but it is...I sort of get what you are saying, but I had a friend with a wife and two children who came home from work unexpectedly one night. He found his wife "entertaining" another man I'd say at that point he met the qualifications of being betrayed. Their relationship ended, the children suffered, he suffered, even the woman suffered. The only one who didn't suffer was the guy who went out the back door at a high rate of speed. I'm not sure betrayal is a matter of how one accepts things.
I am sure that was a painful thing to experience and most people who go thru this suffer a lot of pain/anguish/anger etc...
however - here is where the road you choose and what you learn from it and what you teach your children about it is where people differ...
person 1 -
grieves and goes thru the stages of grief and recovery and the result is this;
"lying (insert names/labels) , betrayed me, cheater, i'll never marry, etc"
and then goes on thru their life until the next disappointment or betrayal where he will rinse/repeat the same response.
person 2 -
goes thru the grieving process/stages and examines himself, his beliefs/ his illusions about trust about love about dependence on another human being for his own happiness and he comes out on the other side this way:
"well, it was not how i hoped it would go but people are people and do things to satisfy their own needs and desires and my ex chose her path and we disagreed and I wish her the best"
(this person experienced much pain - the pain of realizing that his conditioning and his false beliefs about love/trust/marriage etc - were FALSE BELIEFS!)
Now person 2 has grown and understands that it is meaningless to make people promise you the world and then punish yourself when they break those promises...
instead - RID yourself of illusions and expectations - and STOP trying to protect yourself from OTHERS ACTIONS -
when you are aware - you quickly discover that there is nothing to protect - if you have zero expectations or demands - nothing will destroy you or hurt you
sure - the OLD conditioning will kick in and you will catch yourself allowing your emotions to trick you -
until you snap back on your growth and how you shed your false illusions and return to your better self...
just two different ways...