How talkative are you?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by BigDaddyLH, Nov 7, 2019 at 4:25 PM.

  1. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    If you're a good listener you can talk even more, 'cause if you keep track of the things they say that raise a question, you've got plenty of material for the conversation.
     
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  2. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    If you figure out how to answer that question, you can go live high on a mountain top, and people climb it and ask you THE secret of life.
     
  3. teletimetx

    teletimetx Doctor of Teleocity

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    I appreciate the thought - however, Mrs. 3T provides regular updates on the matter. I'm a good listener. She's very intelligent, quite accomplished on a number of fronts, worked in Paris for a number of years, etc. As the saying goes, I may have out-punted my coverage, but I'm ok with that, too.
     
  4. brookdalebill

    brookdalebill Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    I find that most people are more verbose than me.
    I do blather occasionally, depending on how long I’ve been acquainted with my partner in conversation.
    I feel the weight of people’s boredom, so I don’t drone.
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2019 at 1:50 PM
  5. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    THAT is a useful skill.
     
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  6. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I found myself completely at a lost for words one time back when I was selling farm equipment. I made a really bad mistake of not calling ahead before I stopped off at a client's place to get some papers signed. When I rang the doorbell, (and why she answered the door, I'll never know) the guys wife, a really good looking hottie answered the door, wearing a negligee, at that very instant, I could see the client's partner in the background dancing around on one foot wearing a pair of underwear and trying frantically trying to get into his trousers! I just handed the papers to the woman, and said these are for your husband. Not other words were exchanged. I waited for an explosion that never came from the husband, though I didn't say a word. Eventually though someone must have told him what was going on. They divorced, the other guy ended up with the equipment, the business and the wife. You just never know what you're gonna run into during the course of the day.
     
  7. Charlie Bernstein

    Charlie Bernstein Poster Extraordinaire

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    You're probably just an introvert.

    The main difference between extroverts and introverts is that extroverts get energized by being with people, while introverts recharge by being alone.

    No one is a hundred percent one or the other. We're all different combinations. Some people are fifty-fifty, some are extremely one or the other.

    Someone once said that to an introvert, hell is other people at breakfast.

    Interesting trivia: the country with the highest percentage of extroverts is the US. The one with the most introverts is China. We introverts would fit in better in China. In the US, we can seem weird or creepy. (To the Chinese, Americans can seem annoying.)

    There's a lot written on the subject, especially if you Google Meyers Briggs.

    Susan Cain wrote a great little book about it called Quiet: The Power of Introverts In a World That Can't Stop Talking.

    Here she is doing a TED talk:

     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2019 at 12:21 PM
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  8. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    AFAIK the finding stuff like that out should come before the fiancee thing.
    Amiright?
     
  9. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    Yes! That is exactly what I am, although I think it is possible for an introvert to be talkative.

    It took me a while to discover this energise difference, and my wife being more to the extrovert end of the scale, at first (1) didn't believe that I (and everyone) wasn't energised by being with people and (2) when she discovered I wasn't energised by being with people took this to mean I didn't *like* being with people. That wasn't true, I just needed to control the dose and rechange after use.

    Another thing I notice with talking is that at a dinner party, when the conversation is moving along, I'll want to add to it but it's like pulling into heavy traffic! By the time I feel I can speak I realise the conversation has moved on and I'm five minutes behind everyone else. I wonder if this "is a thing", or it's just me :oops:
     
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  10. Charlie Bernstein

    Charlie Bernstein Poster Extraordinaire

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    I did before I retired. As a confirmed introvert, retiring was a huge relief!
     
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  11. Charlie Bernstein

    Charlie Bernstein Poster Extraordinaire

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    Absolutely! (See #90 above.)
     
  12. Charlie Bernstein

    Charlie Bernstein Poster Extraordinaire

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    Pretty normal. Introverts think before we talk, while extroverts tend to shoot from the lip. So it's just logistically easier for extroverts to merge with rush hour traffic.

    Sometimes I sit back and enjoy the flow. Other times, I pick one person at a party to talk with. (And other times, I just leave early!)
     
  13. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    AFAIK there are things that are not revealed before the fiancee stage, and yet more things that are still not revealed until the married stage. Iamright. :)
     
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  14. cc50fralin

    cc50fralin Tele-Meister

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    Then, I am an introvert.

    I love people, but I also love being alone.

    After a party, I need a day or two to recharge, as people drag me down with their mostly boring conversations.

    Maybe they think I'm boring, but I never drone on and on, and I can sense very early in a conversation when someone is losing interest.

    Mike
     
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  15. bcorig

    bcorig Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    Yup. I arrived at College in ‘68 and discovered the name of the game was “be clever”. Clever does not mean intelligent. Also it often involves stealing an idea from someone else and using it as your own.
     
  16. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Therein lies the problem...
     
  17. schmee

    schmee Poster Extraordinaire

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    NOT. S T eff U

    "Now everybody's talkin',
    Cause talkin' comes cheap,
    I wish you'd quit runnin' your mouth off,
    You're irritatin' me!"
     
  18. Digital Larry

    Digital Larry Tele-Afflicted

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    Either too much or too little. When I get going, I also tend to spin off several layers of tangents and often have trouble getting back to where I started.
     
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  19. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Hey you never really know someone until you divorce them
     
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  20. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    IMO or IME two types is too simple.

    My wife used to need to be left alone for breakfast time when I was talkative.
    I learned to shut up then and she got interested in talking then.
    Seems her parents had always forgotten over night and were surprised by her silence in the morning, so she was always pushed to talk.
    Given some space she got yappy with me in the morning, resulting in me needing more quiet while making coffee and brushing my teeth.

    But regardless of that example, I am recharged by people and love social interaction, yet also require time alone and get some needs filled in quiet time.
    WRT introverts thinking before speaking, I do a lot of thinking before speaking and can struggle to be on topic in situations where many are talking at once, but am still an extrovert in these situations.
    The thing with being extroverted is it isn't all about having an audience to entertain.

    I do see extroverted people who only want to talk, but there are also extroverts who really listen before speaking and have meaningful responses that required processing of what they just heard, as opposed to spewing canned opinion on the subject at hand.

    Maybe there are dumber and smarter introverts and extroverts.
    Maybe there are also introverts and extroverts with and without ADHD.
    Then there would be compassionate and dispassionate introverts and extroverts.
    For that matter, compassion is not exclusionary to dispassion.

    Type casting people is stuff that only certain people choose to do.
    What type of person is one who labels others as being a type?

    FWIW it's fair to say that generalizations are solid tools in understanding the world around us.
    Yet some of us and myself in particular gravitate toward individuals who fall outside of the generalized human condition.
    IME musicians (this isn't every person who plays an instrument though) tend to fall outside of the typical range.
    Yet of course in many ways we aberrations can be multi-labeled and truly embody the labels that attempt to confine us.
     
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