I never outgrew notions like friendship, love and loyalty...

Oxidao

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Have you ever loved?
have you ever been loyal?
have you ever got a friend?
Those exists.
Sometimes things are for ever, sometimes they are not.
Sometimes you are lucky, and sometimes you are not.

I think it is people who believe in Oz, the ones who propose or expect supreme absolute values.

It is true that I know I am a lucky man, although I've been pissed off thousands of times.
 

Toto'sDad

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Having just finished reading every post in this entire thread thus far, I’ve now thankfully forgotten what it was originally about. I’m off to have some FaceTime with my daughter and grandkids.

If you can't remember what this thread was about, let's move on to the next part of the test.

Please draw a circle, put the numbers of a clock on it, and draw the hands pointing at 10 minutes to eleven.
 

Jupiter

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You know when you're a kid in high school, and you swear those lifelong friendships where you'll always be loyal and true, and that little girl you were dating was always going to be your gal? Those are the finest hours most will ever know.
I don't remember ever swearing or thinking that, though I also never predicted things'd be like THIS either
 

Toto'sDad

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I fear you keep missing the point…

You wont become a unfeeling robot but you just might become free

Free of fear, free of dependence on other humans, free of inner conflict,etc

Being aware and detached is another way of saying you are free.

Unless you would rather be a slave. A slave to the whims of other people for your own happiness which IS your own responsibility.

Let me ask you : what would you say causes unhappiness?

After pondering on a multitude of reasons or events… you just might arrive at this truth…

That your unhappiness is being caused by the thinking in YOUR head. Not by any other person, event or thing.

Nope. The cause of your (and mine) unhappiness is the thinking in our head.
I guess I'd just have to ask you if you've ever lost someone you loved by them dying?
 

Toto'sDad

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I don't remember ever swearing or thinking that, though I also never predicted things'd be like THIS either
Actually, some friends and I did. We were going to never drift apart, but we eventually did. Nothing ever felt as close as that bond while it lasted though. Only the very young can be naïve enough to take such an oath, and there lies the beauty of youth.
 

JeffroJones

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If you examine yourself and you are of the belief that someone has hurt you or betrayed you - it is YOU who is out of touch with reality.
You present some beautiful thoughts, telemystix, but how practical are they, no offence intended. Maybe the reality is, someone really HAS hurt you and betrayed you. These sad occurrences happen with monotonous frequency.

If I have demands/expectations of others - I can ONLY manipulate them to get my needs fulfilled
But politics and manipulation are part of any group/family/tribe. Do you know how much manipulation I use to get everybody to turn up to my Dad's 80th. birthday party? A lot!

true love is given without any conditions.
Once again, beautifully put.
But I have conditions.
Don't steal my stuff.
Don't beat the kids.
Youngsters - show some respect!
etc.
Sorry to be grumpy, telemystix, but, you know, family life.
Its a perpetual negotiation :cool:

:::
 
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Wound_Up

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Interesting timing this thread, I was thinking in this vein today.

I've had everyone I know turn their back on me at one time or another, and I never expected family to do it, and when they did it really stung. I disappeared deep down a bottle for many years afterwards and although I'm now sober, I don't think I'll ever forget the pain of knowing the people closest to you can turn when the bond becomes inconvenient for whatever reason.

People are easily bought and easily lost. This is my experience, and as a result I have very little loyalty nor time for anyone anymore. It isn't that I turn on people, I just choose to not let them close to me in the first place, because what's the point.

I learned that the hard way. When my daughter passed away, I expected to see all of the friends I grew up with at the funeral. These are people I spent literal YEARS of my life with. Literally spent 1000s of days together. Grew up in the same neighborhood and we were ALL close. People I still saw ALLLLL the time.

So, when my daughter was killed in 2014, not one single person showed up. They wouldn't even answer their phones. I didn't get so much as a text asking if I needed anything.

Its been just over 8 yrs since I've spoken to any of them. F- em. The sad part is I would've been there had any of them lost one of their children. Today? F- em. I got nothing for em. Sorry mf'ers. I've still yet to hear from 95% of them.
 

Colo Springs E

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This has been an interesting read. Lots of stuff I agree with here, some not so much. Still enjoy all the perspectives.

Like most everyone here, I've been hurt by or disappointed in somebody else's actions. I have also no doubt hurt people and let friends or family members down as well. I think the egregiousness and number of wrongs done matter a lot. Is it bad to bail on a friend who counted on me to help him move on a Saturday? Sure, but if that's pretty much the only time I failed him... he's got some pretty high standards if he'd completely bail on our friendship over it. (never had this happen, just an example)

The bank of goodwill.... need to have some collateral built up for those times we either don't show up, or don't show up well.

Sorry for whatever may be going on that led to posting of this topic blowtorch. Hopefully you'll work through it, and wind up in a good place.
 

FuzzWatt

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I learned that the hard way. When my daughter passed away, I expected to see all of the friends I grew up with at the funeral. These are people I spent literal YEARS of my life with. Literally spent 1000s of days together. Grew up in the same neighborhood and we were ALL close. People I still saw ALLLLL the time.

So, when my daughter was killed in 2014, not one single person showed up. They wouldn't even answer their phones. I didn't get so much as a text asking if I needed anything.

Its been just over 8 yrs since I've spoken to any of them. F- em. The sad part is I would've been there had any of them lost one of their children. Today? F- em. I got nothing for em. Sorry mf'ers. I've still yet to hear from 95% of them.

I'm so sorry to hear all that. People are hugely disappointing and largely self interested. I hope you're surrounded by good people these days.
 

Telekarster

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I learned that the hard way. When my daughter passed away, I expected to see all of the friends I grew up with at the funeral. These are people I spent literal YEARS of my life with. Literally spent 1000s of days together. Grew up in the same neighborhood and we were ALL close. People I still saw ALLLLL the time.

So, when my daughter was killed in 2014, not one single person showed up. They wouldn't even answer their phones. I didn't get so much as a text asking if I needed anything.

Its been just over 8 yrs since I've spoken to any of them. F- em. The sad part is I would've been there had any of them lost one of their children. Today? F- em. I got nothing for em. Sorry mf'ers. I've still yet to hear from 95% of them.

Man.... I don't know what to say. That's terrible, and hard to imagine why. Astonishing. Very sorry to hear of your daughter's passing too. My deepest sympathies and condolences man, though years late, but hope you and yours have found some healing and peace over the years.
 




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