I saw something strange yesterday

Toto'sDad

Tele Axpert
Ad Free Member
Joined
Jun 21, 2011
Posts
56,124
Location
Bakersfield
My wife and I stopped off for gas in a nice neighborhood the other day. A man and woman pulled up in the next island in a late model Chevy Camero. I was filling my car, don't hear very well, and generally ignore strangers, but the lady was insistent in asking me if I could put some gas in her car so that she and her (boyfriend, husband?) could drive home.

Now, I don't know where home was, nor did she say, but I can't remember heading out somewhere in my auto, and planning on bumming enough money to get home on. I kept filling my car and didn't register any notice at all of her request. I observed said (boyfriend, husband?) circling the islands then get back in the car and leave. Presumably to run out of gas along the highway.
 

Toto'sDad

Tele Axpert
Ad Free Member
Joined
Jun 21, 2011
Posts
56,124
Location
Bakersfield
Upon contemplation of the above post, I learned something that day. Later, I felt a little guilt at not responding to the lady's request. THEN a realization settled upon my little pea sized brain. When I feel COMPELLED to give someone money I do so. When I do not feel compelled to do so, I don't. The guilt I was feeling was not from my own evaluation of the situation, but the guilt was from the fine performance the woman gave. I am going to remember that just like "no gas, no squeegee" no feeling of being compelled, no money. Somehow someone in a late model Camero asking for gas money doesn't offer a whole lot of encouragement for feeling compelled. Of course, if the car were stolen, that would offer up a whole different set of circumstances.
 

Peegoo

Doctor of Teleocity
Joined
Oct 11, 2019
Posts
12,506
Location
Beast of Bourbon
When a panhandler pressures me:

"I work and I pay taxes. That earns me the right to eat when and where I like. My taxes go toward programs to cover meals and other things for people like you. If I give you money, I am double-taxing myself. Have a nice day."

I am not without compassion. I also don't need to give money away to feel better about myself.
 

String Tree

Doctor of Teleocity
Joined
Dec 8, 2010
Posts
17,966
Location
Up North
Upon contemplation of the above post, I learned something that day. Later, I felt a little guilt at not responding to the lady's request. THEN a realization settled upon my little pea sized brain. When I feel COMPELLED to give someone money I do so. When I do not feel compelled to do so, I don't. The guilt I was feeling was not from my own evaluation of the situation, but the guilt was from the fine performance the woman gave. I am going to remember that just like "no gas, no squeegee" no feeling of being compelled, no money. Somehow someone in a late model Camero asking for gas money doesn't offer a whole lot of encouragement for feeling compelled. Of course, if the car were stolen, that would offer up a whole different set of circumstances.
The circumstances of her asking were as sketchy as an artists rendering.
YEP!!"
 

telemaster03

Tele-Holic
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Posts
587
Age
60
Location
Wichita, KS
There was a video out somewhere showing that homeless/down and outers/askers of money were considerably more likely to share what little they have than folks who have much. Shared empathy, I suppose. I go back and forth; our city actively campaigns against giving money as there are better resources available but they do advocate giving out packets with essentials.

I once had a young man approach me while filling up with gas in Pueblo, CO. I had just sold and delivered an amp and had a pocket full of cash. The young man approached me and asked very courteously if I could spare anything and I turned him down. Pulling out of the parking lot we saw him walking away, hands stuffed into his pockets and a very downcast and dejected look on his face...he had apparently been turned down by everyone he approached. After seeing the look in his eyes I felt that he must have been in pretty dire straits. We drove silently out of town for a few miles and I looked over at my wife; she saw the same desperation that I had seen and she said "we have to go back". We did and could not find the young man, though I saw his face for several nights thereafter when I would try to go to sleep and the thought of it haunts me still. I later learned that the strip from Pueblo up through Colorado Springs and into Denver had a huge influx of people move there after pot was legalized and many young people had migrated there with no plan, no marketable skills and no way back home. There were reports of missing people, human trafficking and many turning up dead.

If he was acting it was a very believable performance.
 

Masmus

Tele-Holic
Joined
Feb 21, 2018
Posts
960
Age
53
Location
San Jose
Heartwarming? I hate to be cynical but he was probably just giving him his cut, they often work in teams.
They were definitely not a team.

Where I am, teams will work multiple corners at the same time. The panhandler was nicely dressed and not necessarily homeless, the guy on the bike had on dirty clothes with holes and had a dog in a trailer on the bike for companionship. You see this a lot here unfortunately.
 

Papanate

Tele-Meister
Silver Supporter
Joined
Nov 11, 2018
Posts
191
Age
52
Location
New York
A while ago when I was in San Diego I had two different circumstances that gave an interesting outlook on what was going on - I was stopping at a ARCO gas station - and as I was going in there was this Homeless Man just sitting there - when leaving I felt bad for him so I gave him what I had in cash - $10 - and he looked at me like I was a Miracle Giver - thanked me profusely - I was impressed. Later I was coming down a hill when I saw a younger man sauntering up the hill - I felt the same sense of doing right so I went all the way down U-Tuned - went all the way up and back down again - there was the guy about halfway up the hill - I stopped and said here handing him a $20 bill feeling all miracle like in my splender - he took the twenty and ate it.

I have mixed feeling about giving money to strangers -
 

fjblair

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
Dec 29, 2010
Posts
1,502
Location
NC High Country
They were definitely not a team.

Where I am, teams will work multiple corners at the same time. The panhandler was nicely dressed and not necessarily homeless, the guy on the bike had on dirty clothes with holes and had a dog in a trailer on the bike for companionship. You see this a lot here unfortunately.
Okay that's good to know, thank you for clarifying.
 

getbent

Telefied
Gold Supporter
Joined
Mar 2, 2006
Posts
47,625
Location
San Benito County, California
My wife and I stopped off for gas in a nice neighborhood the other day. A man and woman pulled up in the next island in a late model Chevy Camero. I was filling my car, don't hear very well, and generally ignore strangers, but the lady was insistent in asking me if I could put some gas in her car so that she and her (boyfriend, husband?) could drive home.

Now, I don't know where home was, nor did she say, but I can't remember heading out somewhere in my auto, and planning on bumming enough money to get home on. I kept filling my car and didn't register any notice at all of her request. I observed said (boyfriend, husband?) circling the islands then get back in the car and leave. Presumably to run out of gas along the highway.

simiilar, yesterday I stopped to get gas at my usual place. a guy wearing super clean clothes and 'stylish' (if super long shorts and a coordinated shirt and perfectly white tennis shoes are stylish, but you know what I mean. Anyway, ol bent in work boots, a hoodie and khakis (rumpled AF) is pumping gas and the guy asks for some money to help him get home. I shake my head no, smiling but clearly 'no' and he walks to the next car.

then he walks over to his newish truck that has a harley in the back, both clean as a pin! and he resumes wiping truck and bike down as if polishing them!

New cars come in, he repeats. I get a carwash and when I come out, he is still working the same angle.

some people's kids.
 

Vibroluxer

Tele-Holic
Joined
Jan 27, 2007
Posts
808
Location
Pittsburgh
On a slightly different note...

A couple of years ago one of my brothers was telling me part of Sisters Theresa's book about giving. She didn't care for the word charity but preferred the term sharing. Long story short, he gave me $100 for Christmas and told me to share it.

Now I live on very meager savings and SS so I really could have used that $100.

But a few days later I was on the bus and saw a couple I had seen a few times before. They both had some physical handicaps but I've seen them around town, always smiling and helping each other. I got off the bus after they did and told them very briefly my brother's sharing story and gave them $20 for lunch and $20 for whatever. I never saw such happiness, even from my kids at Christmas. And I don't think I've felt so good.
 

Toto'sDad

Tele Axpert
Ad Free Member
Joined
Jun 21, 2011
Posts
56,124
Location
Bakersfield
simiilar, yesterday I stopped to get gas at my usual place. a guy wearing super clean clothes and 'stylish' (if super long shorts and a coordinated shirt and perfectly white tennis shoes are stylish, but you know what I mean. Anyway, ol bent in work boots, a hoodie and khakis (rumpled AF) is pumping gas and the guy asks for some money to help him get home. I shake my head no, smiling but clearly 'no' and he walks to the next car.

then he walks over to his newish truck that has a harley in the back, both clean as a pin! and he resumes wiping truck and bike down as if polishing them!

New cars come in, he repeats. I get a carwash and when I come out, he is still working the same angle.

some people's kids.
When a guy is dressed better than I am (not hard to do) AND driving a newer, more expensive car than I am, plus is at least fifty years younger than I am, it's hard to drum up a lot of sympathy, and dig deep in my pocket for gas money for them. I'm beginning to think panhandling is just some sort of new enterprise for the young.
 

getbent

Telefied
Gold Supporter
Joined
Mar 2, 2006
Posts
47,625
Location
San Benito County, California
On a slightly different note...

A couple of years ago one of my brothers was telling me part of Sisters Theresa's book about giving. She didn't care for the word charity but preferred the term sharing. Long story short, he gave me $100 for Christmas and told me to share it.

Now I live on very meager savings and SS so I really could have used that $100.

But a few days later I was on the bus and saw a couple I had seen a few times before. They both had some physical handicaps but I've seen them around town, always smiling and helping each other. I got off the bus after they did and told them very briefly my brother's sharing story and gave them $20 for lunch and $20 for whatever. I never saw such happiness, even from my kids at Christmas. And I don't think I've felt so good.

that is awesome. We live in a little town with one store. I love the store dearly and they keep the prices fair, so we shop there as much as we can. At christmas time, I went to the store before it closes (at 9) to get some beer and stuff for breakfast. I'm behind a lady and a little kid and I can see she is buying all their groceries and probably right on the edge (you can kinda tell) and the kid ringing her up is a good kid, quiet and solemn, and when he gets to her total, I can tell she is stuck... way too much for what she has.

There is a pretty long line behind me and just the one checker and she is kind of just unsure of what to do, what to take back and her son is good but, a kid, and probably tired and tired of being in the store.

I catch the cashier's eye and I just say, 'I got it.... add this in too' and the lady turns to me and the kid tells her in spanish I'm paying and she is kind of trying to form words and I just say 'hey, merrry christmas' and the kid finishes bagging her up and she says 'gracias' and nodding and leaves.

and I pay.

nobody asks for their receipt at that store.

It is how they know the locals from the tourists.

But, I can tell when I see the total that it isn't close to what the whole thing cost. I look at the kid, who is always solemn and reserved, and I see the tiniest smile.

and he says, 'Merry Christmas' and I smile and say, 'have a great rest of the night.'
 




New Posts

Top