How talkative are you?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by BigDaddyLH, Nov 7, 2019 at 4:25 PM.

  1. P Thought

    P Thought Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    I work to distinguish the difference between talking with people and talking to them.

    I wasn't always that way. I inherited from my mom a tendency to talk too much. My old business partner jumped me about it once, a long time ago. That was pretty disturbing, but I began to work on my listening skills.

    It's become easier as I've grown older, I think because I've "de-centered", realizing that my personal impact on the world around me is much less than I once thought it was.

    There I go again. I is everybody's favorite topic.
     
    getbent, telemnemonics and GuitarKid like this.
  2. middy

    middy Friend of Leo's

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    As John Prine would say, “You got news for me, I got nothin’ for you.”

     
  3. GuitarKid

    GuitarKid Tele-Holic

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    I've realized that it's a lost cause to want or expect everybody to have a sharp conversational awareness. I probably have too much of it. It's human nature. Some will babble out of their elbows, interrupt you, and not even try to look like they're listening to you when you do venture to speak to such self centered talking machines. Especially when they have a strong Gemini or two.

    My approach now is to shoot a short sentence that sounds like a flaming arrow in the middle of all the excessive noise. This makes inattentive speakers eventually go like - wait, what is he saying? But I always do so not to sound like I'm trying hard, but rather lightly, as if I'm talking to myself.

    I talk about 30-40% less than my wife. But that's ok. Somebody has to be in charge of the talking. It keeps our home lively and that's a good thing.
     
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  4. bcorig

    bcorig Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    For years I loved the sound of my own voice but eventually realized, perhaps not soon enough, not everyone else did. Now I concentrate on encouraging others to speak and just listening. I’m learning more About various topics, the people I engage with and myself.
    Looking someone in the eyes allows me to better focus on what they’re saying and tells them I’m listening.
    Tried it first with my wife and she asked “what’s wrong?”
     
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  5. Rustbucket

    Rustbucket Poster Extraordinaire

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    Another appropriate JP lyric:
    “How the hell can a person
    go to work in the mornin’
    come home in the evenin’
    and have nothin’ to say?”
     
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  6. Rustbucket

    Rustbucket Poster Extraordinaire

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    I started off shy as a kid, but between University and 15 years in the construction industry I have overcome that. I still listen more than I speak, but can hold my own leading a meeting, making a presentation or singing on stage. I still struggle with small talk, but can discuss things enthusiastically if I am interested in the subject.

    I’m definitely at my quietest when visiting my Québécois in-laws. Need to continue working on my Français.:(
     
  7. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    BDLH aint talkin much...

    ...Speaking of not talking much, does that mean one is a good listener?
    Or can a good talker also be a good listener, while a measured user of words may not hear a thing we say or even care?
     
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  8. beyer160

    beyer160 Friend of Leo's

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    Depends on the topic.

    If we're strangers standing in line at the airport and you say "awful cold this morning!", I will likely not respond at all.

    If we're at a cocktail party and you mention World War I, I will not stop talking until you run away. If I've been drinking, I may follow you.
     
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  9. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Generally I find most social situations to be that people seem to feel they have a lot of important/pertinent stuff to say, where really from my perspective they do not.

    So I just tend to clam up and let them prattle on

    There's an awful lotta arrogant/self-important/obvious/just plain dumb people out there, I find
     
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  10. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    I think that first-cup-of-coffee rule is even somewhere in the Bible.
     
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  11. raysachs

    raysachs Friend of Leo's

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    As talkative as the situation calls for, but in limited doses. Being around people and interacting for too long wears me out and shuts me up and makes me want to withdraw. But in limited doses, I'm happy to talk to folks and enjoy it. My daughter got married a couple weeks ago and I had to be very very very social for about 3 days straight of intensive talking to everyone there. I managed it and I had a blast - the whole experience was one of life's peak times. But when i got home after it was over I basically went hermit on the world for several days, only talking to my wife, I think. Oh, and my mechanic because my car died at the airport parking lot, so I had to deal with all of that the next day...
     
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  12. Mike Eskimo

    Mike Eskimo Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Never too late to learn :

    Just because it enters your head , doesn’t mean it has to exit your mouth.

    My ADD friend has never gotten that , but his example made me hyper-aware of that tendency in me.

    So thank you, Sir Jibber-Jabber of Blabbermouth !
     
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  13. P Thought

    P Thought Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    I used to say a thing to kids in my classroom: 99% of the things that you think of to say do not need to be said. I'm not always able to hold myself to that principle, but I try.
     
  14. JesterJoe

    JesterJoe TDPRI Member

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    It depends on what mood I am in. Some days I don't really want to talk whereas other days you can't shut me up.
     
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  15. teletimetx

    teletimetx Doctor of Teleocity

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    Just this morning, Mrs. Teletimetx says, "You don't tell me enough about how you're feeling."

    I just smiled and hugged her.

    She continued, "No, I mean it. I'm serious, if you have some kind of health thing going on, I need to know about it."

    Me: "Ok!"

    end of conversation.
     
  16. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    The little I know about women tells me that is not over.
     
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  17. cc50fralin

    cc50fralin Tele-Meister

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    Basically, I am on the quiet side, especially if I'm around people I don't know well.
    Once I know you, I will open up, but am always aware of how people are receiving what I say.
    One friend of mine gave me what I thought was a very good, accurate compliment. He said, " You know what I like about you? You know when to keep your mouth shut."

    My opinion: God gave us skulls to keep our thoughts separate.

    I never lie.

    Mike ;)
     
  18. teletimetx

    teletimetx Doctor of Teleocity

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    It's never over. That's not rocket science.

    Mrs. 3T and I both know that - but she's not asking because she doesn't care. That she keeps trying is encouraging, at least to me.

    We're both in our 60's, so the likelihood of massive process change is not likely. It's not the first rodeo for either of us and we both feel pretty fortunate - even when I'm not talking about my feelings enough...
     
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  19. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    Now were you burying a body at the time? :lol:
     
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  20. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    The little I know about women tells me she wants you to inquire regarding her health.

    My son's fiancee bought herself flowers the other day. I told him, "Uh-oh. You were supposed to buy her flowers, and didn't." He said "Yeah, I know. But how was I supposed to know that?"

    Of course, there is no answer to that question
     
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