How to sneak a guitar under the wife’s radar

marc2211

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As I work away during the week in another country I have a work apartment that ‘may or may not’ be stacked full of guitar stuff…

When it’ll come time to move everything back to my house… that may be a a fun discussion…

In seriousness, my wife is a guitar enabler and really doesn’t mind about my guitars as she also has her hobbies (horses anyone?). I only have 2 guitars at home and a lovely Silver Jubilee head and cab that my wife bought me as an Xmas present, but maybe 8 guitars, 20 pedals and 3 amps when I’m away.
 

SixStringSlinger

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That is bad advice.

She will throw it right back at you with jewelry. And that stuff's expensive o_O

One's money is one's own, and so is the financial responsibility. I'm mostly referring to eye-rolling a box that could just as easily be a brick.

Years ago, I bought a Bourgeois dread and left the receipt on the kitchen table. My teenage daughter comes home, sees the receipt and says, "Did you buy another GUITAR!"

I reply, "At least it's not drugs!"

Daughter: "It would be cheaper!"

She may have had a point.

At least you have a sharp kid!
 

Happy Enchilada

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Ironically, Mrs. Enchilada doesn't get her nickers in a knot with me buying firearms, which are often more expensive than guitars, not to mention engines of death. Why? Most of them get bought while she's out of the house, and then disappear into the black hole of my gun safe. In addition, she was raised on a working cattle ranch and all the men in the family hunt (including me and our 2 boys), so she is well aware of the part that firearms play in the great circle of life.

Guitars, however, are WAY too big to fit in a safe.
My "collection," which is actually shrinking due to my current penchant for "thinning the herd," is stacked in a dimly lit corner of the basement rec room. All the cases are black except one tweed, so to her uneducated eye, they all pretty much look alike. I always have one electric and sometimes also an acoustic out on stands here in my office so I can pick one up and diddle it at my convenience (which is also a key to becoming a better player, so I hear). And most of the time, that's all she ever sees.

So as long as I don't start accumulating exotic cases and don't put anything that would alert her Spidey senses on display in the office, I'm pretty much golden. She did notice my most recent acquisition - red sparkle Squier Bullet Telecaster - but my gosh, who wouldn't? It'll go off to the tech next week for a full-on organ transplant, during which time it'll be out of sight/out of mind. Plus I told her it cost less than a stompbox, so she wasn't livid.

And I only have a couple amps now, one in the office and one boxed up in its original carton, lurking in the same dark corner as the cases, so that's not on her radar. And I found an old 2-drawer file cabinet for $20 at Goodwill with enough storage space for pedals, cables, spare parts, etc. so all that stuff doesn't raise any eyebrows.

In addition, I remind her once in a while that it's safer and cheaper than chasing redheads or riding a Harley, to which she rolls her eyes, but I'm hoping that through repetition she will eventually believe it (ask any politician - this can work!). She also said something once that was very insightful and stuck with me: "Every guy has some excuse to dress up like one of the Village People on the weekend." I guess we're just the musicians that accompany them, right? :cool:

Could be worse. I have a friend who moved out to the country and has bears and pumas on his property. He and his wife stroll around taking pictures of their footprints and in the case of the bear, repairing the damage done to birdfeeders, etc. Yet she won't let him get a firearm for protection, which they probably need worse than I ever will. And he's a drummer, but I've never seen a kit set up in his home. Poor ba$tard.
 

jays0n

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Buy them all the same color.
Nice!! I use this method :) Also, I try to send one out if one is coming in, so even if I am caught, it’s not that bad.

One I used with bicycles and bike gear was “borrowing” from my friend who worked in a shop and built bikes. He had major GAS problems and was always flipping gear. I “borrowed” a lot of things that ended up staying somehow “… oh he ended up needing to sell it and I helped him out … etc etc”

Not suggesting anyone actually trick the Mrs. though.
 

notmyusualuserid

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I recently spent...a lot of money on two new cars. If my wife wants anything she only has to ask. Another guitar isn't going to phase her.

If you really need to lie to your wife about the price of a guitar you probably need to think about your life choices, and read the "are all guitar players poor" thread. :)
 

willietheweirdo

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Years ago, I bought a Bourgeois dread and left the receipt on the kitchen table. My teenage daughter comes home, sees the receipt and says, "Did you buy another GUITAR!"

I reply, "At least it's not drugs!"

Daughter: "It would be cheaper!"

She may have had a point.
🎶 There's a hole in daddy's guitar case where all the money goes 🎶
 

bsman

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It's easy:

1643235778118.png
 

northernguitar

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Hey, man, some of us are playing chess out here 🥵 #strategy
Been there. I was pathetic.

Half the time, I wonder if these 'poor' husbands are buying an axe instead of paying down the mortgage or their kids tuition.

If matters are secure, and there's still a problem, it aint the need for another guitar.
 
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loopfinding

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I know the OP was in jest...but yeah. Pathetic if you have to lie about this.

The only time I ever lied about a guitar acquisition and kept it at work was at my old man’s house. But that was after acquiring some very large vintage amps/cabs and he was very much not pleased about the storage. When I brought it home a while later he was like “oh, you bought a tele? Cool!”
 

Timbresmith1

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One day, I just decided I wasn’t going to lie about that stuff anymore. I’m an adult male. I work. I’ve ALWAYS worked. Why the hell am I pussyfooting around?
It started after a new couch and overstuffed chair showed up without my input. Then she got a new computer. I found out that there was “Our money”, and “Her money”. My money was automatically “Our money”. Hers was not. Screw that.
 




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