I think I’m really going to suck as an “empty nester”.

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by 985plowboy, May 18, 2020.

  1. 985plowboy

    985plowboy Friend of Leo's

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    My oldest son graduates high school this year and will be attending LSU this Fall.
    Of course, I am immensely happy for him and very proud of his hard work and initiative and let’s not forget that Mrs. Plowboy and I have done all we can to help guide, support and direct him to such a goal.

    However, I’m freaking out a bit more than I thought I would about him leaving.

    We have two younger sons here at home and it’ll be four more years until the younger graduates high school. I’m sure it’ll all work out, but this is new to me.
     
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  2. stxrus

    stxrus Friend of Leo's

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    Everyone has/needs to spread their wings and learn to fly. The cycle of life
     
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  3. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    yep. Dads, too
     
  4. ndcaster

    ndcaster Poster Extraordinaire

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    my oldest is a sophomore in college and really finding his sea legs

    we both feel the poignance of it, but don't talk about it

    how else will life continue if you don't let it go?

    don't worry, it sounds like he'll never become a stranger
     
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  5. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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    I love when my kids go off and do their quaint deeds. I have loved when they went to college and really love when they get good jobs and really love when they find their person and get married.

    I REALLY love when it is just my wife and I. Visits from people are nice and really nice as they head back to their world.
     
  6. 985plowboy

    985plowboy Friend of Leo's

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    This helps. Thanks
     
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  7. Obsessed

    Obsessed Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Don't count on the "empty nester" just quite yet. Give it another 4 to 6 years to be a bit more certain. Just sayin';)
     
  8. 8barlouie

    8barlouie Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    I had the empty nester syndrome. For about 15 minutes. Got a good son. No boomerang. Left for college and I think he spent a total of 4 months back to home base and pffft, he was gone. He probably could visit a little more often, but when he and his girlfriend of 4 years come by, it’s nice. Now all I need is some grandchildren who can come by for visits and then go home. I really got used to it.

    Once he was fully grown, I help him out, give him my support, or offer advice when it’s asked of me. Mostly, I stay out of his way. Easy peasy.
     
  9. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I have a buddy whose grandson and his wife moved into his garage for a couple of weeks, just three short years later, they moved to Arkansas.
     
  10. DonM

    DonM Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    I was ready for it and loved it. So did our son. I think it makes coming back home that much more special.
     
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  11. Lonn

    Lonn Friend of Leo's

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    Our youngest is headed to Cornell in the fall (fingers crossed) and I'm ready. It'll rip our hearts out when she leaves but it's going to happen. My wife will be lost at first and i'll have my hands full with that, but we've been looking forward to more time with each other and that's a good thing. This last couple of years I've been letting them have all the "girl time" they want and pretty much staying out of the way lol.
     
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  12. bgmacaw

    bgmacaw Friend of Leo's

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    Better than a "failure to launch" who's in their 20's and still living with you.
     
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  13. gregj1964

    gregj1964 Tele-Meister

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    Give yourself the room to feel what you do. These are big deals. I think it's great you can share this. I'm sure your son appreciates how much you'll miss him. We men could do better at feeling these things and being ok with it.

    My oldest graduated college last week in isolation because of the times. We're on opposite sides of the country now.
    I have smaller kids also, but I tell you what: It makes me simultaneously proud and sad because I miss the days when he was around. Like you, I'm happy for him, but man some days it hurts my heart to see him grown.

    Thanks for sharing. And, congrats to your family. Your kids are lucky to have such a caring dad.
    Greg
     
  14. Toadtele

    Toadtele Tele-Afflicted

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    I was nervous too. But my wife and I really reconnected when we got the house back to ourselves. I turned my sons room into a gym (already had a dedicated guitar room). He came back for a bit a year later (with a wife and a dog).
    But honestly it was the best thing that could have happened to our marriage.
     
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  15. stormsedge

    stormsedge Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

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    Both our kids and their families are local (we moved to them when I laid down my sword). We have been blessed to spend quality time with both families, including Gpa/Gma daycare for the three youngest granddaughters from ~4mos to 5yo...precious time. Neither child boomerang'd, but we have assisted in pushing the wolf back from their doors a time or two...growing pains. Our home has a centrally located greatroom that Mrs furnished as a (Viking) dining hall...seats 28. We had weekly meals with the whole family (and some friends) prior to lockdown and expect to get back to it at some point. We try to attend all the functions the grandkids are involved with through schools or churches. Before lockdown, I volunteered at the two youngest granddaughters' school once a week...make some copies, get hugs ;). I bike some with our middle grandchild and help the two oldest with their car maintenance. All this to say, your nest is only as empty as you make it. Keep smiling.
     
  16. zippofan

    zippofan Tele-Afflicted

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    Yeah, it was weird when both sons were away at college, the youngest just graduated last week and we brought him home. Our older son is currently home, as he works in the film industry which pretty much shut down in March.
     
  17. Mark the Moose

    Mark the Moose Tele-Holic

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    Same boat, eldest just graduated from high school. Time is short, love them well!
     
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  18. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity

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    Sometimes that "empty nester" thing gets a reprieve. I was a single dad for many years, and then my daughter moved out on her own. In five or six years she had a child herself, and I was lucky enough to get to participate in my grandson's life. He spent nearly every Saturday night/Sunday until noon with me. It was a BLAST! Now he's twenty-three, and on his own. So now I'm going through a second "empty nest" period. Maybe someday he'll have his own offspring, and we'll start the thing all over......;)
     
  19. tery

    tery Doctor of Teleocity

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    Congratulations :)
     
  20. jonnyfez

    jonnyfez Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    Twin 15 year-old boys here. Dreading the day when the bottom drops out. Partly why I started playing drums and gigging - just to broaden my horizons from the single-minded intensity that child-rearing can be.
     
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