I'm mentally not on this planet today

The good news is that you can still feel, seems like these days that is less and less common, or else feelings all come out as anger.

Edit: I'm sorry you lost your brother, and in an infuriating situation.
Medical facilities seem to be a wreck right now, maybe not there in BC, but it's a mess to stumble into it seems. Almost like living a crap shoot hoping to not roll the wrong numbers...

 

I'm so sorry about losing your brother, but am so glad you were able to at least be there for his last moments.

I've lost my middle sister 20 years ago, was in the hospital room when she passed, and my dad, and my mom, both while in home hospice.

Me and my older sister were in the room when my middle sister passed, and after we walked out of the room and left her with her husband, and we suddenly were so cold we could not believe it. We were both shivering sitting in a small room, and we both became euphoric. We drove from the hospital in separate vehicles to tell my mom and dad, and all the way home both of us were in our vehicles just yelling at her how much we loved her and that she's free now. We both exchanged those stories after we got together at my mom's and dad's house. I truly believe her spirit was surrounding us. My older sister, who is a teacher, said that her Hispanic students told her that when a spirit inhabits a room, it becomes very cold.

By the way, she passed the day after my birthday. We were all sitting in the hospital room with her on my birthday, and about a half hour after midnight is when she took her final breath. My older sister said she was probably waiting till the next day. And that's the kind of person she was.

I know the next day I felt kind of lost like you did yesterday, but it gets better, and you just remember the good times. And there will always be days many years down the line where you think about him, and a smile comes across your face.

 

Peace and Blessings to you at this difficult time.

 

All the good vibes pointed your way.

I hope you find peace.

 

Very sorry for your loss.

 

Keep everything as normal as possible. Talk to your wife or a friend about where you are. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Work through this with someone you trust. Remember although everyone is separated right now you are not alone.

 

Sorry for your loss, 24.
Jim

 

Condolences

 

24, I just got the news, so sorry for your loss. A brother is a special thing. I've been away for a couple days; my 91 year old Dad somehow crashed into my 90 year old Mom, and they both ended up in the hospital. They will recover OK, but the virus scare has made complete chaos of medical treatment, so frustrating, as you know. You have my best wishes for the Happiest of New Years for you and yours.

 

These are beautiful words, 24 track. I may have to quote you with my family– We're spread out, don't get to see each other much. I admire close families like yours. In our family, we know we all love each other but don't often say it.

Your loss, your story have struck a chord with me. I'm not a religious man, but I believe in spirits and in souls and I believe your brother is with you. I'm glad you were there with him and for him.

(I want say, 'Take care, my friend' but I don't even know you except for your posts the last few weeks. But yes, take care my friend.)

 

I am deeply sorry for your loss. By now you know nothing helps. It's sounds tired but time is the only thing that helps. You never get over the loss, but time somehow makes it bearable. I wish there were a magic wand that you could wave and make you all better, but there isn't. It is good you have memories to fall back on. They are all we have left those of us who remain. Again, my deepest condolences. It's funny, when we're kind of in the middle of the movie, we have no inkling how fleeting life is. A big chalk board should pop up when things are going famously, that says, this is as good as it gets, enjoy it extra special!

 

Best to you my friend, grief is the one emotion we all share that we know exactly how the other person is feeling. I hope you mend, you will but it will take a while.

 

Hey bro! I don't know you or what has been happening. But l dig your posts and threads. For you to come out and say how you're feeling is better than bottling it up. Wish I knew what it is your going through. Either way, keep your head up man. Sometimes it's hard. Remember, tomorrow is a new day. I've had 3 near death hospitalized situations in my life.Not to mention my other head games! Everyday now is a good day! Be f.....n strong! You have the choice, the power to do it. My heart is feeling for you. I could keep on but maybe I should not without knowing what is. Be good. Be tough, and fight the good fight. You will come out better than before. Keep on pickin!!! Happy New year!

 

Sympathies sent.

You and your family are experiencing shock.....as the poster above, tap4154, did.
It's normal and will pass, but it takes time. The grieving takes longer, but it WILL be in the past sometime. Irrational guilt often is part of the grieving process as well. Expect it and go easy on yourself.
Ask for help when you need it. That's important.