I'm sure many of us are missing family and friends

boris bubbanov

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cheerful thread

Normally, this is when we'd revel in getting to see friends and relatives who are doing fine and everyone has a good time. I've got to settle for hearing (over the phone) the sounds of my parents, who are being remarkably stoic. 94 and 95. We've had so many fancy celebrations over the years and Thank Goodness for our excesses then. All you can do right now is remind yourself, that many Blessings still remain.
 

ChicknPickn

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Dad died October 29th this year. Massive stroke. I was holding his hand when he passed.

You know, he had a great personal story. One of those who rose out of almost unimaginable poverty. He went into the military and got the GI Bill. Went to school, became a CPA, had a knack for investing in land. A couple of years ago, he decided that he would give every member of the immediate family a new car. But I liked my car and didn't want to get rid of it. On the afternoon of the day he died, he called and asked whether I'd seen anything I wanted to have. I told him, not yet, but would take a rain check.

Last night, the wife and I went and got the new car. It is identical to my old car. Just new and shiny. I like what I like.

Dad, you are in the passenger's seat, always.
 

KATT

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My uncle and mum died 2018, another uncle and an aunt died 2020 and a school friend died earlier this year and a singer, who was a close friend and inspiration to me died in October, a week after we had been away on an amazing songwriting weekend.

After hundreds of thousands of years, I would have thought our species would have evolved to deal with death better. It is an inevitable part of living and therefore expected, yet it hurts so much when it happens to someone close to you.

I'm still finding it difficult to come to terms with my songwriting friend's passing. We were just beginning the process of writing and recording an album together. Such a great journey to go through as those who have done so before will appreciate. In just one phone call informing me of the news, all that excitement and the plans for the future were snatched away.

I'm still carry on with the album, using what material I have recorded to try to finish some of the songs. If you have a moment, I'd be grateful if you could give one of the last songs he recorded a listen. He would have loved the thought of people around the world listening to his music!

 

Bob M

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This is my first Christmas in a new house. It’s also the first Christmas in nearly 50 years without my wife who passed away earlier this year. She loved Christmas and the house was always beautifully decorated this time of year. I live close to my daughter now and she’s really making an effort to keep Christmas special. It’s been a difficult time for sure but I intend to keep moving forward. Merry Christmas to everyone!
 

bromdenlong

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My dad died in March. It still feels unreal, although he was 91. Xmas is going to be weird, but it will still be good to see family.

Condolences to those who are missing someone.
 

bromdenlong

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All that said, I DO NOT miss her Christmas Eve oyster stew... even now I'm have PTSD thinking about it...!

My mom used to make lime jell-o with walnuts, raisins, and cottage cheese in it.

And she used to make me eat it, all through the year, about once a week.

As an adult, I teased her about it so much that she stopped even making it for herself. I feel bad about that now. I'm glad I never have to eat it again. :)
 

CCK1

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It will just be my wife and I for Christmas. Last Sunday drove into the Bronx to go to St. Raymond’s Cemetery to put something on my parents grave. Used to go to my sisters in Connecticut for Christmas. But she passed two years ago. Not many of us left but I try to enjoy it. Tough getting older.
You're right, it is tough getting older, but I don't like the alternative either.
 

Chester P Squier

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Prayers and sincerest condolences to all who lost someone close this year.
[QUOTE="KATT, post: 11118422, member: 72035"

After hundreds of thousands of years, I would have thought our species would have evolved to deal with death better. It is an inevitable part of living and therefore expected, yet it hurts so much when it happens to someone close to you.

[/QUOTE]

No, I think it's harder now. With modern medicine keeping people alive, we fell entitled to have our loved ones live forever.

If you look at genealogy, you will see that up until the mid-20th century, families would have six kids and hope that some of them would make it to adulthood. We're just not used to death the way our ancestors were.
 

RodeoTex

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I'm finding it hard to click the like buttons on all these posts but I really mean to convey my understanding and sympathies.

The live of my life kicked my land legs out from under me several years ago. Heart still broken.
I'd never lost anyone really in my life but my steelhead father passed soon afterward, my favorite uncle died in a car accident coming to his funeral.
My beloved brother died in his sleep during a nap.
My mother developed breast cancer and was gone like the wind in 2017.
I've been a loose kite for a while but am invited to Christmas gathering at my ex brother in law's house.
I'm hoping for a lot of magical Christmas spirit and that all y'all have a glorious day.
 

ChicknPickn

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Christmas Eve 1997 I got out of a drug rehab in Bangor Maine with no winter coat and no way to get home to Brooklyn.
Called my Mother, Father, GF, and GF's Dad, but they all said leave us alone and don't call us any more.

That help???

Hoo, boy. That's hard reality. I hope recovery has changed things.
 

StratDal

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This is my first Christmas in a new house. It’s also the first Christmas in nearly 50 years without my wife who passed away earlier this year. She loved Christmas and the house was always beautifully decorated this time of year. I live close to my daughter now and she’s really making an effort to keep Christmas special. It’s been a difficult time for sure but I intend to keep moving forward. Merry Christmas to everyone!

Don't forget to plug in your telecaster too! Merry Christmas!
 

Jupiter

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Ma passed away in November two years ago; my sister’s the matriarch of the family now. For current-event-related reasons we haven’t gotten back to the States since that funeral. My kids find their aunties and especially cousins annoying, so they’re fine not going back, but I miss the clan, and my sisters miss my wife. ;)

Over here, it’s been a pretty good holiday so far; we went to Tokyo Disney Resort for a couple days. I’m so grateful my now-teenage kids still wanted to go. We had a great time riding new rides and reminiscing about previous trips there (one year every single kid barfed on the trip and one kid spent the whole second day in the infirmary lol). Today I’m waiting on the bird to show up and buying stuffing ingredients and stocking stuffers. Not so many presents this year cuz we spent a bomb on the trip.

I’ve spent Christmases alone before. It sucked. Could still easily end up back that way in a few years, but this year anyway we are a happy little nuclear family, and I’m grateful for it.

Best wishes to all TDPRI Johns!
 

telemnemonics

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Hoo, boy. That's hard reality. I hope recovery has changed things.

Oh yeah, thank you but yes, their refusing to keep enabling was the point I finally went all in on 12 step recovery where I got my life back. That was one rough Christmas "gift" though!

I don’t have any of those problems but I can relate.

That particular set of problems got solved, I got back the people who I'd lost then with time the GF moved on and both my parents died but I got to take care of my Mother for her failing last years.
Tonight I went to my 12 step home group, brought some snacks, collected the 7th Tradition money, sold two recovery books, talked to a now single Mom who lost her partner to OD on Dec 7, ran the zoom for a few unable to attend in person, heard versions of problems faced by a bunch of people nothing at all like me yet struggling with the same problem I had years ago.

Cheerfully!
 




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