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Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by telleutelleme, May 8, 2020.
"there ain't no good guys/there ain't no bad guys. there's only you and me. and we just disagree."
Just celebrated our 50th anniversary this year. I believe that the secret to our success is understanding what Willie Nelson had to say about it. "Sometime it's Heaven, sometimes it's Hell and sometimes I don't even know."
I once dated a woman who was a psych. nurse. My friend Dave warned me not to get involved with her because I would never win an argument. When I asked Dave how many arguments he wins he replied “good point “
It seems like nobody wins , we just stop shouting and anything said after that is the beginning of the next argument
Cooling off time and reassurance go a long way to working it out
That married life is too complicated, IMO. I would've suggested the Popeye's extra spicy chicken with the cajun rice.
BTW, my "success rate" is 100%, and I'm an excellent tipper.
So where does "I'll leave the onions out of the meatloaf tonight. I don't have anything to feed the dog." fit into all this?
Coming up on 30 years of marriage, and only gradually have I realized how much of a pain in the butt I am to live with. How we made it this far is a mystery; my wife is a saint, the best person I know, and my best friend. I don’t fight, because even if I don’t get it right away, I know I am better off letting her “win.” She wins, I win.
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My favorite is when I’ve kicked some major butt for hours on some household or yard project, then when I show it to her she immediately finds and points out the one little thing I missed or didn’t get quite perfect or if she can’t find anything wrong, she’ll pivot to some other project that needs attention next. I just loooooove that $#it. One of these days Alice! One of these friggin’ days!!!
My father-in-law always said he got the last words in any argument - “ Yes dear.”
I don’t always win, but I’m always right. Just don’t tell her I said that.
So you want to argue huh?
Last night, I used the word "neurotic" in conversation with her.
So that was not in the Win column.
Thanks for this one. Given the answers so far I'd say if it was a poll, wives win. BTW - we had steak and salad. No dessert.
I'd say you won. But you don't know it.
Despite your own efforts, you narrowly avoided an opportunity get fatter and more unhealthy.
47 years for us as well. She cooks, I don't. Well, I can make breakfast, but not much else. I used to BBQ some, but haven't been allowed to do that since our house fire in 2010. (I started a thread on that a couple of days ago.)
We never argue about food. In fact, my wife most often has to coax out of me a preference. This is because she knows me, and rarely springs something on me I don't like. And because she knows how boring I can be, from her perspective.
For example, when we go out to eat, unless it's a new restaurant to us, I already know what my order is when I walk through their doors. I have a standard order at each our regular places, and I very rarely ever deviate from that. My wife, OTOH, never orders the same thing twice.
So, back to meal preparation at home. She knows I will tell her if I'm actually having a craving for something. I know she won't throw me a culinary curve ball. And I also know that variety is the spice of life for her taste buds. So I acquiesce about food. It's not a risky proposition from my perspective, and it's certainly not worth arguing over.
This has, and is a problem for us, well not really since I acquiesce and eat what she likes. We've lived a long time, so I reckon she's a pretty good meal planner. Left to my own devices, there are only a few food groups, meat, potatoes, gravy, bread and desert. She continually fixes me a large salad, that I'm expected to consume enthusiastically. Every bite I take, I swear I can taste not only the irrigation water that grew it, but the irrigators galoshes, and the worms, and bugs that live in the soil. How anyone would intentionally without being under duress put that stuff in his mouth is a COMPLETE mystery to me! I fully expect one day to fart, and a large plumage of salad to pop out of my rear, and be mistakenly shot for a turkey.
Thanks for the honesty Slap. Some of these remarks, sound like, "We've been married for 200 years, and she's just perfect, and I just let her do whatever she wants, and I'm so happy doing whatever she tells me to do, 'cause I'm just helpless and difficult to live with, I can't believe someone as wonderful as her puts up with l'il ol' me..." Gadzooks men, pull your selves together!!
If she cooked that for you then you won.
My wife asked me for my opinion today.
I thought about it and then spoke honestly.
It went well.
Had a drill sergeant who always used a similar line. "I may not be right, but with you I am never wrong".