I'm a piece of crap

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by TeleTex82, Oct 29, 2019.

  1. TeleTex82

    TeleTex82 Friend of Leo's

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    As the title states, I'm a piece of crap. I don't say that in an attempt at self deprecation, or defecation I should say, it's mostly just a matter of fact. To be fair, I didn't have much say in the matter. I came into this world a piece of crap and will likely leave it as one.

    I never really stood a chance, if we are putting all our cards on the table. I mean, try to put yourself in my position, one day you are safe and warm, uncaring and unknowing, the outside world nothing but a world of shadows and muffled sound and then suddenly....

    PLOP!

    You find yourself in the blinding light of day with a mouthful of grass as a horde of giant Chihuahuan dogs lumber all around you in defiance of their even more giant demigod who commands them to "Pooh Pooh!" and sounds off mighty warnings about their "Tudes." All the while, a pair of all seeing eyes follow this strange mythical comedy from the confines of some nether dimension the nature of which I am terrified to divinate.

    Then, with the same suddenness you entered this cruel existence you are hurried away into a green polyethylene prison and pinned against a wall with Zeus's own shovel to wait for your ultimate fate.

    I ask you dear reader, what hope could one such as me have? What else could one help but feel like after such a life if not...

    Waste?
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2019
  2. uriah1

    uriah1 Telefied Gold Supporter

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    Well, it's good you got out from wherever you were
    and joined us.
     
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  3. D'tar

    D'tar Friend of Leo's

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    And the neighbor saw the whole thing!!!
     
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  4. ndcaster

    ndcaster Poster Extraordinaire

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    somebody ate too much at Taco Bell
     
  5. Ron R

    Ron R Friend of Leo's

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    Well, this rabbit hole just keeps leading to new doors...
     
  6. catdaddy

    catdaddy Tele-Afflicted

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    Don't take it personal. Like everything else in life it's all about your neighbors, cargo shorts and the insidious takeover by solid state technology.
     
  7. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    There are always those who are greater and lesser than you are on your journey through life. Try to go about your business as if you were completely normal, and please stand downwind while you're doing it.
     
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  8. Cysquatch

    Cysquatch Tele-Holic

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    A turd contemplating its existence in a polyethylene bag is both sh*t and bulbous. Got me?
     
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  9. MuddyDitch

    MuddyDitch Tele-Holic

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    I admire your fatalism. As HL Mencken so astutely said, "life is an endless array of meaningless tasks toward a futile purpose."
     
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  10. Obsessed

    Obsessed Telefied Ad Free Member

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    In spite of the chihuahua poop on your virgin skin, life has been given to you and you only have one shot at it. Don't blame the owner of the placenta. Shake off that pooh pooh, scrounge up some cargo shorts, grab a tele and head out onto the adventure of your free choice.
     
  11. BB

    BB Poster Extraordinaire

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    As dear old Gramps used to say; "If you're going to be a turd, go lay in the yard".
     
  12. TeleTex82

    TeleTex82 Friend of Leo's

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    Thank you friends, your support has really solidified my constitution and resolve.
     
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  13. Mexitele Blues

    Mexitele Blues Tele-Holic

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    I've not been following. Did we get the dog's perspective yet?
     
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  14. thunderbyrd

    thunderbyrd Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    they could bury you in the garden and eventually you will be a green bean.
     
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  15. Ron R

    Ron R Friend of Leo's

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    Yep, courtesy of Toto's Dad.
     
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  16. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  17. heltershelton

    heltershelton Tele-Afflicted

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    im a bigger piece of crap.
    theres this dude in the neighborhood who, every single time he sees me, comes up and bums a smoke.
    I used to be nice and give him one.....until I realized I was his personal cig machine.
    so one day he comes up and asks for a smoke, and say "NO".
    he looks at me funny and I told him I was sick of being used, and that if I didn't smoke he wouldn't even think to say hi or even speak to me.
    and then I told him to just go ahead and stay the hell away from me from now on, and to never ever ask me for another smoke again.
    so now he just walks on, however yesterday a
    he asked if he could buy one. I told him no.
     
  18. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Be of good cheer TT if you really believe, you can fly!

    [​IMG]
     
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  19. Robert H.

    Robert H. Friend of Leo's

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    Writing a book are you? About early life?
     
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  20. TeleTex82

    TeleTex82 Friend of Leo's

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    giphy-12.gif
     
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