I got kicked out of yet another band...

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by teleblueman, May 11, 2019.

  1. teleblueman

    teleblueman Tele-Meister

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    Third time in three years . Actually, I left the first one after endless , non productive rehearsals and too much drinking (by other members). Second one, local touring blues band , "learn these 50 songs in two weeks 'cause we are booked to gig in 3". Well, I learned 15 songs real well, and 35 half ass. Boom! Your gone.
    A month later, I went to a local jam night & sat in with a singer/ rhythm guitarist, drummer, bass player for several tunes . I knew most of their tunes already. Afterward , they begged me to join their band 'cause they lost their lead guitar player (who formed his own band). Blah, blah, blah.
    We rehearsed for three weeks. Hard rock, even some metal (not my thing, but anyway). We then did a couple of "showcase" gigs where a few bands band will play 4-7 songs . Sounded good. I got my groove.
    Suddenly, they call me & cancel "practice". Several times. I text , no answer..??

    A three weeks go by & I figure they just dissolved. Then, yesterday I stop by the local coffee shop, & see a huge flyer with this band and their 'new" guitar player with their summer gigging schedule:mad:

    Now, here's the thing, I love to work hard, learn songs, and ESPECIALLY gig. Here's the other thing, We're talking about a bunch of middle aged guys here, not 20 year olds. I've also been playing since 1980. Gigged throughout college in a couple of popular bands, then quit for about 18 years while raising a family, etc. Picked up the guitar about 6 years ago & practice 2 hours a day. So, I'm not Jeff Beck, but I don't think I suck:oops:
    This is a rant, I know. But it's so frustrating. Seeing that flyer with all those gigs they have lined up really sucked. That what I want to do damnit! :). .

    Anyone else have a hard luck story?? You know misery loves company:rolleyes:
     
  2. raysachs

    raysachs Friend of Leo's

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    Regardless of the underlying reasons or issues, anyone who's gonna treat you like that you don't want to be playing with. If they have an issue with you, or if they just have a better fit with someone else, they should have manned up and told you directly instead of just letting you twist in the wind. I'm sure it sucks at the moment, but you're better off without those guys...
     
  3. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Yeah everyone should be more mature than that at this point in time, that's ridiculous, and I don't blame you being peeved. They coulda just been forthright with you, instead of pulling the ghosting act. Buncha cowards
     
  4. Milspec

    Milspec Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    It is chemistry man, if it isn't there it isn't there. I wouldn't take it personally despite the way that they handled it.

    A buddy of mine is probably the best player I have ever seen. Seriously, a monster player who is endorsed by Ibanez, yet he has been fired by at least 4 bands that i know of because he was simply too damn good. The bands didn't like having him around because it made them feel inferior and unable to keep up. It was bad chemistry, can't have a star player surrounded by bums and expect a team to form. Sounds like you guys just didn't click, too bad they chose to not address it the proper way, but I still wouldn't take it too personally.
     
  5. tery

    tery Doctor of Teleocity

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    Start your own band … and play by your own rules .
     
  6. Paul in Colorado

    Paul in Colorado Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Start your own band. Steal their gigs.

    Cowards, I say!
     
  7. Milspec

    Milspec Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    Telecastoff1 and Toadtele like this.
  8. drf64

    drf64 Poster Extraordinaire

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    at least you didn't join a band, perform a hostile takeover, then fire everybody and replace them with family members. Yes, one of our own did that circa 2010.
     
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  9. G.Rotten

    G.Rotten Tele-Afflicted

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    I find a lot more people are ok with being super flaky these days. I'd like to think grown ups could act grown up, but "ghosting" vs actually dealing with anything has become socially acceptable.

    While it wasn't handled properly I agree with many above. You're better off without them.
     
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  10. Chunkocaster

    Chunkocaster Poster Extraordinaire

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    Pick your own favourite songs and advertise for band members to join you.
    There's nothing worse than playing a bunch of songs you aren't into just to please others imo. It's akin to taking a chitty job you don't like just to pay the bills. I have no idea how people can do that just to be playing, kind of defeats the whole point of playing imo.
    Plus they might leave but they cant fire you if you employed them.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2019
  11. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Have to wonder if this is the direction society is moving, where social media informs personal interaction rather than the other way around.

    At work many new applicants don't show up for interviews and block the manager on social media, and one even got hired then didn't show up and basically quit by blocking on FB and not answering calls.

    Maybe bring guitar and amp to the first scheduled gig and set up an hour early?
    Hahahahahahahahaha!
     
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  12. scottser

    scottser Friend of Leo's

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    Um, I think there was a thread on here a few weeks ago asking should they fire their uppity guitarist..
    Sorry, that's our bad.
    Only messing. Anyone who shows you that little consideration deserves none from you.
     
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  13. 8barlouie

    8barlouie Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    I really sympathize. There’s not many things worse than abandonment, especially when it happens out the back door. Just keep in mind that if you sit on that pity pot too long it’ll give you hemorrhoids. Get out there and find another group of people you really dig being around who have some common courtesy.
     
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  14. Swampash&Tweed

    Swampash&Tweed Friend of Leo's

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    Find a drummer, bass player......do exactly what you want. Then the three of you stick to firing Lead singers. :cool:
     
  15. RiversQC

    RiversQC Tele-Meister

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    Not band related, but I run a hockey team on the side. 30-40 year olds mostly. We have a longstanding and reliable core group but several times now we've had new guys just... stop showing up and never respond to messages. Just "ghost." How hard is it to say 'I changed my mind, this isn't for me', etc? Not sure where this phenomenon crept in, but frankly I'm more embarrassed for them than I am annoyed on my own account! (And sheesh, for anyone to be in an actual relationship with someone like this, but I digress even further).

    I'm sorry for the OP as being the one left out and in the dark sucks. Wishing you good luck in the next project.
     
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  16. Milspec

    Milspec Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    It sure is becoming the norm in business. I remember hiring a guy a few years ago and he told me on his first day that he wanted Friday off because he had a bowling league that day. I told him no as we work Fridays...never came back from lunch. He didn't say anything, didn't call, wouldn't answer his phone, nothing. Just split.

    It happened to my business as well. My main contract was worth $80k per year and I had been working it for 12 years and then they suddenly stopped scheduling. They kept telling me that nothing changed, they just wanted to hold off for a little bit. Time continued to pass and they never scheduled anything, stopped taking calls, and didn't reply to emails or texts. Turned out that they replaced me with the CEO's new son-in-law and didn't want to tell me since I held an exclusive contract. After 4 months, the truth came out and my business never recovered. No loyalty, no ethics, no honor in this world anymore.
     
  17. Skydog1010

    Skydog1010 Tele-Afflicted Platinum Supporter

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    I get kicked off forum's all the time. LOL.

    at 65 I'm not the least bit worried about being in a band - mark my words at some point, especially with the technology at our disposal these days, you won't either.
     
  18. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity

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    Just maybe your work ethic intimidated them? Finding compatible band members is like trying to find your soulmate, only times three or five! Maybe the last band reunited with an old friend with whom they had previous relationships. Who knows? All I know is that keeping a band together when we're middle-aged seems a thousand times harder than when in high school or college. We all seem to have more "issues" now, and less flexibility in overlooking things.
     
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  19. Skydog1010

    Skydog1010 Tele-Afflicted Platinum Supporter

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    That's just wrong.
     
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  20. Skydog1010

    Skydog1010 Tele-Afflicted Platinum Supporter

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    Why they made lawyers
     
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