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Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Doctorx33, Aug 19, 2019.
Q: What happened to the peanut when it rode the New York subway late at night?
A: It was a salted.
Q: A guitar player, a bassist and a drummer are together in a car. Who's driving?
A: The cop.
A drummer, late for an important audition, is circling a busy city block, looking for a parking place.
Finally in desperation he cries out, "Lord if you just give me a parking place, I promise to go to church every Sunday, and take drum lessons and practice between rehearsals!!"
He rounds the corner, and lo! — there's a newly free parking space!
"Found one — never mind!!"
Farmer : Hey!, did you steal my thesaurus?
Horse : Nope.
<let it sink in...>
There's a type of bee you can obtain milk from. The boo bee.
What do you call a girl who juggles pint glasses?, Beatrix.
A rapper was sent to prison on tax fraud charges. Maybe this time, they'll finish a sentence.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the sea?, Bob.
The winner of the Chinese cow-pat hurling competition?, Hu Flungdung.
I once tried to eat barbecued Ewok. Tasty, but a little Chewie.
How do you make a dead raccoon bark?, Pour petrol on it, throw a lit match at it and Woof!
Two Aussies are drinking together. One says, “When I die, will you promise to pour a beer on my grave?” The other replies, “No worries mate, but I’ll have to pass it through my kidneys first.”
I texted that to my mom a while back. She said “ok sweetie, I’ll watch for it and let you know.”
The Queen is giving Trump a tour of London by horse-drawn carriage. Suddenly one of the horses lets one rip. The Queen, feeling embarrassed, turns to Trump and says: ‘I’m so sorry!’
Trump replies: ‘Don’t worry about it, I thought it was one of the horses.’
What's red and green and goes 300 MPH?
A frog inside a blender.
(juvenile I know, first heard it in '70's)
i would post a pic of my pay check...but its done electronic...i do not get it in hand...anyway...if you saw what i make...you die laughing