I never outgrew notions like friendship, love and loyalty...

blowtorch

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I guess I'd just have to ask you if you've ever lost someone you loved by them dying?
Excellent point TD makes.
That's not something you can really mentally pre-program yourself in preparation for, to galvanize against.

Not at all.

And it proves the point that the heart being broken is not always the fault of the person in pain having set inevitably impossible-to-keep expectations of others
 

blowtorch

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TD I've said it before and I'll say it again.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
And, I'm aware that my words mean absolutely nothing, against that.
But it's ali I have that I can offer.
 

Toto'sDad

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TD I've said it before and I'll say it again.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
And, I'm aware that my words mean absolutely nothing, against that.
But it's ali I have that I can offer.

Thank you BT, I appreciate that. I know you've lost unborn children in your family I know that's got to be tough. My son and I developed a relationship over the years that the memory of helps sustain me. You spoke of friends, my son was my friend, not only a friend, but you could also count on him 100%. When I was thinking of moving to Arkansas his wife asked him what he was going to do if I moved? He said, well I'll hook onto my best backhoe, with my best dump truck and head to Arkansas! He wasn't kidding either.
 

getbent

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"Loyalty one way is stupidity" - Derek Jeter

it is a point to consider. in the context of the quoted, who is a person who is effectively friendless (like Michael Jordan) and who, for being such a popular figure, is isolated and forever onguard (I'm sure for cause)

The cautionary tale being, be careful what you wish for, strive for when you attain it, it may leave you all alone.
 

Oxidao

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Good job, I like it

Now I can see more than one analogy between our old friend Iggy and you.

edit


Welll... Iggy's got a t-shirt now
 

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Harry Styron

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Sorry to say that nothing of what i have read has worried me more than the reality of what has happened to our country...

Half of americans do NOT believe in reality or truth anymore.

Half of americans are choosing leaders who are really out of touch with reality.

Friendship? Love? Loyalty?

Lets try to get back to reality first?

I am afraid no one really even knows what those things really mean and if you were to give them some truths about these things - they would reject the truth.

One small example:
Loyalty? Ok why would I want or expect loyalty from anyone or anything?

If I "expect" loyalty - here is the stone cold truth: I have a DEMAND of someone. I am asking that person to do things in the way that please me or abide by MY wishes. Worse - when that person goes on his/her merry way and lives life to THEIR satisfaction - I will PUNISH MYSELF - by LABELING THEM DISLOYAL!

Insanity.

That ^ was just a small example of what "loyalty" really means. That was truth. I bet no one wants to hear that.

I do not demand loyalty of anyone - I treat people with respect and however they act or fail to act - it DOES NOT affect me or offend me because I never expected or demanded anything from them.

If/when you learn to see thru yourself - you will then see thru everyone. We are basically all dictators - "I will love you if you act in ways i approve of - but when you act in ways to please YOURSELF - I will punish myself and threaten to with-hold my love" Yup - a dictator.
This was me - until I saw thru myself.
This allowed me to begin seeing thru everyone else and I stopped making demands. I stopped expecting others to act in ways that I approved of.

I know this is not what most want to hear - so I will spare you the rest of my "views."

Be well.
Your “essay” reminds me of the trite saying, “Half the money spent on advertising is wasted—I wish I knew which half.”
 

telemystix

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I guess I'd just have to ask you if you've ever lost someone you loved by them dying?
Yes. Several people. A daughter, my mom, dad, a stepson (but i considered my son - i detest the title of “step” son)

I felt pain every single time, still do.

The brutal brutal question i HAD to ask myself?
Here it is:

“Did you NOT know that humans died?” “Did you assume you would outlive them?”

We always slip and return to our conditioning and feel pain at loss of loved ones. It’s ok to grieve, feel pain and loss. Its ok to miss them. I miss them every day.

I then do what we all do- return to life, living, learning, staying aware of how brief and fragile life is.

Cheers
 

Toto'sDad

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Yes. Several people. A daughter, my mom, dad, a stepson (but i considered my son - i detest the title of “step” son)

I felt pain every single time, still do.

The brutal brutal question i HAD to ask myself?
Here it is:

“Did you NOT know that humans died?” “Did you assume you would outlive them?”

We always slip and return to our conditioning and feel pain at loss of loved ones. It’s ok to grieve, feel pain and loss. Its ok to miss them. I miss them every day.

I then do what we all do- return to life, living, learning, staying aware of how brief and fragile life is.

Cheers
Asked and answered.
 

Greggorios

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"Reality never lives up to all that it used to be
Never seemed quite what it use to seem"

Beth Orton
 

Toto'sDad

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"Reality never lives up to all that it used to be
Never seemed quite what it use to seem"

Beth Orton
When I was about eleven years old, I spent part of the summer on a farm with some friends. There was a wonderful place I used to pull off my clothes and swim in, it was near an irrigation standpipe, the water was crystal clear, and there was long grass growing underwater that would twist and turn with the current. There was kind of a wide place in the irrigation ditch where it made a turn. It became my little secret pleasure every day when the sun was high overhead to swim there.

After the summer, I had call to be out at the farm, and ran down to my secret swimming hole to see how it looked. The grass was gone, it was terribly muddy, since the water had been turned off for the winter, all that remained was an ugly mudhole in the ground. I wished that I had never returned.
 

StratDal

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Make the right choices; they're easy 90% of the time. It's the ones we don't that we remember in the middle of the night and make us think, "^&%#, I was an @sshole."
 




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