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I just got told to calm down (medical profession rant)

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by rebelwoclue, Jun 19, 2016.

  1. rebelwoclue

    rebelwoclue Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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    My wife is in pain. She just had major back surgery a few days ago and because she has been on pain meds for many years, she has a high tolerance to the meds. The nurses have been good and I do understand that they have lots of other patients and duties, but my wife was in pain and the IV Tylenol drip that was to be administered (along with the other heavy-duty meds) wasn't dripping and wasn't showing on the IV panel- just a full bottle sitting there for the past hour- with my wife crying out. I pushed the call button and was told that someone would be there shortly, Then after waiting a few minutes I walked out the door and saw her nurse coming- she could see I was concerned. I told her the Tylenol wasn't dripping and she was in pain- she told me to calm down- I hadn't even raised my voice although the expression on my face I'm sure was probably made her get defensive right away. She tried to explain that sometimes the bottle looks full but still has a little in it, (like I didn't really look to check). I told her no that wasn't the case and to go in and look. When she saw the bottle was full and nothing was happening, she said, "oh, this happens all the time- any nurse will tell you that" (I don't know anything)
    I said, "all I know is that my wife is in pain and that medication isn't getting to her" She finally said that she would fix it and I said please.
    Now it is clear that all the nurses have me pegged as an enemy...
     
  2. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    When my wife was in the hospital for her second catheter ablation procedure. A big lummox male nurse came in, intending to give her a shot of morphine. Her pulse was already down to 40 bpm. I stopped him and told him if he gave her morphine he'd kill her with her heart rate being that low. He went to get security and the head nurse. When the head nurse found out what he was trying to do, and looked at my wife's vital signs, she told the nurse that I was right. She said for him to come with her, I didn't see him anymore after that. When my wife is in the hospital for anything, I stay with her to watch after her. Nothing wrong with what you did, I'd have done the same thing.

    I don't know who authorized the morphine for my wife, but they were wrong to do so. Had I not been there, it would have not been good.
     
  3. Wally

    Wally Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I hope your wife's recovery goes well. Perhaps a discussion of this situation with the doctor would be a way to avoid future problems? IMHO, "this happened all of the time" is not something that a medical professional should use as an explanation as to why doctor's orders are not being fulfilled. If this thing 'happens all of the time', IMHO the nursing staff has been allowed to become negligent; and they should be put under new operational guidelines to decrease the occurrence of this type of neglect.....such problems will occur, but this situation should not be an operational standard..as this nurse seems to think, right? I would also write out a concise and well-thought out explanation of this to the hospital administration..,head of nursing, as well. Good feedback helps them run a 'tight ship'. IMHO, that particular nurse needs to be part of a discussion with her superiors as to her professional duties and demeanor.
     
  4. JustStartingOut

    JustStartingOut Tele-Holic Ad Free Member

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    I have yet to find a use for nurses, especially the ones in hospitals. My mom was sick for many years and in and out of the hospital for various reasons, my sister or I stayed with her all the time. I could go on and on about all the ways they screwed up but will just leave it at I have no use for them.

    Don't worry about being on their 'enemy' list, pay attention to what they are doing (or, in this case, not doing) and bring it to their attention. There is absolutely no reason for you not to question what they are doing or why. It's up to you to make sure your wife gets the care she needs.
     
  5. Wally

    Wally Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Toto's Dad, kudos for being on the job. I have had to intervene to change the method of treatment before....to stop a pulmonologist from continuing his method of weaning my mother from a vent.
    My mother's condition had gone from improving from a quad bypass with a gall bladder infection and removal while in ICU recovering from the bypass to development of pneumonia after he started his method of removing her from the ventilator. I knew that there was more than one way to go about this 'weaning' process. When I asked him if he though his method had anything to do with my mother's worsening condition, he told me sharply that he had been doing this work for 15 years and not to question his job...his words. I didn't have to think about it..."You don't have this job anymore." was my reply. A new pulmonologitspulmonologis was brought in, a different method was begun, and my mother amazed the staff by leaving that hospital.
    I never let medicos go unchecked as if they are the gods that some people seem to think they are.
     
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  6. cabra velha

    cabra velha Tele-Afflicted Ad Free Member

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    MD's have just as many problems with nurses as patients do, I realise its a difficult job but they are compensated well for it and often don't perform with the professionalism that goes with the responsibility. Anyone in in health care will tell you, its usually extremely difficult to get rid of a bad nurse.
     
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  7. tap4154

    tap4154 Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    People stuck in hospital beds REALLY need advocates. Seen this many times while sitting in the room with my mom over the past few years for various reasons. Have to watch everything like a hawk, and step in when you think something is ill-advised or wrong. I always try to be calm and respectful, to keep from becoming an enemy, but had to get stern with one cardiologist who - without even visiting my mom - ordered a chemical stress test after the first doc had quickly and errantly diagnosed her GERD as a heart condition, based on nothing but her complaint of chest pain. The cardiologist came to the room to meet with me, and quickly dismissed all my concerns about possible deadly effects in someone in my mom's frail condition & age, but I told her to not do the test, and she huffed out of the room.

    Mom was unable to walk a treadmill, so they wanted to inject a drug to make her heart race as she laid on the gurney hooked up to a monitor. It can result in death on the gurney or even from a heart attack weeks later, especially in the elderly. She was so weak at the time with a UTI and back problem it could have killed her. A week later the doc that misdiagnosed her heart condition told me he'd heard I refused the test and said I was correct. He'd seen folks in her condition die during or after it.

    Just recently she had another bad UTI and large shingles outbreak. First doc to see her said she wasn't that concerned about the shingles, and was going to just send mom home with oral Cipro for the UTI. I questioned that then later another doc came in and was very concerned about the shingles, and put her in an isolation room for a week on IV Cipro and Acyclovir for the shingles.

    So I've REALLY become aware that many docs don't have a clue what they're doing, and a nephew's wife who is a new doc told us she's seen some comrades duck into an empty room or stairwell to Google illnesses before seeing a patient.

    BTW, I've found most nurses to be great. Some have really gone out of their way to help and really care. Only had a couple out of many that were sub-par.
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2016
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  8. WigWam

    WigWam TDPRI Member

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    My grandmother is a nurse, and can tell you stories all day long of how bad nurses are. SHe works at a government run hospital which has very restrictive firing practices. Some of those nurses have been in fistfights before, given paid leave, and then return to work a few weeks later. It's insanity.
    EDIT
    That's not to say all nurses are bad. I think it is probably a combination of what kind of stress is involved with how much they think they can get a way with slacking off. I find outpatient centers (a low stress environment) to have some of the friendliest, most relaxed nurses I've met.
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2016
  9. kelnet

    kelnet Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I spent three weeks in hospital a number of years ago, and the nurses were incredible. Every single one of them was professional and efficient, yet caring, sensitive, and gentle. I have never had a bad experience with a nurse, but then, I've never needed health care outside of Canada.
     
  10. dented

    dented Doctor of Teleocity

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    Wow, you guys have some bad luck with nurses. Sorry Reb that your wife has to go through life with the pain and be subjected to hospital stays. First of all you are right. The words "Calm down" are condescending. Under no circumstances should a hospital staff member say that. They should be proactive about caring for wife's needs and your concerns. "Let me look at that right away and see if there is something I can do, if not I will find someone who can." That is the response to you coming out of that room. No matter how busy you are the staff must remember to take a deep breath and meet it head on and take care of the patient. I work in a first class Level One hospital and my coworkers would jump on my ****e right away if I said that to a family member in the way it was delivered. It could have been handled much better. I believe my hospital is held to higher standards since we are a teaching hospital with a nursing college and medical school. We won't stand for anyone breaking the rules or mistreating anyone.

    And yes to everyone if you think something is not right in your hospital stay. Always bring up the questions you have. The right people give you the right answers.
     
  11. merseymale

    merseymale Tele-Meister

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    To OP:

    It was an old hospital porter who 1st told me that phrase "the squeekiest wheel gets the grease!"

    Don't feel bad about being on the nurses Radar -if anything they'll probably do better ;-)

    At the end of the day think how bad you'd be feeling right now if you HADNT said anything? There'd be a nurse's forum with a "...and to think after all this time the husband just sat looking st her IVdrip & said nothing!!" type of post...!
     
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  12. cabra velha

    cabra velha Tele-Afflicted Ad Free Member

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    Having been a patient in both Canadian and American hospitals I think there is something in this.
     
  13. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I've been in similar situations and once threatened a tech that I would physically stop him if he continued with his task that a doctor had within the last half hour stated should not be done at that time.
    A problem that I've seen a lot is that a patient has many revolving care givers, and if they don't all update the chart they have no way of knowing what the most recent decisions were.
    A patient may have a primary care, and two or three specialist doctors who never consult one another on the case because they are not in the same place at the same time.
    They arrive on shift and look at the orders in the computer, meanwhile the specialist of the hour is assessing the patients current condition, meanwhile the chart and the nurses station have other parts but not all the information.

    I suspect that for the avoidance (or defense) of malpractice suits, hospital staff are required to do only and exactly what is written on the chart, and to never follow the advice of family members who may or may not know what they're talking about.
    I've dealt with family in the great Mass General, where the tech is as good as it gets, and the flip side is that they (at that time) were too big a ship to make quick turns.
    I've also dealt with family in a much smaller local Maine hospital, and found less miscommunication, yet still needed to keep track of my Mothers conditions and make connections that different doctors were missing.
    Sometimes patients forget or don't think to tell the right doctor at the right time the right symptom (or other meds) that could change the diagnosis or treatment, and they need the help of family to put things together.
    Sometime the simple lack of time the docs spend with each patient can damage the chain of communication needed to ensure meds and other treatment is helpful and not harmful.

    I understand that because of the sheer number of new meds with no long term info, emergency room docs are unable to calculate all possible drug interactions in the time they have to diagnose and treat a patient near death.
    Some of these interactions only get documented after enough patients die needlessly, but the profit outweighs the lawsuit payout, and patients cry out for new drugs to save their lives.
    Healthcare is a mad mad world.
     
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  14. Brad Pittiful

    Brad Pittiful Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    sorry to hear of your wifes pain...one thing they dont teach is bedside manner...some nurses dont have it some do...they are the special ones
     
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  15. alnicopu

    alnicopu Friend of Leo's

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    My wife had the same issue with a broken scapula. She slipped went vertical and fell on the tile floor. Had to wait two weeks for the only Surgen in Atlanta to fix it. She was in agony for days. Then my sister in law, a pharmacist wrote a scathing, hand written letter to the staff and they finally gave her morphine in an IV instead of a muscle shot. They should have known better. Intramuscular is very ineffective. Sorry for her situation.
     
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  16. memorex

    memorex Friend of Leo's

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    When my wife was in the hospital with a bleeding ulcer, they couldn't locate it for two weeks. She almost died twice because of the staffs' inattentiveness. On one occasion, her GI specialist was out of town and the resident doctor didn't want to be responsible for ordering up a whole blood transfusion. When my wife went into atrial fibrillation, I yelled at the doctor that she was killing my wife. She said if I raised my voice to her again, she would call security. I responded that the next thing I would raise was the telephone to my ear as I called my attorney to sue her for malpractice. That shut everyone in the room up real fast. They got the blood and she didn't die, thank God. When her specialist got back, I quickly convinced him to transfer my wife to Northwestern, where they were able to locate the ulcer and cauterize it in one day.

    Just because a doctor or lawyer or other professional went to school for a long time doesn't prove that they're any good at what they do, and you shouldn't trust that they know what they're doing.
     
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  17. TelePhartz

    TelePhartz Friend of Leo's

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    Telling you to calm down? Next thing you know - the way the Med community works nowadays - they'll be sending you home with a fistfull of tranquilizers.

    Just say no. :cool:
     
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  18. boris bubbanov

    boris bubbanov Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    I think all this "coding" stuff, and jumping through hoops at the request of the hospital admins, gets the entire staff feeling pretty callous about the whole thing.

    The number of nurses who have held on to an effervescent personality and positive outlook on life over many work years is IMO very small.

    The apartment here in Germantown is adjacent to a whole host of medical facilities, some for cancer and some for other persistent illnesses and diseases. The huge numbers of personnel from these facilities who steal off the grounds to go sneak a couple smokes by the bike path or adjacent to the Wolf River, can be very depressing.

    The only advice I can offer is, just stay away from hospitals and surgical facilities. The number of negligently caused deaths associated with a trip to the hospital just sickens me.
     
  19. boredguy6060

    boredguy6060 Poster Extraordinaire

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    I have spent some time in a VA hospital and I can tell you that nurses vary drastically in the skills.

    Some are nightmares, some are wonderful, I had both.
    Hospitals are not a good place to get well!
    Your sleep is constantly being interrupted.
    I told a nurse on the late shift that if she woke me up one more time she was going to be wearing a bed pan for a hat.
    Next thing I know my room was full of orderlies ready to restrain me. In the end they put Valium in my IV to knock me out so her activities wouldn't wake me up.
    After that episode, all the nurses on the late shift were scared to disturb me while I was sleeping.
    They would ignore my call button, so one nite I got the phone number to the administrator and called her at home and ask why I was being ignored.
    After that everyone was on their best behavior, which is what they should have been in the first place.
    The squeaky wheel does indeed get the grease.
     
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  20. Wally

    Wally Telefied Ad Free Member

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    ^^^^^^higher powers in admin often have more effective manners of changing attitudes of the staff.
     
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