If you get conned and your intentions were good, what then?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Toto'sDad, Oct 29, 2018.

  1. Chunkocaster

    Chunkocaster Poster Extraordinaire

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    If visiting my local supermarket for groceries etc you are greeted by well organised professional charities seven days a week. A rotation of different charities every day. All seeking to guilt trip you into donating, all earning a wage to collect money that goes to who knows where?

    The relentless ones soon can't wait to get rid of me whenever it's busy. I just ask them what model car their boss drives, what part of town he lives in and how much of their collection actually gets through to the people they are collecting for after office rent, their wages, their bosses wages, profit for growth etc.
    If requested I will help in other ways but I rarely hand money over for nothing.
    As far as being personally targeted by a scammer they would be paying for it in the long run. I would make it my business to destroy them even if it costs me even more money or time.
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2018
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  2. Mike Eskimo

    Mike Eskimo Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    And the cat...:lol:

    Our cats even laughed at that , then pointed out that the offender graciously provided you with the method of retribution/come uppance/karmic re-balancing.


    Beggars ? All you can see is the physical.

    I want something that pops up over their head like “Schizophrenic/horrifying childhood” or “lost everything including family in fire” , or even “actually healthier than you/just lazy”.

    It would make it sooo much easier.

    But alas all we can do is make a split second decision...:confused:
     
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  3. tery

    tery Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    My charitable works are anonymous . My reward is satisfaction not recognition .
    Conning people for personal gain is despicable and illegal .
    You meant well so feel well and screw anyone who presumes to judge you . :)
     
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  4. trapdoor2

    trapdoor2 Tele-Afflicted Gold Supporter

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    Years ago, I was in a parking lot and got tagged by a guy with a sob story. Wife left him, need gas money, etc. I gave him a fiver and went home. The next day his picture was in the paper with his girlfriend described as "con artists, beware". Meh. I'm a sap sometimes. Life goes on.

    So, a few weeks later, I'm on my bicycle and have stopped at a coffee-shop, sitting outside enjoying a cuppa. A shabby car pulls up and this gal comes out looking pitiful, has a great sob story, needs some cash, etc. I recognized her immediately. Almost all of the people sitting outside reach for their wallets until I said, "Hey, weren't you and your husband listed in the paper as con artists?"

    She instantly turned nasty, cussed me like a sailor, turned on her heel, got in the car and left. I just smiled and waved. Job done!
     
  5. brookdalebill

    brookdalebill Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    I’m a soft touch (or schmuck), for a sob story, but I’m hard/impossible to con.
    The main reason is I really don’t have anything you can con me out of, except perhaps my time.
    My Dad, and grandfather (whom I am named after) instilled a healthy dose of cynicism in me.
    It is truly a jungle out there, brethren.
     
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  6. getbent

    getbent Telefied Ad Free Member

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    most folks who work with the homeless say not to give money on the street. I have stopped doing it because of that. I also have questioned myself 'am I doing some thing to help people or assuaging guilty feelings?'

    Now, I do the things I actually think will help in the manner that I think I want to help. Strangely, my former guilty pangs have disappeared. I still ache when I see people who are obviously addled, addicted, crushed by the planet... but short of adopting them and owning their problems... I can only go through the channels to try to get them some help.

    As for getting conned--> It has happened to me before and, again, it takes the better side of me to remember that my embarrassment should not cost someone else my good will.
     
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  7. Preacher

    Preacher Friend of Leo's

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    This brings back memories.

    I was a new Pastor in a new town and preached a message in the morning about how we needed to help each other. That a community is important and we should do all we can to foster that.
    That evening before church a mother with two kids in tow shows up before the service and tells me a sob story of how her husband is laid off and their electric bill is due which is going to make them use their grocery money. She asked if we can help on their electric bill and give her $100. I tell her that I couldn't right then but to let me see what I can do, she gives me her address (a known low income rent house I had been in before with the previous occupants) so I tell her I will see her later.

    I made a call to a few of our people asking if they could raid the pantry and bring some food for this needy couple.
    The people responded fabulously, they brought about fifteen bags of groceries which we loaded up and took to her. She was dumbfounded when we unloaded the bags onto her front porch.
    Then she tells me that she did not ask for food. She wanted $100. I told her that I did not bring her any cash and she asked if I had a check. I motioned toward the groceries and told her that she would not have to use her electric money on groceries now.
    She flipped her hand over her head and tells me that I should listen harder when people talk to me. She then tells her kids to pack the groceries into the house without a thank you, get off of my porch or a swear word.
    My kids who helped me bring the groceries sat in the car for a few minutes dumbstruck and then asked me what happened. I explained that sometimes people don't respond the way that you always hope.
    It was a great life lesson for my kids which I am thankful for to this day.

    I also saw the lady in the grocery store two days later buying cigs, ice cream and all sorts of groceries. She did not recognize me or my daughter as we were incognito in blue jeans and ball caps. I just stood there behind her as she yelled at her kids to quit putting candy on the cashier station and the cashier taking her verbal lashing about the price of chocolate milk.

    I was trying to decide whether to say something when my 10 year old daughter pipes up.
    "Wow, you guys are going to get fat eating all the food you have in your house."
    The lady gives me daughter a hard look and says, "we work hard for our food young lady, we will buy what we want."
    My daughter, never one to back down says, "well I don't know what you work at but you should look for another job."
    The lady dismissed my daughter as the cashier finishes up and takes her brood out to their car which is parked in a handicapped spot out front.
    My daughter watches them go out the front door and then says, "ah, that explains it."
    I looked at her and asked what explains what. She says, "that lady has short term memory loss, she can't remember from day to day what happens. We read about it in school, I feel bad for her. Always living one day at a time and not remembering when people helped her out."
    We had a nice chat in the car that the lady did not know who we were and how some people will use others.
    My daughter sat there for a moment and then said, "I wish I had known that, I would have told her to buy the cheaper stuff so we don't have to keep helping her. She is a poor money manager."
    I smiled and drove home knowing I was raising her right.
     
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  8. D_W_PGH

    D_W_PGH Friend of Leo's

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    You're not "in the wrong" for trying to do something right.

    That said, the guy probably wasn't a vet, and probably has found that pandhandling is a better job than a regular job.

    The tell us locally here not to give panhandlers money. I had a coworker who used to offer to take panhandlers into restaurants only because he handed one guy a sandwich (who had a sign that said "homeless and hungry") and the guy threw it in the trash and cursed him.

    10 years ago or so, one of the city free papers (I don't think those are printed now) did a spot on a guy who was a bridge panhandler here and showed his daily routine. I have no clue why he let them do it unless he was moving to another city and didn't care. He had sort of a plain apartment and said he'd kind of found his niche.
     
  9. src9000

    src9000 Poster Extraordinaire

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    First off, I doubt any cash given is going to change either party's life. There is no need to feel bad for giving money to someone in need. I admit, I'm not as generous as I use to be. I just don't have that much to give anymore. But once, I gave it to him (I'm not sure why they seem to have always been hims) it was his money, to do with what he pleased. If he got drunk or high, I take solice in the knowledge that I made him happy for a little bit.
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2018
  10. backporchmusic

    backporchmusic Friend of Leo's

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    If anyone approaches me on the street and asks for money, I don't evaluate their story at all. I don't expect them to be telling the truth. The only useful truth is that they don't have money that they want right now. Gas? Booze? Crack? Who knows what the money will be used for anyway.

    I give if I am in the mood to. Sometimes I am, sometimes I am not.

    But I'm pretty sure 'charity' doesn't come with strings attached or expectations.
     
  11. tfarny

    tfarny Friend of Leo's

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    If you want to think of life choices as a kind of bank balance, that's fine with me, I just don't look at it that way. I figure, try and do right by people around me whenever I can, do good work to earn my paycheck, I sleep soundly at night. I don't get the karma thing - if you do a bunch of good deeds to this group of people is it supposed to give you the option of doing bad things to some other people? Eh. Not a great way to look at stuff. My opinion.

    Who knows if an given beggar is hungry, a drug addict, mentally ill, or all of the above. Your choice to give your money or not to somebody else.
     
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  12. backporchmusic

    backporchmusic Friend of Leo's

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    The concept of Karma gets wildly misused in our culture. It is based on a belief in almost infinite reincarnation, so your 'karma' is defined by a long series of living beings, and is realized over lifetimes as well. It's not getting into a car wreck because you told a homeless guy to go to hell.

    It is of course just a system to promote good behavior, like similar beliefs cultivated in different ways in other religions.
     
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  13. ndcaster

    ndcaster Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    It depends on who's holding the side.

    In my view, it is always a positive. Giving is good for you because it pushes you in a positive direction.

    Conning people is bad for you because it pushes you further in a negative direction.
     
  14. telleutelleme

    telleutelleme Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    Whatever you do that can make someone have a little easier time of it, and you want to, then go for it. I hope that guy in S.C. that won the Billion plus keeps me in mind.
     
  15. Lonn

    Lonn Friend of Leo's

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    I've had this discussion before. I don't give people money because THEY need it, I do it because I NEED to do it. I've lived a blessed life and have never really wanted for anything. Everyone can't say that. I realize many if not most of the people asking for money at the intersections are scammers but I look at it this way, if they're so messed up that they think standing on a corner begging for money is all they can do then they need it more than I do. I'll still only give to women though.
     
  16. dsutton24

    dsutton24 Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Money has no morality. I occasionally give a few bucks to folks who claim to be needy. What they do with the money is their problem, not mine. I don't believe in 'enabling'. If he goes out and buys a nice salad, it's no different to me than if he goes out and scores whatever illicit drugs are out there these days.
     
  17. heltershelton

    heltershelton Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    i used to manage a punk rock club in a bad part of atlanta. most people who i told to leave.....left......but there were a few that insisted on hanging around and causing problems. i told these people that if they did not leave, i would go inside and grab some ruthless ones that would take them to the back of the building and knock all their teeth out. only had to do it once. life in the big city is often not very pretty.

    edit.....the guy that got his teeth removed wasnt homeless.....he was a crack dealer with the gold chains and all that.....and yeah, they took his gold, and his teck 9.
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2018
  18. kafka

    kafka Tele-Afflicted

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    I had one yesterday. Handyman walked off the job before it was completed. Then called all day demanding to be paid. Said he had a family emergency, we were playing games, he was stuck out of town, give him his money or he'd call the cops and have us arrested.

    Whatever. Threatening me for not buying your line about needing sympathy is no way to get what you want. Empty threats will get you even less. So he came back this morning, finished the job, got paid, and now we'll just never deal with him again.
     
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  19. 24 track

    24 track Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    the other day I posted this on another thread , but it holds true , there was noexpectation or pretentioness from this fellow but his day was genuinely made . you have to feel what is right ,if you gut says no , it means no.

    the other day when i went to pick up the gear I got , I arrived about 10 min early before my friend came by, there was a young kid about 21 -23 years old was scouring the back alleys rummaging through the area garbage cans looking for treasures, in todays offerings were 2 pieces of foam matting , a good tarp , a fly swatter , an empty garbage bag , and bout 6 cans and bottles .
    he was polite, soft spoken, and not ashamed of how he was surviving , when I observed him loading his treasured Tarp into his reclaimed garbage bag he was beaming, I asked him " where are you sleeping? "expecting him to reply at a shelter , he stated "out side", we talked about how the weather is changing and how he wished he could find a wheeled buggy of sorts to carry his possesions,

    out of curiosity I asked him if he ever found anything of value, he returned "two days ago, I found a huge bag of "smoking commestables" , I replied " well that will get you through the night, " jokingly, he continued " some older kids saw him and gave him 30.00 for it, it was worth much more than that , but that was all they had", We laughed .. I said, "bonus, and you got have a merrier day" , he went on to say " I only kept a tiny bit for before I go to sleep, But I was able to buy some Poutine and a coke , it fed me for dinner and breakfast , I cant eat a whole poutine in one sitting, and they sure taste great !"

    My Friend was just arriving and comming around his property, I turned my back to the young scavenger I had been talking to , I took out a 20.00 bill from my wallet and gave it to him, I said to him "Make sure you get some thing to eat tonight , promise me " he was in shock and said , UHHHH. thank you you did not have to do this," I replied " look I get hit up by people in thi side of town , who hand me BS lines to pan handle, But you are the real thing , you are triing to survive here, and this is not going to hurt me in the least , so forget about it, and get some thing to eat tonight"

    My friend arrived and we took care of loading up the truck , the young kid moved on to new turf next door , but thanked me again before he left " I had no qualms about helping him, he was honest and un-pretentious , I hope he finds a warm /safe place to be.
     
  20. stratoman1

    stratoman1 Tele-Afflicted

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    I did see a guy here with his sign. " Been shot, stabbed, robbed. I need whiskey ". Well he wasn't hiding any intentions at least
     
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