 16 years clean and haven't had the flu in over ten years.
I do feel concern for people in the program who are struggling and really need to be going to meetings. Social distancing, as everyone recommends, is going to make it harder for those new in recovery.
If anybody finds themselves in real need, I'm one of lots of people who would be happy to support you via email. We've all got to help each other and I'll do what I can.
Glad to hear you found what works for you - some of us still like meetings. I do.
Re the flu etc - the local GSRs have recommended temporary closure of our Seattle based meetings.
The 500 lb telephone is our alternate tool.
And I'm not good at making those calls, but I got one from my current sponsor, followed ten monutes later by my first temp sponsor who moved across the country.
Ya know what? I felt better after those calls.
Peace - Deeve
I realized it's been a while since anyone contributed to this thread. I hope that's not a sign that there are less people seeking recovery. I haven't been to a meeting for a long time, but intuition is telling me that attendance at AA and NA meetings will have dropped off because of the stigma of large gatherings in our pandemic age.
Locally, the Alano club, which used to host at least two or more meetings a day for AA and NA, is closing it's doors. It's unfortunate because there are still people out there that need a meeting every day, and I want to encourage everybody to maintain their efforts to recover. I'm told that there are a number of online groups conducting virtual meetings, and I think that's great - There's no reason why our programs shouldn't be a part of technological advances.
I've also found that the local mental health organization conducts seminar designed to promote Relapse Prevention. I've been doing them for a couple of years, and missed them when the program went on hiatus when the virus was at it's worst. They've resumed, just in the last two weeks, although it's now a hybrid program with some in-person attendance and is supplemented by online Zoom participation. No matter how we get there, the best possible goal in life is recovery.
I don’t know the qualifications for “clean and sober”, but I found it necessary to stop all drinking during this isolation. I seemed to reach an all or nothing point. So I chose nothing. I do fight some temptations and rationalizations. I am not likely to seek meetings. Best to all who are fighting this fight.
No i am not. I tend to bing drink, for 3 days, then will binge guitar playing for 6 days, then binge book readings for hours on end. i am into book binging, i must have spent at least 15 hours in the last 2 days.
I can play video games for days too.
I think i am wired in a weird way.
I am glad for you guys would could stop and not miss it though.
Shortly after the thing we can't talk about arrived, I learned about the vid-conf tool Zoom, M/S Teams, WebX, some product on Google for video meeting, and in no time the local inter-group started listing meeting ID and pswd for virtual mtgs.
As of this time, I've got several regular vid meetings to attend.
I wound up buying a year's worth of hosting privileges, and upped my service as a meeting sec through Aug, Sept & Oct - a change of pace from being the coffee-maker . . .
and there are many more.
While I miss the direct contact, it's not available right now (life on life's terms, baby)
7th Tradition basket has gone electronic - friction-less pay-pal or cred card; I send it in monthly.
One unexpected advantage - we get lots of out-of-state visitors.
[pm if you want the meeting credentials]
ODAAT - Deeve
Good for you Cat!I hope all is still going well!
Things are going very well, thanks! Lots of big life changes over the past couple of years and I kinda drifted away from the forum, but I'm really happy these days. And FWIW, I hit 8 years without alcohol this past June .
So glad to hear that!Good for you.Lots of changing going on in Colorado for sure.
I'm going to a meet tonight for the first time in almost two years, since my 15 year cake. My daughter told me about this group...Cocaine Anonymous....which I'd never heard of, but since it's my drug of choice, I thought I'd give it a spin. I'm almost 17 years clean, but it never hurts to reinforce the message why I got clean in the first place.
Hang in there! I hope you have an acountability partner
I have the privilege and honor of singing / playing electric 2x a month for XChange Church / Recovery Ministry here in Battleground WA.
They celebrate " who has been clean and sober for one day, etc)
We meet outdoors in a huge tent.
Community and accountability is a huge thing.
Props to all of those who are doing this!!
This is great to read!
Not sure, but I may have contributed to this thread before.
No matter. I'm closing in on 30 years clean/sober and it still feels good.
I live in a small town (1,600) that I thought wouldn't be like Houston.
Boy was I surprised, and saddened. I shocked when I saw my next door neighbor fall into meth addiction.
She lost essentially everything - her apartment, job, ever the custody of her young son.
Last I heard she is figuratively living in her parent's basement.
Very, very sad.
My very best wishes to anyone still struggling with drugs.