I have never been more sure about this, but I'm also scared to death about it.

Toto'sDad

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I might add this:

A coworker of mine clear back to the time period just before I retired encountered an old love one day, and they exchanged numbers and spoke a few times on the phone. We usually had lunch together every couple of weeks, and at lunch one day he kind of opened up and told me that the old love he had been talking to on the phone was someone he had actually lived with for a period of nearly ten years! On that day he said she had called the night before and wanted to have him come over or perhaps meet for dinner and see how things might progress from there.

He didn't say anything for at least six weeks about how it had gone with the lady, and their dinner date. Finally, my curiosity got the best of me, and I asked him how things had turned out with the "date." He looked at me for a good minute, and finally answered, nothing happened, I told her I didn't think it was a good idea for us to try and start back up again and haven't talked to her since. He's never mentioned it again, nor have I. This is no way applies to your situation, I'm just passing along something I happened to be the tiniest bit involved in.
 

MickM

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We talked about EVERYTHING, she and I have been completely open to each other.

But I'm not going to share any details on what we said.
Yikes! I missed the sentence where you're going to propose.
As far as details, they ain't none o' my bidness. Just saying that you're not 21 years old anymore and neither is she and there is likely more than re-kindled love and possible heartbreak at risk. All we can do is wish you the best!
 

Flaneur

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I remember how excited you were, when she showed up and how happy the Bad Dog guys were, for you- all of us, seemingly preaching restraint.
This frantic 'apping'? Does this mean you haven't seen her, recently? Or just that you're in constant communication, whenever you're apart? Either way......slow your roll, maybe? Just have fun together and let the life-long commitment part happen, down the road.
 

Jakedog

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Lot of ugliness and angry, bitter old men here. A whole lot.

Blazer, you do what you feel you should. If it’s supposed to work out, it will.

I went on one date with my wife, then didn’t see her again for a year. Circumstances just went sideways.

The next time I saw her I moved her into my place (from all the way across the country) that week, asked her to marry me less than three months after that, and now we’ve been hitched for 25 years, this September. There’s still not a single person on earth, except our kids, that I’d rather spend my time with. Has it all been perfect? Of course not. But I wouldn’t trade any of it.

I love love, man. Raising my glass to you both! I really am hoping for the best for you.
 

Blazer

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One thing I haven't told you guys is that she has Ehlers-Danlos, which is a muscle disease, which in her case means that she's in constant physical therapy sessions. She used to be in the medical profession for over 20 years and jokes that she went from wearing the scrubs to the hospital bed.

We're in constant contact, making good use of the technology which we hadn't had at our disposal back when we met. She herself told me that I should stop dreaming and make that dream a reality, since her debilitating health forced her to do the same.

But the majority of the reactions here, remind me so much of those people in town who declared me to be a lazy bum after I had my shoulder destroying accident and was bedridden for a couple of weeks. And I'm sure she agrees with me on what I'm about to say.

Don't judge on something you don't know or understand.
 
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Blue Bill

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Dude, if you love her, than everything will work out fine. Well, maybe. Heck, I've been married 30 years, and I'm still not sure it's gonna end well. But it's been a heck of a ride, no regrets. I sincerely wish you and her all the best.
 

Milspec

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This one hits home because it is very similar to my situation recently. I too had a high school romance drift away only to return 30 years later. We also picked it right back up like it was yesterday. It just always seemed so effortless to us, like the perfect match.

It was all going great for about a year, I even started to think about marriage, but then she accepted a job promotion and relocated to California. I remembered what I had forgotten during those 30 years, we were great together, but we had different lives and different goals which always got in the way.

I really want this story to work out for you, but I can understand the fear and I think that instinct is probably well founded. We tend to view the other the same way that we did decades earlier, but nobody remains the same person all that time. You are different, she is different, and you might just both be viewing the other like you did then without seeing the reality of now. I did that and can certainly understand how easy it is to make that mistake.

What you could try is to program your mind to dream it out. I used to work with a gal that was hypnotist and was a big believer in dream analysis. She told me to think about the problem as you go to sleep and then write down the details as soon as you wake. There might be some information there.

When I posed my brain the question about marrying, I had a dream that really helped. In the dream, we did get married and left on a cruise for the honeymoon. Everything was great, we were standing on deck waving to people at the dock. Everyone was happy, the weather was great, everything seemed perfect. Then I spotted the name of the ship "titanic"

I think my brain concluded that despite how things were going, the future together would not be good.
 

Cheap Trills

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what's the worse that could happen? :)

Good luck, hope she says "yes". lf it's forever, great. If it burns hot and fades like a roman candle... great too.

that's life and nothing anyone says here is going to stop you so go ahead leap. ;)
 

drmordo

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None of us are judging, we are just advising a bit of caution.

I don't know what it's like over there, but in the US getting married is giving half of everything you own to someone else. She might be great, she might be horrible. She might be great for 20 years and then become horrible. Either way she gets some of your stuff.

So we are just advising you to take it a bit slower since you don't really know what you are in for.

Last year my wife of 25 years decided to take the money and run, so I learned that lesson the very hard way. She'll get 3/4 of a $million out of me before I die. I wouldn't mind the money so much if we didn't have young boys that were also affected by her rather selfish decision.
 

Stanford Guitar

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In the words of Ray Charles:
You only live but once
And when you're dead you're done
So let the good times roll
 

JohnnyThul

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Just do, whatever feels good for you. Overthinking it does not help. If it fails, yeah well, then it fails, that's life. But if it doesn't fail, man, would you wanna miss out on that? I wouldn't.
And if it doesn't work out, you may feel bad for a while. And after that you have good stories to tell on parties or online forums :)

Life's too short.
 

Blazer

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what does your mother think?
Ah yes, the fact that I mentioned I live with my mother.

After my father passed away, the house was too big for her to live by herself. So I took over the house, converted the upper floor into my own living space, while she stayed in the quarters she and my dad shared.

We share the monthly costs and despite my disability, I help her out on daily tasks as well as I can.

As for what my mother thinks, I haven't mentioned it to her yet.
 




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