I quit my band and now I'm bummed

Refugee

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Mar 8, 2021
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San Francisco, CA
Yeah, gigging gets old. Even locally. just moving all of that gear. having to compromise on smaller, more portable stuff. My last band decided to throw in the towel. Now we just get together at drummer's house. Get to keep all of our big gear there all the time. Plug in and rock out to noone but ourselves. It's awesome. No really late nights. Not a ton of driving. Take breaks whenever you want. Smoke tons of weed if you want. Getting to play that 100W SFTR. It's very liberating.
 

Johnny Dubs

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Normal.

It was long overdue time for a break.

Toiling that hard, for so many hours (and for so little pay) is what I call 'working for bus fare back'.
Or maybe David Baerwald said it, and I stole it.

Either way, you were right to quit and to reassess your options.

:)
Great album (and great song but the “stallion” line kills it for me lol)
 

drmordo

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Jun 27, 2019
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Tampa, FL
Really good and popular classic country weekend band, 6 piece with pedal steel, fiddle and good sound person. Should be Telecaster heaven and it largely was but I grew tired of being a hired hand with little say in material, song lists, dress, etc. Since the bad thing we had to venture further out of town for gigs - Choice A: leave at noon or 1:00 on Saturday afternoon and get back home at 4:30 or 5:00 am provided there was no car or other trouble on the road, or Choice B: leave at noon or 1:00 Saturday afternoon and stay at a hotel after the gig, get home Sunday around noon. Traveling home netted $100 - $130 less meals and fuel, Staying overnight netted the same money less meals, fuel and hotel...either way the pay wasn't great and the weekend was shot. Finished out a string of gigs and called it quits with a couple month break looming, still on good terms with the band.

Other than the above mentioned frustrations I had 4 years of good fun and the band guys are all decent, very talented musicians. At 60 years old the late nights and travel were becoming an issue. However, last Saturday around 9:00 I started growing antsy and restless and recognized that I was missing playing. Now I'm having withdrawal of sorts, I thought I'd take the rest of this year and next year off to catch up and do some woodshedding but I've been toying with the idea of contacting another band that stays a little more local and had expressed some interest this past year.

Normal or neurotic?

NORMAL. I love to play, but there's no way I would work those hours for $130. $130 is more like, "drive 30 mins to the three hour gig that someone else set up and then drive home" money.
 

middy

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Apr 28, 2010
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MSP
I commute 5 hours and play 3 hours for $200 once a month... that's barely worth my time if it wasn't so damn fun.

You need to get paid more for that kind of driving or really, really dig playing with the people in your band, or it's not worth it.
 

39martind18

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Joined
Jul 31, 2012
Posts
4,137
Age
72
Location
Spring TX
I fully understand the "missing playing" thing. When the Great Unmentionable closed things down, my main market, senior living centers, REALLY shut down. For 9 months, after playing 3-4 shows a week, down to nothing overnight, put a BIG hole in my playing world. Fortunately, from a financial standpoint, the income, while missed, proved that it wasn't absolutely necessary to pay the bills, which was a blessing: it provided a sense of independence, that our retirement income was more than sufficient to cover the bills, and then some. Now that things have somewhat returned to normal, if Mrs. 39 wants to take a trip in the RV, I just don't book a week or so, and off we go! Retirement is gooooood!
 

1955

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Apr 10, 2010
Posts
11,696
Location
.
Oh music, how my heart raced for thee
Like a little tourist boy
Delighting down the perfumed corridor
Studying quick but not understanding
The confounded faces in the frames
And I stood at once
In the empty grandeur of your chamber
Whispering
 

2HBStrat

Friend of Leo's
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Posts
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Location
Four Rivers Area of Middle America
Really good and popular classic country weekend band, 6 piece with pedal steel, fiddle and good sound person. Should be Telecaster heaven and it largely was but I grew tired of being a hired hand with little say in material, song lists, dress, etc. Since the bad thing we had to venture further out of town for gigs - Choice A: leave at noon or 1:00 on Saturday afternoon and get back home at 4:30 or 5:00 am provided there was no car or other trouble on the road, or Choice B: leave at noon or 1:00 Saturday afternoon and stay at a hotel after the gig, get home Sunday around noon. Traveling home netted $100 - $130 less meals and fuel, Staying overnight netted the same money less meals, fuel and hotel...either way the pay wasn't great and the weekend was shot. Finished out a string of gigs and called it quits with a couple month break looming, still on good terms with the band.

Other than the above mentioned frustrations I had 4 years of good fun and the band guys are all decent, very talented musicians. At 60 years old the late nights and travel were becoming an issue. However, last Saturday around 9:00 I started growing antsy and restless and recognized that I was missing playing. Now I'm having withdrawal of sorts, I thought I'd take the rest of this year and next year off to catch up and do some woodshedding but I've been toying with the idea of contacting another band that stays a little more local and had expressed some interest this past year.

Normal or neurotic?
Can't it be both? Get back on that horse. I felt bummed cause I had to quit one of my bands due to health problems so I started another band and feel a lot better.

NORMAL. I love to play, but there's no way I would work those hours for $130. $130 is more like, "drive 30 mins to the three hour gig that someone else set up and then drive home" money.
I agree. Not enough $$$ for those hours.
 

msalama

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Joined
Jul 16, 2021
Posts
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Location
EUnistan
taking a year off to 'woodshed' is pretty silly, at the age of 60. How many years do you actually think you have left?
Right, deliberately insulting the guy because of his age. Were you born an [email protected]@hat or do you work at it? EDIT: Ah, I see you're even older yourself. So how many years do you think YOU'VE left, Einstein?
 

CV Jee Beez

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Joined
Nov 24, 2016
Posts
1,732
Location
Duarte, CA
Normal. I love playing in band like a dog likes playing catch.

A lot of situations are less than desirable so, I have the itch and kiss another frog.
 

Nogoodnamesleft

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Joined
Aug 19, 2020
Posts
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Canaduh
I think you just need to get a girlfriend in each of the remote locations that you play in to keep expenses low.
I don’t know about that. Lawyers aren’t cheap.

In all seriousness though, if it’s not fun I wouldn’t do it. I don’t depend on music to feed myself. That was conscious decision I made as a teenager because music was TOO important to start hating. If you’re able to do it because you like it, keep it that way. Sounds like you made the right call.
 

Tenderfoot

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Joined
May 8, 2014
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76
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Katy, TX
Normal.

Haven't been in a band since 1996 but the itch is still there but at my age, I resolved myself to play at home, with my friend and once in a blue moon, at an open mike. Like you, I also got burned out with all the travel, late hours and only breaking even most of the time (except for New Year's gigs). I took a 6-month break in the mid-seventies which was the best thing I ever did insofar as playing in a band as it allowed me to take a deep breath, relax and enjoy having weekends and (more) weekdays free. After six months I started gigging again and, unlike when I quit playing, it actually was fun once again;)
 

dogmeat

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Oct 12, 2017
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Alaska
"when you got nuthin' but groupies and roadies to love you....

and a pile of dirty laundry by the hotel door"
 

24 track

Telefied
Ad Free Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2014
Posts
20,883
Location
kamloops bc
Really good and popular classic country weekend band, 6 piece with pedal steel, fiddle and good sound person. Should be Telecaster heaven and it largely was but I grew tired of being a hired hand with little say in material, song lists, dress, etc. Since the bad thing we had to venture further out of town for gigs - Choice A: leave at noon or 1:00 on Saturday afternoon and get back home at 4:30 or 5:00 am provided there was no car or other trouble on the road, or Choice B: leave at noon or 1:00 Saturday afternoon and stay at a hotel after the gig, get home Sunday around noon. Traveling home netted $100 - $130 less meals and fuel, Staying overnight netted the same money less meals, fuel and hotel...either way the pay wasn't great and the weekend was shot. Finished out a string of gigs and called it quits with a couple month break looming, still on good terms with the band.

Other than the above mentioned frustrations I had 4 years of good fun and the band guys are all decent, very talented musicians. At 60 years old the late nights and travel were becoming an issue. However, last Saturday around 9:00 I started growing antsy and restless and recognized that I was missing playing. Now I'm having withdrawal of sorts, I thought I'd take the rest of this year and next year off to catch up and do some woodshedding but I've been toying with the idea of contacting another band that stays a little more local and had expressed some interest this past year.

Normal or neurotic?
After i left my last band , too much here to list the reasons , I tried out for another band in town , we hit it off , it was fun, the issues were I would have to drive 1 hr each way to play 2 hrs on the button, pack up and drive another hour home , hell I'm just getting started after 2 hrs. I asked the members what their goals were , they stated " get good and play bars, doing covers" , I could see the writing on the wall , I couldnt do it, I had to decline .it could have been fine but not worth the efforts involved .
 




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