I’m depressed and need to laugh. Tell me a joke.

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Doctorx33, Aug 19, 2019.

  1. EsquireOK

    EsquireOK Friend of Leo's

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    Q: What happened to the peanut when it rode the New York subway late at night?

    A: It was a salted.
     
  2. SecretSquirrel

    SecretSquirrel Friend of Leo's Ad Free Member

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    Q: A guitar player, a bassist and a drummer are together in a car. Who's driving?
     
  3. SecretSquirrel

    SecretSquirrel Friend of Leo's Ad Free Member

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    A: The cop.
     
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  4. SecretSquirrel

    SecretSquirrel Friend of Leo's Ad Free Member

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    A drummer, late for an important audition, is circling a busy city block, looking for a parking place.

    Finally in desperation he cries out, "Lord if you just give me a parking place, I promise to go to church every Sunday, and take drum lessons and practice between rehearsals!!"

    He rounds the corner, and lo! — there's a newly free parking space!

    "Found one — never mind!!"
     
    nojazzhere likes this.
  5. VintageSG

    VintageSG Friend of Leo's Ad Free Member

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    Farmer : Hey!, did you steal my thesaurus?

    Horse : Nope.


    <let it sink in...>

    There's a type of bee you can obtain milk from. The boo bee.

    What do you call a girl who juggles pint glasses?, Beatrix.

    A rapper was sent to prison on tax fraud charges. Maybe this time, they'll finish a sentence.

    What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the sea?, Bob.

    The winner of the Chinese cow-pat hurling competition?, Hu Flungdung.

    I once tried to eat barbecued Ewok. Tasty, but a little Chewie.

    How do you make a dead raccoon bark?, Pour petrol on it, throw a lit match at it and Woof!
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2019
  6. trev333

    trev333 Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Two Aussies are drinking together. One says, “When I die, will you promise to pour a beer on my grave?” The other replies, “No worries mate, but I’ll have to pass it through my kidneys first.”
     
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  7. TheGoodTexan

    TheGoodTexan Moderator Staff Member Ad Free Member

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    I texted that to my mom a while back. She said “ok sweetie, I’ll watch for it and let you know.”
     
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  8. Tele22

    Tele22 Tele-Meister

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    The Queen is giving Trump a tour of London by horse-drawn carriage. Suddenly one of the horses lets one rip. The Queen, feeling embarrassed, turns to Trump and says: ‘I’m so sorry!’

    Trump replies: ‘Don’t worry about it, I thought it was one of the horses.’
     
    nojazzhere likes this.
  9. Chiogtr4x

    Chiogtr4x Poster Extraordinaire

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    What's red and green and goes 300 MPH?

    A frog inside a blender.

    (juvenile I know, first heard it in '70's)
     
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  10. Brad Pittiful

    Brad Pittiful Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    i would post a pic of my pay check...but its done electronic...i do not get it in hand...anyway...if you saw what i make...you die laughing
     
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