As the title states, I'm a piece of crap. I don't say that in an attempt at self deprecation, or defecation I should say, it's mostly just a matter of fact. To be fair, I didn't have much say in the matter. I came into this world a piece of crap and will likely leave it as one. I never really stood a chance, if we are putting all our cards on the table. I mean, try to put yourself in my position, one day you are safe and warm, uncaring and unknowing, the outside world nothing but a world of shadows and muffled sound and then suddenly.... PLOP! You find yourself in the blinding light of day with a mouthful of grass as a horde of giant Chihuahuan dogs lumber all around you in defiance of their even more giant demigod who commands them to "Pooh Pooh!" and sounds off mighty warnings about their "Tudes." All the while, a pair of all seeing eyes follow this strange mythical comedy from the confines of some nether dimension the nature of which I am terrified to divinate. Then, with the same suddenness you entered this cruel existence you are hurried away into a green polyethylene prison and pinned against a wall with Zeus's own shovel to wait for your ultimate fate. I ask you dear reader, what hope could one such as me have? What else could one help but feel like after such a life if not... Waste?